Run for your Destiny
by Sean MacTire
Summary: Running to find the exit is the only solution the prisonners of the Maze have. When the new boy who broke the rules upon his arrival is actually a she, the game change. She might have the key...
1. Prologue

_Thank you for reading this story. Before you start, a small warning: I saw the movie 1time. In order to write my fanfiction, I modify the environment. It is BASED on the Maze Runner directed by Wes Ball, based on James Dashner and follow the same ideas –or close by-, but I added and changed some characters. I really liked the movie and believe the book is amazing, however I am a beginner in writing and had to know all of the Word I was working on. So I did various changes. Now you know_ :D

 _Please enjoy and feel free to post comment if you like it!_

 **Prologue**

 _*Cold._

The icy kiss of metal against my cheek makes it feel numb. Or was it the diffuse sensation waking up my skin and pushing me on the edge of conscience that made me feel this way?

After all, the cold against my face was the only thing I could feel.

Was I dead? They say that you grow colder and colder when life is leaving you. And that you are losing all the sensation, all the pain of your charnel envelope. I send my conscience do a check on my body.

According to the furious pain under my skull, I guess that was not the end for me.

"Ughhh…" a moan escaped my lips

The pain was unbearable, giving me the feeling someone was trying to explode my head with a hammer. From within. I shut my eyes tighter, trying unsuccessfully to control the pain and the nauseous feeling.

I could hear my blood bumping at my temps.

Boum Boum Boum rrrr Boum Boum rrrrr Boum.

 _Wait, that is a strange sound, even for the worst headache ever._ I thought.

Slowly, I realized that my blood was not the only one screaming in my ears. A more mechanical sounds was echoing it. With the best courage I could gathered, I opened an eye and got a glimpse of my immediate surroundings…..before shutting it down again.

Face against the floor, the only thing I saw was the floor, composed of a thick and frozen grille that was used and greasy.

"God…" I sighed

That was not the state of the floor that made my call a superior entity. No. But the fact that between the bars, I could see what was under.

 _Or what was not._ I sarcastically completed mentally.

No real floor, nothing. Just an empty and deep endless tunnel. And I was on the top of that.

At the same moment, I realized what my subconscious was trying to let me know, but that was way too busy trying to make it shut up, to listen. I was in movement. Well, not me, but the cage I was in.

A survival –and probably sadistic- instinct, pushed me to open my eyes again to analyse more of my surroundings. With effort, I tried to open my left eye. The pain made me renounce. Better than thinking I was giving up, I told myself I was letting it rest, one eye is more than enough, the cage was not that big after all.

Not brave enough to face what was _not_ under me, I roll on my side with a groan. I found myself facing wood boxes where was painted WICKED on majuscule white letter.

Why was that familiar? Where did I ever saw that? When I started to try to remember I realized something scarier. I had no idea of where I was coming from.

I didn't have any time to think about the last part that my cage stopped suddenly, strongly enough to make me wince in pain.

In panic, I frankly looked around me. Was I blocked here? Left here to die?

The cage/elevator was scary, but at least, giving me the vague impression that I was going somewhere. Now I was stopped in the middle of nothing, having just the dim red light coming from somewhere on the boxes to light my miserable cage.

My heart started to beat so furiously I had the feeling it will just stop, cutting all the connections with the other organs, my breathe became hasty and I felt the cold sweat in my back, gluing my tee-shirt on my torso.

With the same abruptness than the cage had stopped with, a stabbing white light pierced my eyes, making me remember all of my still painful headache.

I raised an arm to protect my face, trying to hide my eyes in the shadow.

 _At least sounds like I have arrived som…_ I started to think.

Interrupting my thoughts, a piercing voice made me realize I was not alone anymore. It took me some seconds to focus on it, missing the beginning of the sentence.

"…. not supposed to arrive before another 10 days. What does it mean?!" Exclaimed a deep voice.

The voice was actually deeper than my aching skull was making me believe. And actually, I was quite agreeing with his owner. What the fuck was the meaning of all that?

I forced myself to let my arm go down. My eyes still hurt but I needed to understand what was happening here. My vision was blurry and wet. I gripped the corner of the cage, raising my body little by little to feel less powerless.

"Well, I would like some explanation t…." I pushed my voice out.

Weaker than expected, sounding like I didn't talk for an eternity. A cough interrupt me, reminding me with success why I was trying to avoid moving around. I reflexively put my hand on my mouth and realize that all my face was wet.

 _What the…..?_ I freaked out when I brought my hand back in front of my eyes.

It was red on my palm. Blood.

BOUM

A sudden movement make the cage tremble. In panic, I raised my head and grab the cage more tightly with my other hand, forgetting the bloody one, to look at my opponent.

"What did you…?!" I groaned at the indistinct form.

"Ohhhhhh! He needs the med guys!" A powerful voice interrupt me

 _He? Who?_

"He is covered of blood!" finished the first voice.

"Well get him out of here genius." interrupted a sarcastic voice from outside my view answering to the first one, echoed by some laugh.

"I know that! Come here greenie."

I understand that I was supposed to be the greenie, according to the hand he was presenting to me.

His movement made me push myself in the corner even more.

The one facing me was starting to get pissed of.

I push myself even harder in the corner, not really sure that it would be safe to follow them.

"Oy, I'm not going to wait for you. Come here, don't make me come for you!" He said angrier, starting to advance toward me in a threatened way.

And there it was too much. I was cold, hurt, my head was going to kill me, and these people, well at least this one, wanted to bring me somewhere else, threatening me. I was not confident in the idea of moving around so I did the easiest thing. I push myself from the corner and bite his hand as hard as I could.

"AAAAAAH! You son of a …." Screamed the guy.

I could feel his blood in my mouth.

 _Don't go down without a fight, never._ I told myself.

The man, kicked me in the stomach, throwing me back in my corner. I was still smiling when I passed out. According to my physical condition, it was better than nothing. I hurt one. I tasted his blood. Ok, I was passing out, but at least, I didn't look like the terrified weak and lost girl that I really was.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I was dreaming. Some small imp with a small red hat was smirking at me.

"I'm going to eat this nut!" said the small imp.

His nasal voice made me realize I was a nut. Actually my head was. The imp was, like a clock, beating his hammer on my skull repeatedly.

"Ding Ding Ding" was doing its hammer.

I had the diffuse sensation that my skull was starting to crumble under his shots.

"No, I'm not good …. Don't eat me!" I shouted

"God, he seriously hurt his head!" Answered me the dwarf, with a big smile showing me his big and sharp tooth.

"No I'm rotten, you can't eat me!" I persevered in my try to disgust them from eating me.

"Rotten? Seriously? Mouahaha at least, he's entertaining this midget!" laughed the imp.

"Yep, don't wake him up! It's been a while I didn't see a good show!" Answered his hammer with a low speech and a sunny accent.

"Hey! If you're going to not move your ass, get the hell out!" Screamed anther voice.

I realized the voice was coming from lianas, themselves coming from the grounds and blocking my own arms.

"Noooooo! Don't eat me!" I shouted while I started kicking around, no intention of getting eaten.

"For God' sake, DO DOMETHING IDIOTS!" shouted the lianas.

I suddenly receive a glass of water in my face. Gasping for air, I opened widely my eyes to realize that the imp, hammer and lianas were actually 3 boys tempting to immobilize me. Well, one was trying, pushing himself on my upper arms. The other one was vaguely trying to look serious with an empty glass in his hand. The last one was definitely not trying, hugging himself and laughing out loud.

"What…the…?" I started, obviously confuse.

"Stop moving lad, please!" Asked the first one, breathing hardly.

"Why a brat like you has so good punch?" He continued with doubtfully letting go of me.

I was too surprise to react and was following what he asked of me.

 _Well, he did say "please"_ I convinced myself.

"Thank you! You would almost make me feel you are defenceless if you hadn't nearly broke my perfect noise, lad!" He said looking accusatively at me and touching slowly the said noise which looked perfectly fine, with a theatrical air of an actor from a Greec tragedy.

He had an aura of comfort all around him, which allow me to relax and to rise the beginning of a smile at his act. He looked like he was nearly 20, his skin of warm coca and a friendly smile that got bigger seeing my reaction to his act.

"You were trying to eat me." I rumbled, making the last member explode.

I arched my right eyebrow at him. Asian typed, he was strongly build. The stronger of the room definitely. Who didn't look that scary with a purple face, trying to catch his breath.

"I like him! I so fucking like this dude!" He said, between 2 laughs.

" Yeah we can all see that Minho. Now calm down or Doc' is going to have to put you on the table too." Said the guy I took for the hammer, with an accent so strong, that he looked like he was singing, in slow motion, which was definitely relaxing.

I got a surprise thought that despise his strong accent, he looked like he was 15, middle size, red hair. The only thing that would remember the sun in his physical was his tainted skin, dotted of a massive amount of freckle.

"Now that you two had you're fun, get out of here and bring the big boss!" Pushed the guy so called Doc.

"Aye, aye, Doc'! Come here you dumbass", said the red head, half helping, half pushing the Asian guy out of the room.

With a disillusioned sight, Doc' looked at me

"Excuse them lad, they don't have a lot of fun here."

I was feeling in peace with him.

"Where are we?" I asked, feeling strangely calm, sitting up to face him.

"Alvi, our big boss, will explain all of that to you lad," he said, in a way that would make me believe everything will be ok, that I will have all the answers I ever looked for.

"But before that, could you confirm one thing to me?" he continued.

It was impossible to say no to him, or to feel scared, so I just nodded.

"You are a girl, aren't you lad?" He asked softly.

I felt my cheek grew red, while I was, hiding my torso with my hands. I had realized they all mistook me for a boy, and felt unconsciously that it was not such a bad idea.

Seeing my reaction, he laughed. A deep laughed that made me feel like a kid.

"Nobody touched or saw anything, don't worry lad. I was just trying to check your stomach when I saw the bottom of the bandage. My brain figure out the rest." he reassured me.

I had realize this bandage, well actually, I have _knew_ I had this bandage since the first time I woke up.

"It is not such a bad idea to keep it shut up. Making me raise my head in half surprise and half hope." He sighed.

"That is if our leader thinks so too lad!" He said raising his hands in front of him, like he was stopping me to react too strongly.

"If I think so too what?" Interrupted an honey like voice.

I gasped, I didn't feel him getting near at all. Which made me realize that the fake bubble of comfort I was in was because of the Doc', he was emitting some strange and appeasing aura. I glared at Doc', making him smile, understanding where I was thinking.

"They call that natural gift" he said apologetically

"Because it is Doc'," said the other man respectfully, making me report my attention toward him, looking at him suspiciously.

Tall, he was definitely not someone I would look for a fight against. He didn't have a body builded type of body, but the way he was moving was a living proof that every part of him knew how to hurt someone. I didn't know how I knew it, but I was sure of it. He was dark chocolate skin and was moving like if he was saving his strength.

"Let me introduce Alvi, our big boss here, lad." introduced the Doc'.

"So you are the greenie that is trying to eat my guys?" asked the newcomer.

"They didn't introduce themselves" I answered him sarcastically.

Being scared was making my open a never-shutting-mouth. My remark made him smile. Which scared me even more; He was clearly showing all his perfect white tooth, and his smile looked dangerously close to mean, let me try the same.

Before I could open my mouth to throw another useless remark to him, the Doc' interrupted me by saying.

"Alvi, let me introduce our new guest here. By the way, _he_ is a _she_." Explained Doc'.

I swear that the face of the boss became white.

"A what?!" was the only answer from the called Alvi.

"A girl; you know a female. Well, in the beginning God created a man, and then a woman. Or in the different order. Anyway, he created different gender so like this, they can have little babies. Do I need to draw so it'll be easier?" I made fun of him.

Yes, I was right, I definitely have a suicidal instinct. When someone scares you, push him to kill you. Best survival instinct ever. Oh God, I was going to get myself killed.

Alvi looked like my comments made him come back and he stared at me. I smiled to him. My turn to show him all my teeth. Doc' glared at me, making me shut up.

"What, just trying to be helpful here" I grumbled.

"Anyway, I think it will be easier to let her pass as a guy. Not that the other would tried anything even I she is the only one, but that would create trouble and they will get even more lost and someone may finish hurt." Explained Doc'.

"Hey! What do you mean "not that the other would tried anything funny"?!" I exclaimed, looking falsely hurt when my stomach was making a knot on itself.

I didn't thought that anybody would try something funny. I didn't want to think about this kind of thing.

"More importantly, you mean that there is no other girl here?" I asked.

This time, Avi looked seriously at me.

"You are the only one." He answered me before going back to Doc'. "I believe…that this is the right thing to do. I feel that you are like us. You arrived covered in blood, so I don't think you are a spy. And I don't want to lynch anyone. There is already questions on the fact that you arrived like this, and 10 days before planned. If we add this information, they will scream for your blood."

On the corner of my eye I observed Doc' shaking sadly his head in agreement with his leader. For once, the shivers on my spine didn't make me open my mouth. Wow, they were serious.

I tried to speak but something in my throat was blocking it. I took few deep breath before asking them.

"Can you explain to me where we are?" I asked.

It took them a long time to explain to me. We were in the middle of a maze. A safe place –or so they tried to say without really looking convincing-, protected by high walls, in the middle of the maze. There were one heavy door, the only way in or out for us but also for the things outside. They seriously believed that these things wanted to kill us all. They gave too much example which made me go to the conclusion that I definitely didn't want to meet any of these things that they called grievers.

Every day, a couple of runners were trying to figure a way out of here. Everyday since a bit more than 5 years.

"And you never found anything, any exit or proof that there were an exit?" I asked dumfounded.

Only their silence answered me.

Doc' stood up and bring me glass of water, letting the chock trail away. I forced myself to drink all the water, even if my cracked lips had some issues with that.

Doc' waited patiently before continuing were Ali stopped.

They were a group of a bit less under 30 people. It started with Alvi a couple of years back and since then, one new member every month was brought here the same way I got there. Well, except that usually there were not beaten up, just confused.

"Wait, I'm not a mathematic genius, but shouldn't you be a bit more then?" I asked.

Their silence made me regret my question. I was almost happy they didn't answer me. Almost because my imagination was running wild after that.

At that part Doc' like a mother, checked my head again, explaining he had to stich me up, since I had a wound bigger than a finger on my forehead and numerous bruise all over my face. He then got back to the beginning.

"We stick together. None of us are mean or bad guys. But bringing a new girl would not be really safe." Doc' said softly

"I agree. What do you think greenie? It is your future after all." Asked Alvi.

"Well, it doesn't sounds like a bad idea. Especially since I have no recall of who I am." I answered them.

"No worries, nobody know. But are you sure lad?" Insisted Doc'.

Puzzled I looked at him.

"I mean, hiding your gender will be for the long term. Only the 3 of us will know the truth. Even if your hair are short, you won't be able to grew them. And now that we took off the blood from your face, your features look too much fragile. Long hair will make your womanly side come back." He analysed.

In front of the silence he got, from Alvi and I, his cheeks turn to a slight pink.

"What?! Aren't hair supposed to be the life of a woman?" He exclaimed in an outraged voice, making me laugh.

He smiled, happy to have made me feel at ease, especially after all of that.

"It's ok. If I believe my headache, I am still alive even with boyish hair." I joked.

 _And I have no intention of staying trapped here for ever, anyway_. I mentally added.

"Then it is decided. Newbie, you are officially welcome among us! And now you need some rest!" summed up Alvi.

I agreed with that. I was still feeling chocked after all of that. Strangely, it was not that I was in the middle of a maze with some creature trying to kill us, or that I had no recall of who I was that shocked me. But the fact that I was not surprised by all of that. The fact that everything sounded normal for me.

That was scaring the death out of me.

When I woke up, the Asian guy –Minho- was waiting for me. Probably on Alvi order. I vaguely recalled agreeing with Doc' and him that nobody except the 3 of us should know the truth and that I needed to become a part of the group as soon as possible.

 _I probably fall asleep before the part where he said that this guy was going to be my guide._ I thought while I was following out of the hut, the guy who was clearly showing that I was his own personal walking entertainment.

"Wow you're all blue!" Teased Minho, making obvious that my bruises on my face must look pretty awesome.

"Like you passed under a tree. Or run into a wall. Or bumped your head to a rock." He kept going.

"Yeah, I got the image the first time, smartass." I sighted.

The pain was bearable, I was only uncomfortable of my left half closed eye.

Ignoring the other comments from my guide –or so-self- called-, I watched around me with interest. The camp was roughly made, no real comfort here, but useful and basic environment made of small huts everywhere, trying to look organized. A forest was starting few meter away from the last hut. On the other side, it was all plain except for one tower in woods that was still standing. That was a miracle.

Everywhere boys, probably from 14 to 20 years old, were moving around, doing something useful or trying to look like. Many glared at me but none came to talk to me so I ignored them with superb.

It was not that hard, especially since my attention was focused on the immense walls, surrounding all of this *village*.

Well, almost all of it.

"Hey! What is the exit over there?" I asked my guide.

"That is the door" explained my guide, following my gaze. "The runners can exit at rising time and have to be back before sunset."

""Have to"?" I repeated.

"If they want to live." Concluded my guide with a point of sadness that make me shut up.

I didn't answer, trying to assimilate everything. Yeah, Alvi talked about that. The griefers were outside.

"Did you already see one? One of these griefers?" I asked, changing topic.

"Grievers," he corrected me. "Yeap, did and don't intend to do it again."

A sudden rush of activity toward the doors stopped me to ask him more.

"Come they must be back!" he exclaimed with enthusiasm

Without much of a choice, I followed him toward the heavy doors. The closer we approached, the more I was realizing how high and thick they were.

 _Who build that? Giants?_ I asked myself.

I was busy trying to see the top of the wall to pay attention to the 2 runners coming our way. But exclamations brought back my interest and filled of curiosity, I observed the two sweaty boys arrival.

 _Boys, what a surprise…_

"Newt! Happy to be home honey?" Teased Minho to one of them.

 _What kind of nickname is that?_ I was surprised.

"Bloody yes!" Answered one of the runner, who finally passed the door, trotting toward us and catching his breath easily. He probably had slow down before arriving near the village.

 _Ah…so it was a real name._

"Dude, can't believe you stole my turn!" complained Minho.

"Funny, I remember you couldn't bloody wake up this morning and Alvi waking me up and sending me out there." Answered back the runner, full of sarcasms.

"Oww man, don't make me remember. He was damn pissed off at me all day. He made me wash the dishes. The DISHES!" claimed the outraged Minho.

The newcomer started laughing. I observed him with interest. He had an English accent which could have been funny if he wasn't so damn cute. I watched him. Tall and thin, he didn't look strong like Minho, even though he had a good body for a guy of 20ish. Is green eyes were smart which proved me wrong. He was probably a strategist, able to move faster to defend his opponent by knowing his weaknesses from one sight.

He finally realized I was not one of the usual guy around, reporting his attention on me.

I gasped when he stared at me. He definitely was a smart one. I could read that in his gaze. His eyes were analysing me and for a second I got afraid he will see right away who I really was.

So I did what I always did since I woke up, and probably before that.

"Gosh, if you continue you're gonna make me blush!" I teased.

"Ahahahah Newt let me introduce the Greenie! Newt, Midget. Midget, this is Newt." Introduced Minho.

"Wah, what would have we done without you?" I raised my eyes to the sky.

"I'm telling you Dude, I'm keeping this one! Not a day that he's here and he already tried to eat Mark, almost punch Doc, declared he was rotten and the day is not even over!" said an excited Minho.

"You forgot that I almost kill you if I remember how difficult it looked for you to breath in the infirmary when red head was taking you out." I added, helpful.

"Ahahah true!" He said, thumping me hard over the back.

"…Oufff" all the air get away while I was trying to not lose balance, throw away by his slap.

 _Gosh, he's going to break me this one!_ I thought while keeping an eye on Newt. He was smiling at his friend, but it didn't look real, like he already was overthinking.

"That's too early for a new member." Said an heavy voice.

I was almost expecting Newt to say that, but that was actually coming from the other runner who was staring at me, not really in a friendly way. He attracted the attention of the small group that were still next to the door. The silence that answered him show me that they all either felt the same way, either didn't care of what was going to happen to me.

 _Well, nope, not really. Look how focus they are, they are interested to see if you are going to get your ass kicked._

Minho perceived the change in the atmosphere and brutally said to the other runner.

"Oy Gal', that was Alvi job to say if he was cool or not. And he is cool." He said succinctly.

Yeah, not the best lawyer ever, but at least his vehemence were not faked. He really trusted me. Or didn't want his new toy taken away. Well both could keep me safe so, both were ok.

"And here again, you can admire the bloody reason why Minho will never be a boss. He is too good with the details." Joined Newt with a big grin on his face.

His exclamation, and the exclamation of outrage of Minho, made laugh our small audience. It even bring a grin to Gal'.

"Awwww man! I would kill for some smashed potatoes from the cook!" Added Newt while stretching his arms towards the sky.

"Yeah me too! Hey, let's go!" Minho got enthusiast.

"You always are hungry, nothing new here." Commented Newt.

"How dare you!" said Minho, fakely outraged.

Laughing, the crowd started to get away. Gal' was with them, not paying attention to me anymore.

"You're good." I said.

"I'm working on it." Newt commented, arching a brow to look at me, looking interested that I realized that he controlled the group the entire time.

"So what happened to you?" He asked, becoming softer.

"According to someone, I stayed under a tree and admired it while he was falling on me." I quoted Minho.

"Perfectly Minho's!" He laughed., making me join him.

I observed Minho screaming at us, realizing we hadn't actually moved.

"Hey! Weren't you the one who was hungry?" Minho scream to Newt.

We exchanged another look with Newt and started to laugh even harder.

Yeah, that was Minho's.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

After grabbing some sandwiches I had follow Minho and Newt to sit next to the fire, on some carved woods. I voraciously ate my sandwich, not even stopping to wink in pain when my movements were opening the cut on my lips. After making sure that my stomach was filled I sighed while stretching myself.

"Feel better? Dude, you're so small, where do you put all the food?" Said Minho, spitting some food on me.

I punched him lightly in the arm before cleaning my face with the back of my hand.

"That was gross even from you." Added Newt.

I smiled at his remark. There were only the 3 of us and the red hair from before. We were a small group amongst the other. The bigger group was near the hut, with Alvi and Doc'.

Sitting, contempt as much as possible I lost my sight in the fire. I was starting to get really tired. That was a Hell of a day. Unconsciously I knew that tomorrow won't be the same. I have accepted everything pretty easily today, and no need to be a smart ass to get that the chock probably have anesthetized me.

I vaguely listened to Minho, feeling my eyelids growing heavy. Before I closed them, I observed Newt silently leaving us and going to Alvi.

"Hey" I interrupted Minho. "Who is this Newt?" I asked him.

Not feeling disturbed by my intervention, he must been used to it, he answered me.

"One of our best runner except for me and Alvi. But Alvi doesn't run a lot anymore, taking care of the camp." He said succinctly.

Ah so that was the reason he looked like a leader and that people were following him unconsciously

"Well, he also is the second in command after all added Minho" making me realize I talked aloud.

A diffuse feeling of worries grew inside me. If he was the second in command, Alvi were going to tell him about me. I straighten, keeping my intention on him. I didn't hear what they were talking about. Alvi looked at me for a second before entering his hut/tent, followed by Newt.

"Oy, you're ok? You're all white?" asked Minho, concerned.

I almost jumped when Minho put his hand on my shoulder in attempt to get my attention.

"Oh…yah…Just tired I guess." I answered evasively.

I reported my attention on him.

"Well, yeah, it always is the case when a greenie arrive. Come Dude, gonna show you you're bed." He proposed.

I followed him to realize that the mention of bed was outclass.

"You should review the definition of a bed." I said looking with disbelief at the hammock in front of me.

"It's more comfortable that it looks." He said while throwing me a used blanket.

Well it's not like I had a choice. I put myself inside, with some difficulty.

"Dude enjoy your rest. Tomorrow they will probably give you a job." He said.

"Like runner?" I asked.

"Ah no. This one is not for the newbie. You will be more like cleaning the dishes, chopping woods, taking care of the camp." Minho answered.

"Wah, sounds like a dream job." I joked.

He laughed before leaving me.

I was alone in this hut, too early probably, the sun just disappeared after all.

It was still really loud, people all around the hut chatting, laughing with enthusiasm.

 _I will never be able to sleep._

I proved myself wrong almost immediately. I was most exhausted than I expected and fall immediately asleep.

"Wake up!" shouted a powerful voice.

I moaned, trying to turn away from the disturbance.

"I said wake up!"

A sudden shake throw me away of my hammock. I felt on the hard and cold ground. I immediately opened my eyes and, lost, looked for where I was.

My eyes saw a guy standing next to me that didn't ring a bell in my memory. He obviously was the one who made me fall.

"What the hell?!" I shouted while standing to face him, angry.

"Good morning Midget! Time for breakfast and then work!" Said an energetic voice.

"What?" I asked confused.

But already, he was leaving. Puzzled, I looked around.

"That was Nigel. He has the bed next to you." Said a voice.

I turned to face a blondy guy.

 _Ah right, Newt. Fuck, that wasn't a dream._

"Come on. You don't wanna miss the breakfast. The cook is really good trust me!" He added while pushing me out of the hut.

I hadn't a second to think from that moment. Newt was pushing me around, making me eat, showing me where was everything necessary, explaining what I was supposed to do in my new job –taking care of the garden, big enough to feed a horde of hungry men-.

It wasn't until the middle of the afternoon that I was able to have some time to think.

"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be a runner?" I asked him while drinking some long sips of water.

My back was killing me, my arms and legs were threatening me to give me some serious pain tomorrow but I was happy to see that nothing was wrong in my body.

"I am. Runners don't run everyday. We would just exhaust ourselves. There are turns. Today was supposed to be mine but I covered for this bloody idiot yesterday." He stopped. Stretching himself he winced at me, making me smile while he was talking about Minho.

"Make sense I suppose." I commented.

He stopped, looking at me in a strange way.

"You are taking things fairly well since your arrival." He said slowly, judging me.

"Well, except screaming and running to slap my head against the wall –which would not help it- I said showing my bruise, I don't see what else I could do." I commented.

"…Yeah I guess so." He hesitated then smiled again

"But you are probably more mature than I was. I just cropped in a corner, refusing to talk to anyone. It took 2 days to Alvi to make me move. He was bloody pissed off at that time and made me think of an ogre. I was half expecting to see smoke getting out of his head." He laughed at the memory.

I tried to picture Alvi like this, with success.

"Yeah, it would totally fit him!" I said laughing too.

"I know right?!"

"So….when was that?" I finally asked.

"When was what?" he stopped laughing.

"When did you….picture him as an ogre?" I asked hesitantly.

I wanted to say "since you arrive here" but it didn't sounds like a good idea.

He observed me before answering slowly.

"I am here since 4 years I guess." He said. "4 bloody long years." He added for himself, going back to work.

I hadn't anything to add at that, so I focused on my own work.

 _4 years…. I don't wanna stay that long. I have to get out of here._

Yeah, but to go where? Were there anyone looking for me right now? Who send me there? Why? Did I do something wrong and was I punished? If so, what was it? And, who was I? I wondered.

Without clear reason, I was feeling like all of the other trapped here. If we were getting out of here, we will have all of the answers.

 _That is the only hope after all._

But I was a pretty dangerous situation myself. Nobody know who they are. I didn't know neither but was already hiding what I was. It made me remember of yesterday night.

"Hey, what did you talk about with Alvi last evening?" I said, doing my work while focusing discretely my attention on his reaction.

"…Yesterday? Hum nothing special. Just usual talk. Why?" he asked without looking at me.

"Hum? For nothing." I smiled, continuing my work with application.

Nothing he said. But he had frozen for a second when I asked. What did they talk about? Did Alvi told him? Or was I something else? I knew it concerned me, the way Alvi looked at me before leaving with him was a mix of guilt and suspicion. I was really good to read people. Strangely, I knew that despite of not remembering my name.

I doubted it was directly related to my gender. Newt was not the kind of man to treat a girl the same way than a guy. I may have been wrong but my guts were telling me I was right.

 _Then what was it?_

I continued working hard under the sun until the end of the day.

"Pfiou, my body hurts everywhere!" Said Newt.

Too tired to answer, I just positively nodded, before letting me go down, my back under a tree.

"Grab this." He said while throwing me the water.

I gulped the not so cold water with long sips, watching him sitting next to me. Our arms were touching but it was not bothersome. Like a long day of shared pain had made us closer.

"Aaaah, feel alive again. Thanks!" I thanked him.

"Does it still hurts?" He asked pointing at my face.

I passed a hand on my bruises and on the scar on my forehead.

"Not really. I guess the pain on the rest of my body is stronger than this one." I lied.

I was tired and my headache was starting to come back. It was still a diffuse batting on the back of my head, and my face was giving me the impression of wanting to get away of my body and roll on the ground. So nothing I couldn't survive.

"Don't push too much Midget" said Newt, seeing through my lies.

He ruffled my hair softly.

We stayed there, sitting next to each other in silence for quite a while.

Minho finally joined us, just coming back from his run without any news. We chatted all together for a while before going to dinner.

The week passed by, without much changes. Newt was picking me up in the morning and staying with me until the evening. I grew used to his presence next to me. It even was comfortable to be working with him.

I was exhausting myself at work to avoid thinking of who I was and looking for answers. It also helped me to look like I ignored the constant eyes judging me. A small team of guys were very reluctant to my presence here. They were well behaving but always checking on me, like I was some kind of spy.

It could have bother me more, but with the presence of Newt, I didn't gave them a lot of attention. Some decided to focus on other tasks or started to get bored. At the end of the week, only a handful of them were still unfriendly. Minho was in another group but always joining us for dinner. Doc' and Alvi relayed each other to have lunch with us. The red hair –actually called Damien- was joining us time to time. He was friendly and always in for a good joke. Nigel, the one sleeping on the bed next to me was usually joining Newt and I for lunch. Quiet guy, I was still not sure of his personality.

I was starting to do my nest inside the camp. I started to feel more comfortable. Nobody cared I didn't remember a thing, we were all the same. So I could stop worrying about that.

That night should remind me that I was becoming naïve.

 _Empty. I was feeling so empty. No emotions, nothing. Like this room. Dark, without any furniture except for the blanket I was on, in the corner. No windows. Only a close door. Only me. Then an aggressive white light was turned on. It was so bright I filled naked. I wanted to press my head against my knees, to hide from this. But I couldn't move. I knew what was going to happen._

 _The door open._

 _"Subject 13, come with me." Said an emotionless voice._

 _I knew the face of that voice. Tall blond woman, with her hair strictly attached together in a bun._

 _Without being able to protest, I obeyed, automatically. I didn't want to go. No! Not today again! I scream and scream again, but no sounds could get away from my closed lips._

 _And even if I refused to go with her, I was following her. My mind was throwing itself against its own limits, refusing them, trying to get control over my body._

 _"Sit." She ordered without even turning to check if she was obeyed._

 _Of course she was, my body was following every words coming from her._

 _She took a needle, already prepared for me._

 _"Your arm."_

 _*No! No, no no no!* I thought while watching my arm stretching towards her._

 _I watched the needle pierce my skin, next to the amount of already closed holes in my tender skin. I felt the icy product getting mix to my blood…_

 _NOOOO!_

Gasping for air, I stand up. I was all tangled in some blanket. Panicking, my heart beating like crazy in my chest, I frankly struggled against it. Finally I was able to get out. Still frantic I lost balance and fall on the floor. Shaking, I gasped for air, not moving, my hands against my chest.

"Oy, the fuck's happening here?" I heard an half asleep voice asking.

I froze. There were other people. In the dark, I stand up and rushed out of the hut. The cold air of the night slapped me in the face. Without thinking I started to run, running far, far away from this woman. I stormed into the forest, my foot running like the floor was on fire. I ran until I couldn't see the main fire anymore. Then I lost balanced, my foot catching themselves in something on the ground. A sob escaped my lips. I couldn't stop. She would catch me. I stand up but lost balance, my foot refusing to support me. On my knees, I dragged myself until I came against the big wall. I was trapped.

"Noooo…. " I slapped it as hard as I could, again and again.

I didn't stop, like if I was trying to make a hole in this thick wall in order to escape from everything, including my memory.

"Stop!" Some strong arms grabbed my forearms, stopping me from slapping the wall again.

"No, don't touch me, no, no! Let me go!" I screamed.

"Oy bloody calm down." Added the voice.

"No no no!" I struggled to get free.

"Sorry, you don't leave me a choice." Said the voice again.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my cheek. Gasping, I realized that I just got slapped.

By Newt.

Who was now staring at me with worry.

"Newt?" I asked, unsure.

"It's ok. It's ok Midget." He let go of my hands, realizing I came back to my sense.

I started to shake. All my body was shaking. I had no idea if it was from pain, cold or scare. Probably all of that together. Totally lost I didn't know what to do.

I hugged myself as hard as I could, feeling sick.

"It's gonna be ok." He said in a voice full of attention, while rubbing my back.

"You're bloody cold." He added while pushing me in his arms, rubbing me all over.

I relaxed in his embrace. His contact, his smell, that I knew, that I was trusting. I grabbed his shirt, realizing I was crying.

"Newt, I….I…I don't know who I am." I gulped.

"It's ok." He was talking to me like a child having a panic attack, comforting me.

 _Wow, because this is what is happening. A child having a panic attack after a nightmare._ I slapped myself mentally with this thought.

I wanted it to have been a nightmare; I wanted it so badly. But it was not. I remembered the marks on the hollow of my elbow. I had just seen a piece of my past. A memory. The realization made me shiver again. I felt Newt arms grew stronger, hugging me closer to him.

In the same voice, he talked, trying to distract me.

"Do you know the head of Nigel when he came to me, waking me up? He was saying things like the devil kissed you, you got crazy and run like hell in the forest. Fortunately he just woke me and Alvi." He added.

"How…did you…know…where…I was?" I asked, shaking on my words.

"Well, you were not really discreet, destroying everything on your way and just rushing to go straight." He commented with a small smile.

I laughed, small and strange sounds. He didn't let me go and asked me

"So, what scared you almost to death? Did someone tried to hurt you?" he asked, concerned.

"Hum kind of I guess." I answered, still lost in my memory.

"Who?" He said his voice sharp like a sword.

"I don't know. It was….confused. A memory." I explained, feeling his anger on the idea that someone on the camp could have tried to disrespect the rule number one, never hurt each other.

His anger didn't change, making me feel like it was maybe more, maybe he was angry that someone could hurt _me_.

 _Nah, stupid._

I started to feel ashamed. Crying and shivering because of a memory, running away in the middle of the night. Was I just trying to blow away my cover by acting like a cry baby girl?

"I…I am so sorry. I over reacted." I apologized.

"Stop." He said softly, letting go of me he grabbed my shoulders and looked at me.

His gaze was so intense I just shut up.

"There is nothing wrong of being scared. Our situation is….well, bloody bad. And suddenly remembering some seconds of the past we have no idea about, discovering who we may have been…There is nothing to be sorry about. His hand were trembling a bit. I realized he may have felt the same way." He said intensively.

"Did you….did you get some memories back?" I asked him, sincerely moved by his words.

He looked lost for a bit and let go of my shoulders. I suddenly felt really alone.

"Maybe... Anyway, let's go Midget, before you catch a cold." He said, putting some distance between us.

He didn't trust me this way. Not enough to tell me about him. I couldn't blame him. But I felt really sadden by the idea.

"Yeah, sounds a good idea." I lied.

We stand up. I bit the inside of my cheek under the pain. I had hurt my foot while running barefoot across the forest. Not my best shot on that. I did my best to follow up with him.

"You're bloody bleeding!" He realized after a few meters. "Why the bloody hell didn't you say anything?!" He scream at me.

"It's not that bad, I'm fine." I didn't want to look even more girly. I had to take it like a man0

"You're bloody not! Get on my back!" he ordered.

"Excuse me?" I asked, dumfounded.

"Get on my back!" he repeated.

"I told you I am fine!" I said.

"And I bloody told you to get on my back so you are bloody going to do so!" he shouted.

I stared at him and then it was too much. I started to laugh, harder and harder. Confused, he stared at me like if I was losing it. Which was probably right.

"I'm fine, it's just, all of that. This is comical." I explained.

He stared at me, standing barefoot after running away, in the middle of the forest and him screaming at me. And then he started to laugh too, joining me, laughing our ass off in the middle of the forest.

We finally calmed down and I accepted his support. He stand on my left, I was grabbing his left arms while his right one was around my hips, supporting most of my weight. I was able to enjoy his warmth and even the pain couldn't get my attention away.

We finally arrived back at the camp where Alvi was waiting for us. Without a word he went to find the Doc' while Newt was taking me to the infirmary.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A grumpy Doc' was staring at me.

"Lad, you have a lot of courage to come to me twice in the same week." He threatened me.

"I knew you missed me." I winked at him, making him smile.

"Ah, I can't refuse anything to you young one!" He sighed.

I smiled. Doc' was far too nice to scare me. I glimpsed at Newt. He was standing next to the door, talking to Alvi, explaining what happened to me.

I still could fell his warmth on my hips.

I turned my attention to Doc, feeling my cheek grew hotter.

"Someone has to explain to me why you think you have to open yourself to the bones to come to me." Doc' grumbled while taking a bucket filled of water.

"Ouch!" I said when he applied some on my foot.

"This will took away all the dust, then I will be able to apply some cream to make sure it heals properly. But you won't be able to walk tomorrow. Understand?" Doc' scolded me, daring me to oppose him even for a second.

"Yes Boss!" I reacted, obedient.

He sighed and continued taking care of my foot, making me protest time to time.

"Ok, sounds like everything is done. Midget, be more careful next time you wanna take a run in the middle of the night. You can stay here tomorrow. You'll help Doc in whatever you can without moving around." Said Alvi in a tired voice.

"Understand." I said. He wouldn't accept apologies, the best I could do was to obey to him.

He arched an eye brown at my sudden obedience but didn't pick up.

"Ok time for me to go back to sleep!" Alvi said before disappearing.

"You can sleep here lad. Better than moving you around." Said Doc', giving me a blanket.

"Wait!" He got stopped by Newt.

"You should have a look at his ribs. I guess he got hurt before, I felt his bandage on his chest before. Would be better to check everything is ok." Newt asked Doc'.

I felt my breath getting blocked in my throat while Doc' looked at me in the same way.

 _God….he doesn't know._ I felt relieved knowing that Alvi didn't break his promise, but a tiny part of me felt like I would have prefer him to know that I was a girl.

"Nah, it's fine, thanks Newt." I answered.

"Come on. The bandage are pretty thick and you ran like crazy. It could have moved" he crossed his arm on his chest, making clear he wouldn't change his mind.

I didn't know what to say anymore. Lost, I looked at Doc'.

"Thank you Newt, I will have a look tomorrow with better light." Saved Doc'.

I breathed again.

 _"_ But for now it's ok, he just needs more sleep." Concluded Doc' before leaving us.

 _Wow that was awkward_ I was feeling a bit shy around Newt after bringing this topic.

I observed him puzzled, moving around the room, with a tranquil and powerful step.

"You should go grab some sleep before the sun is up." I said

"Yeah, I agree." He looked like he found what he was looking for and he grab a blanket before coming on the bed of fortune next to me.

"Euh…..Newt?" I asked, getting more and more puzzled.

"What?" he answered without looking at me, still busy doing a bed.

"You know you're bed is not here right?" I asked, wondering if he hurt his head somewhere.

"You're trying to be funny?" he answered dryly at my joke.

"Is it that obvious?" I complained.

He smiled before sitting with a sight on his bed and taking off one shoes. He stopped and looked at me.

"I am taking off my shoes." He explained, answering my questioning look.

"Thanks, I saw that!"

"Don't rush out like crazy again, or at least give me some time to put them on again." He added.

"Ohhhh shut up!" I threw him my pillow.

He laughed while catching it.

"I prefer seeing you like that, Midget." He completed.

He threw back the pillow. I felt my cheeks turn pink so I let it slap my face. Perfect excuse. He gently blow away the candle. I waited for my eyes to get used to the darkness and I observed him lie down, an arm behind his neck, watching the ceiling.

I lie down, on my side, my face toward him.

"Newt…. " I said softly.

"Hum?"

"Thank you." I murmured.

He turned his face, his eyes looking for mine, gleaming in the darkness.

"No problem. I love jogging in the woods in the middle of the night." He joked.

I smiled and said.

"Not only for tonight. Since I arrived, you stayed with me and took care of me. Thank you for all of that." I added.

I observed his face freezing. He turns to look at the ceiling again.

"You shouldn't be." He said gently.

There were some guilt in his voice that stopped me to ask what he meant.

The silence grew deeper between us. It was not really comfortable this time, his last words pending in the air.

"Midget…You should eat more. You are way too thin for a guy of our age." He broke the silence.

"….Oh…Yeah … trying my best." I said, turning to face the other way.

I started to dislike lying to him.

"Hey, you're ok?" Newt asked.

I heard the sound of him sitting up in his bed.

"Yeah, no worries." I murmured.

"If your foot hurt, tell me. I will go find Doc'." He proposed.

"Ahahah to get killed?" I joked.

"I am bloody serious here." He reprimanded me.

"Yeah I know, sorry. I'm fine, just tired." I apologized.

He calmed down.

"Your memories…".he started. "Never mind."

I took a breath.

"I don't know. They didn't really make any sense. I just remembered the sensation of an old routine." I explained awkwardly.

"Sounded like a bad one to react this way." He commented.

"….it was." I just answered.

"…You know, my memories were not that good neither." He silently added.

I stayed silent. I wanted to ask him more but he made it clear before he didn't want to open up about it. I continued to lie down, silently staring at the wall.

"I … I don't like talking about them." He apologized.

"It's fine. I understand." I lied.

"No. What I mean is that I don't like talking about them with anyone. They are not good memories, and not useful at all. I don't understand them and that is bloody scary. But…yeah….what I mean is that it is not because it is you or that I don't trust you." He explained.

Oh, I was not the only one able to read others pretty well. He had observed me and read on my face my reaction when he rejected me before. I smiled, happy that his words were actually not rejecting me.

"Newt, I got it…Thanks." I said, feeling unconsciously that he was still trying to find the right words to say.

He sighed.

"This is easy to talk to you. I forgot how it felt to be so comfortable with someone." He commented, looking surprised.

 _Yeah, me too_ is what I wanted to answer. But I couldn't. I was lying to him. He was trusting me that is why he felt comfortable. How would he felt if he knew I was lying to him? He should never knew!

I let the silence come between us. I was listening to his breath becoming slow and steady before trying to relax. I turn to be on my back, wondering how I was supposed to get to sleep?

"Can't sleep?" he broke the silence.

"WAH!" I jumped in surprise not expecting him to talk. "I thought you were sleeping! Don't scare me like that!"

He smiled.

"Here." He offered.

Hesitantly, he extanded his hand toward me.

"Here what?" I asked in disbelief.

"They say that contact with others scare the bad spirits, sad memories or bad dreams." He justified himself.

"Really?" I said, not thinking of anything else, trying to calm my heartbeat who became irregular.

"You don't have to." He said pulling away slowly.

"No! No I want to!" I quickly reached out and grabbed his hand.

He laughed before squeezing my hand lightly.

"Good night Midget."

"…Good night. Newt." I answered.

The warmth and strength of his big hand wrapping mine was comforting and disturbing at the same time, all my attention was focused to it. I throw a glance at him. His other hand was still behind his neck, his eyes were closed and he looked like he already was asleep. His face was relaxed and his thin lips stretched in this small smile that I grew to like.

 _Wow!_ I turned back my face toward the ceiling.

 _What the hell are you thinking?! You're a guy, a guy a guy A GUY! No feelings, no fast heartbeat, no butterfly, no dreams! Stop it you crazy girl!_

That was definitely not the moment to start to have feelings for Newt, in the middle of this camp, not knowing who I was. I put some reason into me. When I got sure that I was not thinking of anything strange, I closed my eyes, looking for sleep.

Even if the warmth against the skin of my hand was the only thing I focused on.

I woke up in the morning to find I was alone.

"I made him go to work." Said Doc'.

"'morning." I saluted him.

"Morning Lad." answered Doc' while giving me a sandwich

"Let me have a look at this foot." He added.

"Thank you for yesterday." I said.

He sat next to me, observing my foot. Grabbing some cream he put it on.

"You should be more careful with your body lad. Woman have tender skin." He reprimanded me.

I grimaced at his words, not being comfortable being remembered of my gender.

"Also, …. Well … Does Newt know?" Doc's asked, uncomfortably.

I looked at him in surprise.

"Come on, it is easy to see he is special to you after yesterday evening." He added.

I blushed remembering our hands joint all night, his warmth, his smell.

"N…no he doesn't know. And he can't know! Please." I begged him.

He pat me on the shoulder.

"Calm down, I won't tell him anything. But you should keep some distance with him if you don't want him to realize. He already found out for the bandages." Doc' analysed.

I kept silence. He was right. However I didn't want to put any distance with him. He probably read my face.

"Don't think about that too much. Just be more careful if you don't wanna him to figure out." He sighted.

"…yeah I will." I promised.

He sighed.

"We are in a pretty messed up place. It doesn't mean you have to stop living you know that Lad? Newt is a good guy, if you explain to him, he will understand." Doc' said.

"It will only hurt him." I said, stubborned.

"But won't that hurt him more if he found out by someone else or by himself?" asked Doc' with wisdom.

I didn't have anything to answer that. Doc' pat me on the head and then kept me busy all day long, preparing some crème, potion or whatever he was calling it to be able to treat wounds, headache, stomach ache, ect.

I didn't see Newt all day.

At the end of the afternoon, Doc' checked my foot and bandaged them before allowing me to put my shoes back.

"You can walk but don't push it, I don't want it to get infected. Apply this lotion every morning and evening, to keep them cicatrising. And come to me if you have any pains or if they start bleeding again." Doc' ordered me like a mother.

"Yes Mom!" I answered, raising my eyes to the sky.

"No joke young lad! You better behave if you don't want me to come check on you every hour." He answered.

"Ok ok I got it! I will do so!" I laughed at his threat.

"Ahhh sounds like someone is feeling better here!" Interrupted a voice with strong British accent.

I turn my face to see without surprise Newt, leaning against the doorframe, with a big smile on his face. I controlled my heartbeat when I remembered the night before.

"Hi Newt, what's up?" I tried to ask nonchalantly.

According to the look on Doc's face, he didn't buy it. Newt didn't look like he minded.

"Nothing much, just checking on the sick." Newt answered with a teasing smile.

"And ditching! Dude you were supposed to be helping me with the dishes today!" Interrupted a new voice.

"Minho! I'm sure you preferred doing them all by yourself." I teased the newcomer, feeling relieved that Newt was not alone.

"You wish! Next time, you do my part too!" Minho ordered me.

"Ahahah not even in your dreams!" I answered.

Newt was looking at me. I could felt it, but I didn't respond to his gaze.

"Hey I am so hungry I could eat you! Let's go grab dinner!" I said with too much energy.

"Ahahah, I see that the ogre in you is back! Let's go Midget!" exclaimed Minho, enthusiast to the idea of food.

I started to stand up when Doc' remind me

"Don't go around, just straight to the cafeteria then back to sleep. That is the only walk allowed for today." Doc' ordered, seious.

"Yes boss!" I promised.

I smiled and left my bed, happy to be able to move again.

"Wah, watching your energy, you look like you stayed there forever!" Joked Minho.

"I don't really like being in close and small place, that's all." I answered evasively, surprised how right he was.

"You sure you're feeling better?" Asked Newt on my left with worry.

"Yeah, Doc' is a magician!" I answered, jumping around to prove myself.

Not a smart move, but I wanted to get rid of the strange feeling in my stomach. So jumping around like I was getting ride of dust was the only thing I could think of.

"Ola!" exclaimed Newt while grabbing my forearm to stabilize me.

"Ok I trust you, don't do that again!" Newt added, his hand firmly stopping me.

I felt a rush of blood going to my face. I free myself of his grip a bit too fast. He looked at me in a strange way, probably surprised by my unusual move.

"I am ok, I swear! Now let's go grab some diner!" I changed the subject, still trying to avoid his gaze.

I didn't want to hurt him but the more he was staying close to me, the more chance there was. Also, I was worried of the sensation I had every time he was touching me or taking care of me.

Sitting on a piece of wood, next to a small fire I was eating my smashed potatoes with energy, joking around with Minho. Nigel came over, joining us.

"Oy you're ok?" asked my "roommate".

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that Nigel. Bad sleep yesterday." I said evasively.

"No problem. But you scare the death out of me when you run like someone was chasing you." Answered Nigel with relieve.

"…yeah, bad dream." I concluded.

"But good god, you are quite a speedy!" added Nigel with admiration.

"…ahah really. Guess so." I answered, trying to make the topic die.

"Ohhh you're fast?" asked Minho with interest.

"Hey! Look at that! The cook looks like he has some second." Said a guy sitting next to us, giving me the perfect escape.

"Seriously?" answered another.

"What? Dips!" Minho run to the cook, followed by Nigel.

I sighted, happy that I won't have to talk about yesterday anymore.

"Hey Midget…."started Newt

I realized that we were alone next to this fire, all the other guys eating on the others ones, by small group.

"You're acting…strange." Newt added with concern.

"No, not really!" I defended myself, not eager to have him focusing too much until I regained composure from what was happening inside me.

 _Shit, answered way too fast to be innocent._ I slapped myself mentally.

"If … I mean for yesterday….I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable you know." Started Newt, awkwardly.

"Oh, no I know. No worries, we are good!" I rushed to answer.

"I thought about it and it could have look … well awkward. But I meant it as a friend. I didn't …. I was not hitting on you or anything!" He said, all red.

Surprised, I looked at him. Oh yeah, I was a man on his eyes. So he probably thought I was uncomfortable because men don't usually do this kind of stuff to each other, holding hands, hugging.

"There are all this bloody rumours around here, but I'm not one of them. I am not attracted to you in anyway. I just wanted to comfort you as your friend." He tried to explain. Words seemed to defeat him.

That was what I wanted. But it actually hurts more than I expected now that he was telling it.

Not hearing any answers, Newt looked at me. He read my face and frowned.

"Midget…." He said softly.

"Hey Dude! That's not fair! You got more than I!" Minho sit loudly next to me.

"Ahahah, you should have been acting happier do the dishes last time man!" answered Nigel, happy.

"Man, can you believe that Newt?!" wined Minho.

Newt was still watching me but the scream for attention from Minho forced him to look at his friend. Nigel join them in a discussion about the preferences of the cook –well to be honest it was more Minho and him talking on each side of Newt. I used their unconscious back up to leave without making a noise. I gave my plate back to the cook and went for my hut.

Oh I needed to focus. I don't know what Newt saw on my face but it was bad. I didn't control myself back there. Hopefully he will have forgotten tomorrow. But I knew inside it won't be the case. He was a smart one.

"Oh God!" I said softly to the silent and empty hut.

I was in serious trouble. I really liked Newt and that was not something that will turn out good, I could feel it. I tried to think of a solution, any solutions. The only way out was to get the hell out of here. But didn't look like something that could happen anytime soon.

I was still looking for a solution when I fall asleep.

The following morning found me grumpy, not having been able to figure out something. The only temporary solution was to avoid him like crazy. For once the goods were with me. Newt was running today. I took care of the dishes and of helping the cooks for lunch and to prepare dinner. When I finally saw him again, it was late afternoon. I observed him arriving from his run, his tee shirt glue on him because of the sweat. He was next to the heavy doors, far from me. I am pretty sure I met his gaze, but quickly went out to help in the kitchen even if I was not on duty.

"Hey you should go grab something to eat." Said Frypan, the cook.

He was all jelly and maturing, but was the king in the kitchen.

"It's ok, I'll grab something later. I need to finish these dishes." I answered automatically, grateful to keep my mind too busy to think.

"Ok, I'm going to eat something. I leave you the dishes then." Answered Frypan.

"Ok Frypan."

"Thank you Midget!" he said, grateful to be able to have some time for him.

It shouldn't be easy to be the cook for so many guys, especially that most of us were like Minho, having a black hole instead of a stomach.

He left, leaving me alone in the kitchen. That is what I wanted. I could focus on the dishes without having to think of anything else. Yes I was a coward so what?

For once, I stayed up pretty late, taking my time with my work. The majority of the others must already be sleeping. I stretched myself, repressing a yawn.

"You work pretty late." Echoed a voice in the silence.

"Wah!" I jumped in surprise and turned to face Newt.

"God you have to stop doing that! Appearing from nowhere to scare people is going to make me die young!" I protested, a hand on my heart to calm it.

"I was not really trying to hide my presence but you looked lost in your thoughts." He analysed.

"Hummm." Was the only answer I could manage, considering that my thoughts were about him.

I turned back to focus on the rest of the dishes.

"So? If you're looking for Frypan, he already went away." I said, a bit dryly.

"Well I actually was looking for you." He said coming closer.

"For me? Did you miss me or something?" I tried to keep my voice from trembling by trying a stupid joke.

"Of course." He answered naturally.

His answer took me by surprise and I turn to face him, mouth wild open.

"What? You're a funny person to hang out around." He answered honestly.

I took a deep breath.

"Fuck, you really are going to kill me!" I mumbled.

I threw him a wiper.

"Since you're here, a little help would be welcome." I added in a louder voice.

In silence, he joined me, helping me to finish. There was something comforting by working next to him, both focused on the same thing, no strange discussion, just the two of us. I smiled at the thoughts.

"What?" He asked,

"Nothing." I answered.

He smiled too. We finished working and cleaning the kitchen.

Stretching myself, I followed him out of the hut.

"Thank for your help," I said, actually grateful to be done with the work.

"No prob', anytime Midget." He pat my head before going to the hut he was sharing with 4 others.

I put my hand on my head while looking at his back. Yes, I was seriously going to have to work on my feelings. He was going to be the death of me.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The following day I was taking care of the garden with Newt. The atmosphere between us was different from before. We were trusting each other. We also knew how the other was working so were starting to be faster and more efficient.

"It is starting to get bloody hot again." Newt said while I was drinking long gulp of water.

"Agree" I answered, more to do the conversation than actually feeling the hot weather.

I threw him the water.

"Ahhh don't agree. You look like you don't feel the hot at all, you almost not sweating!" he complained to me.

"Actually I love this weather. The sun feels so good!" I said before stretching and closing my eyes to face the sun.

"Ahhh you are a strange one!" He joked.

"Coming from you, I'm not really sure if it is a compliment or not." I looked at him, suspiciously.

"Of course it is!" Newt said taking an offended air, a hand over his heart.

"Can't believe you don't trust me." He added.

I laughed before grabbing my shovel. Before I could start to work again, a strange sounds stopped me. It was loud and coming from the middle of the camp.

"What is….?" I asked Newt who was turning white

"It's the elevator. The one we all arrived from." He simply answered, not focusing on me at all anymore.

He moved toward it. I followed him, realizing that everyone was already gathering there.

He stayed on the outside of the circle that was already formed around the elevator's door on the ground. Alvi was already facing them.

The sounds finally stopped and some guys opened the door. Alvi looked inside.

"Get him." Ordered Alvi to one of the guy who opened the door.

When he raised his face I saw him glimpsing at me before looking at Newt. They had a silent conversation. I threw a glimpse at Newt.

"Hey, what's happening?" I whispered.

He didn't answer me. The guy who had jump in the elevator was climbing back. He was followed by another one. He was small but strongly built, black hair cut short. He looked way older than us, in his mid twenties maybe? He looked confused.

"That's going to complicate things." Newt murmured.

I looked puzzly at him but he ignored me again.

"Hey that's a newcomer!" exclaimed someone from the crowd.

"Already?" asked another one.

"Well not really, he was supposed to arrive today. Wasn't he?" answered a third one.

"What? No you're wrong." Commented the first one.

"Wait I guess it's true." Said a surprised voice.

The group was starting to murmur.

"That's the previous newbie who didn't arrive at the good time." Someone else commented, less friendly.

"The Midget, always with Newt, remember?" whispered someone in front of me.

Oh, so that was he meant. I stiffed. The group was not aggressive, but the ones close to me were already putting some distance in a discreet way. I didn't look at them, I tried to look like I was focusing on the new guy. The way he was moving, observing around…he looked like he was looking for someone. He saw the movements of people and his attention got on me. He focused on me and only me. He _knew_ me. It happened for only a couple of second but I was sure of that. I needed to talk to him. I started to move forward but Alvi asked him to follow him and Doc'. They were going to check him like they did to me I guess.

 _How was that possible? How could he know me?_ I didn't get a clear catch of his face, but even if I had, I doubt I would have remember him. I mean I forgot everything. And I was not looking for him.

After all he just arrived, having forgot everything, it is just impossible that he was looking for someone here. I was starting to get paranoid. I breathed.

"He was just lost and he probably was looking for a face that looks friendly and not too threatening." I thought

"I'm not sure about the friendly face, but it's true you don't look threatening." Answered Newt.

"The Hell?! Can you read minds now?" I looked at him, shocked.

He laughed.

"Unfortunately not. You were kind of aloud when you were wondering what the new guy was looking for." He answered, amused.

I hit him lightly on the arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Newt said, rubbing the spot I had just hit.

"For saying I'm not friendly face!" I answered him, joking around.

Having nothing else we could do, we went back to work.

It was really hard to get focus on work. Especially because I could that the people around me were checking on me. I tried to forget about them and to think only about what I was supposed to do.

"Hey … you remember that we are not supposed to try to dig a hole, just to take care of the bad herbs?" Asked me Newt.

"Hein?" was my only answer.

I looked at my work. Well … "destruction" would be more accurate. I did a hole bigger than a plate.

"What….a swimming pool would be nice, wouldn't it?" I tried without big hope to cover it up.

"Hummmm maybe not in the kitchen garden." Commented Newt.

"Ah…right…didn't think of that." I sighed.

"…."

I went ahead and this time tried to focus on doing something smart, not to try to kill the growing vegetables.

A couple of hours after, red hair –alias Damien- came to get us.

"Alvi is asking for you guys." He said to Newt and I.

I looked at Newt surprised. Newt, I understand, but why me?

He shrugged, as puzzled as I was. We followed Damien to the big hut in the middle of the camp.

We arrived inside to face a tired Alvi, sitting on the stage at the end of the hut.

"That bad hein?" Asked Newt.

"We have to convene the camp." Answered Alvi.

"Yeah, I felt it in the atmosphere." Commented Newt, rubbing his face.

"There is still chance is not that bad."Alvi tried to say optimistically.

"Yeah, it's not like we were in a bloody Hell already." Commented Newt.

Alvi smiled at Newt words.

"What do you, mean convening the camp?" I asked, tired of being ignored.

Newt answered for Alvi.

"It has been 5 years that every month a new man is send to the camp by the elevator. 5 years that we always arrive on the day of the full moon."

"So….what?" I asked, feeling dumb but still not getting his point.

"Today is the full moon." Answered Newt patiently.

In front of my absence of reaction, he continued.

"You arrived 10 days ago, before the moon got full."

I finally got it.

"….And my arrival broke 5 years of traditions. I got that part. But so what? It is not like there were a guide book anywhere right?"

Newt passed a hand on is face before facing me, all smile away from his face.

"The new guy arrived as usual. You are not the one they were supposed to send. So everyone is wondering who you are." He said simply.

I snapped.

"Ahhhhhh I was wondering when I would got the "spy" talk again." I aggressed him, upset that he was facing me like that.

"Midget! This is serious talk! It has been 10 days you are here but you still don't remember your bloody name." Newt answered, loosing his composure.

I stepped back on his words. It is true that all the boy of the camp remembered their name from 1 to 7 days after their arrival. It was my 10th day here and I had no idea.

I didn't tell Newt about my dream, about the feeling of acceptation that "subject 13" was the only name I ever had. He couldn't know how deep it was scaring me.

He hesitated, looking like he realized he had gone too far. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but Alvi cut him.

"Enough. This is an issue but we do not consider or think of you as a spy." Alvi said.

Refusing to look at Newt, I realized how upset I was at him. I was upset that he said that. I was upset he could have consider even one second I was lying to them. And I was even more upset because he was right in a way. I was not a spy but I never told him the truth about me. And more than that, I was upset at myself to not come clean to him that instant.

 _I am a coward._ I realized.

"But the camp is back on the same track that they were at your arrival." Alvi continued.

"Majority of us accepted you but some will restart the debate and they may easily change minds." Added Newt.

I sighted.

"Yeap, can see the picture. So, what's going to happen?" I asked, already tired.

"I don't know." Admitted Alvi.

"Of course we will be with you Midget." Answered Newt at the same time with vehemence.

I looked at him in surprise.

"Of course Midget, you're bloody one of us after all!" Newt smiled at me.

I smiled back at him, it was contagious. There were no other option in front of his warmth and confidence.

"Of course I am!" I punched him in the arm to hide my embarrassment.

Alvi sighed.

"Good grief, it looks like I'm the only one who gets worried down here." Alvi commented.

He stood up.

"Ok, Newt call the camp. Tonight we are going to officially introduce our two newcomers." Concluded Alvi, clapping his hands together.

A couple of hours after that, I was back inside the hut, sitting in front of the stage. This time, it was full of young men and a big fire was burning in the middle of the stage.

Minho was sitting next to me, all excited by the event.

"So you see, that happens every month to welcome the newbie. Well, the two of you today. You'll see, the ceremony is pretty cool." Minho was so enthusiast that I almost forgot that it could turn in a bad way. Almost.

"Look, It's going to start!" He said while slamming hard his elbow in my stomach.

"….Ouch!" I hit him on the shoulder before focusing my attention on Alvi, advancing on the stage.

An excited silence filled he hut while everyone was watching him.

"Tonight, the moon is full again." Alvi started with the fluency of a repeated speech.

With his tenor voice, I could feel the excitation starting to build up, looking forward to every words he would say0

"The moon is full!" Scream the mass of people, echoing his words, making me jump on my sit.

"Tonight is our night! Tonight is the night of the camp!" shouted Alvi.

Excited scream answered him, making my hair stand on my arms. The excitation was contagious and I had a hard time trying to keep it away. I needed to stay focus. I remembered the exchange and concern in the eyes of Alvi. Even if that seems to be far away of him tonight.

"Brothers, tonight we become bigger! Our camp is expending!" claimed Alvi again.

"Yeaaah!" answered a massive crowd.

He did a short pause and throw me a glance.

 _This is the unusual part I guess._

I carefully watched around me. For the moment, I only read wild excitation on the faces surrounding me. But I also noticed that the sit next to me had stay empty.

"Greenies, take a step forward." Ordered Alvi without hesitation.

I looked at him. That was it. With a deep breath I stand up. Silence filled the room. Without turning back, I walked toward Alvi on the stage. On the other side of the stage, I saw the other greenie who arrived this afternoon. He looked a bit groggy, walking heavily toward Alvi, his face looking at the floor, hidden behind his mid long hair. He finally stopped in front of Alvi and I reported my attention to the boss of the camp.

"You who have arrived, you are our new brothers. We may not share the same blood but here everyone is part of the same family." Pronounced Alvi.

"Wait, you are not going to welcome both of them?!" Screamed a voice from behind.

I didn't flinch, didn't move an inch.

"Gal…." said Alvi in a voice that was all but welcoming.

"Come on! This is no surprise isn't it? The Hell is happening here! This one was not supposed to be here!" Said the same angry voice.

I didn't have to turn on my feet to recognize the owner of this voice.

He was the guy who jumped in the cage when I arrived, the one that I bite. His voice was the same full of anger than 10 days ago. Since then, I hadn't try to get next to him, feeling his dislike on me. I had hoped it would pass him.

 _Yeah, sounds like an awesome plan! Look how well it worked out!_

Oblivious of my internal monologue, Gal was keeping talking.

"Alvi for God sake! You know it as well as I do! They always send one person, every full moon. This one shouldn't be here!" Gal shouted.

He was certain of himself, I felt it; And I was not the only one, according to the murmurs of the crowd.

Alvi raised a hand toward Gal.

"If you are so certain he was not supposed to be here, that he is not one of us, what proof do you have?" questioned Alvi.

"He didn't arrive when he was supposed to!" answered gal.

"So what?" asked Alvi simply.

"…. " Gal let a confuse silence answer for him.

"Does any of you here, have a clear schedule, given by them, the ones who send us here?" Alvi added.

I recognized these words, they were more or less what I told him this afternoon.

"That is how it was for 5 years!" Gal finally found his voice back.

"And for 10 to 15 years our life was different!" Shouted Alvi.

Everyone shut up and listened to him.

"Do I have to remind you that the enemy is not inside?" Alvi deep voice was echoing in the hut

"The enemy are the one who took us away from our life, who threw us here, parked to survive like animals, struggling to find an exit." He kept going.

If I could have turn around, I would have read the sadness on the face of the guys around, probably echoing the one I saw in Alvi eyes.

"I don't know why we are here, who we are. But one thing is sure. All the people you see here are the only one you know. The only one that will stand next to you." Alvi stopped, watching everyone.

"I don't wanna act suspicious for any of us. If we start like this, what will we have at the end? No memories, and no one to create new ones."

His last words stayed in suspension in the air for what looked like eternity, finding their way to everyone hearts, saying aloud their darkness scare.

The silence kept going on. Even I, who just arrived 10 days ago, was chocked by his words. Chocked by the truth behind them.

"Welcome to our new members!" Scream a voice from the crowed. I almost turn toward it, recognizing the English accent of Newt.

"Welcome to our new member." echoed a voice I recognized as Minho's.

"Welcome!" Repeated some enthusiasts.

"Welcome!" Repeated Alvi, putting his hands on our shoulders.

I turn back toward the other guys, pushed by him, at the same time than the other guy.

"Now time to celebrate! This night is ours!" Screamed Alvi.

This time, the answer from everyone else was more joyful and enthusiast. The other guys started to stand up, moving towards some buffet everywhere in the corners.

I watched them. At the same time, I took a pick on the new guy next to me. I could see his profile. He was already observing me.

"Crazy night hein?" He said with a grin.

"Yeah,…." I answered, not really comfortable.

His smile were not going to his eyes. These last ones sounded really cold. But who could blame him after a day like this?

"People here are not that bad." I said, trying to make a conversation.

He just smiled at me.

"I would like to introduce myself, but I can't remember my name. Call me spider."

"I'm Midget then." I said, trying to look friendly.

"Why spider?" I asked while watching Minho waving at me from the buffet.

He seriously looked like he wanted me to try one of the things there.

"Because of that." The new guy answered me while showing me his right wrist.

I could observe a black spider tattooed on his skin. It was covering all his inner wrist, so detailed it looked like it was going to move from any seconds.

I couldn't get my eyes away.

 _Sitting on a cold chair. A white room, nude of anything. Nothing inside, no windows, no hope. There was only me sitting on this used padded leather chair, the clinical table, the plates full of different needles and icy products. Nothing else except the cold within the room. Or was it inside my veins? Even deeper, inside my bones. But even through this cold, I could feel the sweat on my forehead, some drops on my upper lips. I couldn't move, immobile under the piercing light. The only thing I could observe with my blurry vision was a black spider. It was going to devour me. It was going to put its venom in my blood. Again. And again. And again. It will ignore my quiet tears….no actually….it would enjoy it like a kid eating a lollipops right before dinner. When he shouldn't and this idea makes it even better._

 _"I don't want to do that neither you know." Lied the spider._

 _I could see the smile on its lips, ear the pleasure in its voice, see the anticipation in its accelerated gesture while it was carefully picking up one needle among the others._

 _I wanted to throw up but I couldn't even do that._

 _"You will see, it won't be that difficult."_

 _I could hear the satisfaction in the spider voice. It was taking pleasure of seeing me scared, unable to defend myself. I could feel its excitation to hurt me again, to see me scared but unable to defend myself and to resist it._

 _*No, don't look scared, don't make it happy* I thought trying to push myself, to resist._

 _But I knew what was coming. I couldn't control it._

 _The spider came closer, feeling my terror like a shark smells blood._

 _"It will be over soon."_

 _A lie again._

 _The spider's needle get under my skin, pushing the icy product in my veins…_

"Hey, you're ok?" asked a voice.

"…."

I realized I was still inside the hut, talking to the new guy.

"Yeah…sorry….too hot inside." I lied.

I needed to get out of there. Woobling, I stepped back, looking for an exit.

"Hey, do you need some help?" He asked again, concerned.

I shook my hand.

"Nah, I'm fine…just too hot." I answered, having difficulties to form sentences.

Without waiting for him to come back to me, I speed toward the exit, ignoring the ones who were trying to talk to me.

Finally I was able to step outside. I kept walking, putting some distance between the main hut and me. In the darkness I kept walking toward the high tower. I thought you had to be willing to die to even think of climbing that. I was wrong. You also could have run away feeling to be able to climb it.

I started to climb the old ladder, making it to the first floor.

 _Still 2 to go!_ I encouraged myself.

This exercise was good. Having to keep focus allowed me to stop thinking. I finally made it to the last floor.

Breathing hard, I stand up. It was not that high, I still couldn't see behind the walls. But I was able to see above the top of the trees of the camp.

"Still not high enough, hein." I said to the night.

I lied down, watching the stars.

This memory was not really making any sense. However, according to my shivering body, it remembered it or believed in it for real. I hugged myself, looking at the sky.

"Midget!" Shouted a voice from downstairs.

I was too tired to move or answer to Newt. I stayed, immobile, lost in my thoughts.

I heard the protestation of the ladder supporting his weight to come up here.

He finally arrived to the last floor, where I was.

Without talking, he joined me on the floor, watching the stars.

I could feel his body warmth from where I was. I knew that if I move my hand from one inch, I will find his.

"You will have to explain to me sometime, why you like running away when nobody expect you too." He said softly

"I was not running." I protested

"Hmmm not sure that the expression "walked away liked if you saw a bloody ghost" is in the dictionary yet." Newt joked.

"….I saw a spider." I answered, opting for a lie which wasn't really one.

"A…bloody spider?" Newt repeated, surprised.

"What, does anyone like spiders?" I answered, evasively.

He laughed. His laugh made me realize that I was calm down since the instant I heard him calling for me. I waited for the silence to come back.

"I had a flash back." I finally said the truth.

"Hum…" he said, encouraging me to say more without wanting to push me.

"I don't think I have a past." I said, confiding him my biggest worry.

He stayed silent but I could feel his gaze on me.

"We all have one." He answered softly.

"I mean, of course I have one. I don't think I have anywhere I wanna go back to." I tried to explain.

"…"

I sighted. I was starting to get upset, not knowing how to describe the feeling that was growing on me. Newt said nothing, letting me organize my thoughts.

Feeling I was not going to keep talking, he said

"It's ok, you have us now. We are your present and probably your future." He said with a smile.

"That would be nice." I answered sincerely.

But I knew it was not going to happen. I was not one of them. And if my memories were correct, I was from nowhere, I was just a guinea pig.

I wanted to tell him. I really wanted to tell him who I was. And naively, was hopping that he will tell me he understood. That everything will be ok, that he knew I was a girl and that he accepted it.

The temptation of telling him everything was so strong but I was scared of his rejection. More than I should have been.

"I am not who you think I am." I finally said.

His gaze was back on me.

"What do you mean?" He asked when I didn't keep going on.

What did I mean?

 _I am a bloody girl. Oh and also a freak who spend her past in a cage being used for experiments_ I tried to answer in my head.

"You shouldn't get close to me." I finally added.

I didn't look at him, but I could feel his body freezing a bit.

"What did you remember exactly?" Newt asked.

Surprisingly I didn't hear any suspicion in his voice. He was not thinking that I was a spy, or send for another reason than the rest of them. I guess I was hoping for it. It would have make it easier to keep him away without having to tell him everything.

"A name, and …. Some other…memories." I answered.

"Tell me." He asked

His voice was so serious, I had to look at him. His eyes were fixed on mine, observing me without even judging me. I couldn't avoid his gaze.

"They….they were calling me subject 13." I said with difficulty.

"I was in…. some kind of laboratories. It was cold. So very cold... It was when I was few year younger. And then maybe some month younger. I don't know how many years, but they were testing some…stuff on me. It was painful. I couldn't escape. I couldn't control my own body." I said in a neutral voice.

I suddenly feel warm on my cheeks. Without saying anything, Newt was caressing my cheeks, taking away the tears I didn't even feel. I closed my eyes to escape his gaze. And also to feel his skin against mine.

I raised my hand and grab his. I didn't pushed him away but I stopped him.

"I feel that they are going to come back. They are going to get me back."

I felt it to my bones. I was sure of it. There were no escape.

"I don't know what they did to me or what they will do. But I know that I shouldn't be … close to anyone when that will happen." I concluded, feeling I was putting words on the growing tension I was feeling since the first memory came back to me.

I gently let go of his hand. Even if I didn't want to. I shouldn't get too close to him. It was starting to get dangerous and I knew that my feelings were growing up too much. I won't be able to keep them under control if I stayed close to him, physically or mentally.

Suddenly, I felt his hand on my hips.

"Newt…?" I asked.

He pushed me against him. His other arm get under my head, making sure I was all against him.

I couldn't move away from his grips. My head was in his chest, his smell was all around me. I tried to get away, to push him away. He was way stronger than I was and didn't let me.

"Don't….please." he said in a small voice.

I stopped moving, hearing it shaking.

"I don't care. I don't care about all of that. I care about you. I care about the Midget than is always trying to act brave when he is scared, always putting a front, always trying his best for the sake of others. I am not going to bloody give you up to some assholes." He said passionately.

"Newt….But…." I didn't know what to say or what I wanted to say.

"No bloody but! No but anymore! I'm fed up of but!" He said, hugging me tighter than before.

Hesitantly, I put my hands on his back. I could feel the muscles of his backs all contracted to get me closer.

I grabbed his shirt and pushed him closer to me.

"Don't reject me. I'm on your side. I'm on your bloody side." He whispered in my ear.

I was crying and smiling at the same time, hiding my face in his shirt.

"Thank you." I said in his shirt.

He laughed. I could feel it as much as I was hearing it.

"You're welcome."

I stayed in his arms. I was warm and safe. Nothing could hurt me, nested against him like this. Not even the memories of a forgotten and tormented past.

 _No, nothing at all_ I thought before falling asleep.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I woke up in the morning, when the first sunshine hit my face. It was still too early for anyone to be up I realized. Before I realized I was all against Newt. His face was so close. His eye lash were longer than I expected.

 _Wow, calm calm._ I felt a rush of blood to my face and tried to put some distance without waking up.

"Owwwww…." Newt moaned.

Yeah, I woke him up. And I was still really close to him.

"Hummmm….morning." he said wile opening his eyes hesitantly and smiling at me.

No jump, no pink cheeks, no surprise. I was hoping for some. But no, he reacted like all of what happen yesterday was just friendly. Which, knowing him, probably was.

 _Well, it was a good night anyway_ I thought, smiling at the memory.

"Ouch, my body hurts everywhere." He complained while moving to sit down.

I copied him and stand up. I turn back to look at him hugging his head with his hands.

"Hey, you're ok?" I asked, worried.

"Ugh….bloody headache." He whispered, trying to avoid talking too loud.

"Hey…you are kind of green…." I added, kneeling next to him.

"Ughhh….I'm bloody going to die." He announced.

"What happened? Let's go see Doc." I rushed him, starting to seriously worrying now. I never had seen him like this.

"Nah, he will just scream at me." He stopped me.

Puzzled I looked at him

"Are you….hangover?" I asked doubtful.

"Shhhh not so loud….. my head is going to explode!" he scolded me.

Speechless I looked at him. So everything of yesterday was because he was drunk?

"By the way … what are we doing in the tower?" He asked while painfully holding his head.

"You….You don't remember….?" I asked, surprised.

"Hmm….what?" he asked.

"You…..YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" I shouted in his ear, disappointed.

"Ahhhhhhh!" He whined in pain, at my shout first, and then at his own voice.

Satisfied, I smirqued. Turning back, I went to the ladder and left him there.

I was not upset at him. Not really. Ok, maybe a tiny bit. Especially the part that understood that he only hugged me because of the alcohol. He deserved his headache. That was my revenge. He will not remember last night, but I got precious memories. He deserved a killing headache.

Then we will be even.

Cheerful, I went back to my hut, wanting to grab a couple of hours of sleep in more.

I was taking care of the garden later this afternoon. I could observe the effects of alcohol on many faces around me. Newt looked like he was better, even if he was keeping a safe distance from me.

Strangely I was feeling more at ease than ever before since my arrival here.

"You look better!" Said a voice next to me.

I jumped in surprise, I didn't heard him coming.

"Oh…Spider right?"

"Yeap! They said to call you Midget?" asked Spider.

"….yeah, exactly."

I answered him. I was not really keen to get next to him. But I knew I was just mean. It was not his fault if his tattoo started a memory back.

I looked at him working next to me. My gaze clearly avoided his arm.

 _Come on, don't be an ass. He is as lost as you were._

"Hum, welcome by the way." I tried, a bit awkwardly.

He smiled at me.

"Thanks! You look cooler once you're not scared!" He added.

"I was not scared!" I protested, remembering the previous night.

"Hummmm….well you were really white yesterday." He commented, clearly not buying my lie.

"I drank too much!" I said, too fast.

I just remembered that the alcohol got out at the same time that I get away of the hut.

Looking at his smile, he remembered too.

"Yeah, kick ass alcohol!" He said, letting me get away with my lie.

I smiled. He was not that bad finally.

"So, do you know everyone here?" Spider asked again, changing the topic.

"Hum, yeah kinda." I said.

"So many people to remember from yesterday, it's a bit hard." He made a face.

I laughed.

"It will come." I reassured him.

"Hope so!" he smiled back at me.

We kept chit chatting while working together. The day passed quite fast. We finally were done working.

"Ahhhhh too hot! I need a bath!" Said an exhausted Spider.

"There are the showers behind the huts over there." I said, showing the other part of our village.

Well, shower was a big word. We were using the water from the well to rustically wash ourselves. I always had to get mine in the middle of the night, in the middle of the forest, to make sure I was not going to meet anyone.

"Hummm I was more thinking of some leisure at the same time. No swimming spool?" He joked.

"Nope, but here is a lake over there, further in the forest." Answered Newt, coming closer to us.

"Sounds like your headache disappeared?" I said sarcastically.

"Yeap, I'm bloody alive again!" He answered with a large smile ignoring my sarcasms.

"Tchhhh…." I answered, trying to snob his answer.

However I couldn't stop my smile. Newt saw that and smiled back, satisfied.

"A lake? Cool! Hey, let's go!" Said Spider, suddenly all his energy back.

"Sounds like a good idea!" Answered Newt, enthusiast too.

"I pass! I'm not a big fan of water." I lied.

"Oh come on!" pushed Spider.

"Nope, that's a no. Have fun guy!" I waved while running away before they can force me to join.

For obvious reason, going swimming was not the most brilliant idea to hide my identity.

I walked around for a while, enjoying the sun of late afternoon and cool breeze. That was impressive to realize how easily I got used to this life. Maybe not remembering about my origins made it easier.

 _I wonder if it is the same for everyone. How hard would it be to live here knowing that our family is looking for us? Or worst, that no one is…_

I shake my head. I was not going to have negative thinking. Let's think positive, positive….

 _Newt._ My head, suddenly too helpful and obedient, brought a lot of images to me.

Wow, this was even most dangerous. Ok let's stop thinking about past, or people, just about future. Or something fun. Like swimming. I wanted to swim. Maybe I will go in the lake, tonight, when there will be no one around.

That sounded like a plan! Swimming was good. The lake was quite nice. Inside the lake, there was Newt enjoying right now.

"Not again!" I moaned while stopping myself.

I needed to keep myself busy. I decided to go to Doc'. He will be talking about nothing and everything and that is what I needed now.

"Hey Midget!" greet Minho, running toward me.

"Hey! You're back from the Maze?" I greet him back.

"Yeap."

"Dude, you look exhausted." I commented. He looked like he was still out of breath.

"Yeah, the run was long….hey, did you see Franck? I lost him near the entrance." Minho commented.

"You "lost" him?" I ironized.

"Yeah, kinda. Don't make fun of me!" He complained.

"Ahahahaah I will never!" I lied with a big grin.

"Stop that!" He gently hit me in the shoulder.

"I didn't see him anyway, will let him know you're looking for him if I see him." I promised.

"Thanks! I'll go check the kitchen." He said happily.

"To look for him or food?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Ah ah ah, very funny! Both of course!" he said while taking off.

I laughed while watching him go in the beginning of the darkness, and went back to my tracks. Directions Doc'.

"Doc'?" I called while entering the infirmary.

Only silence answered me. No one was there. Which was pretty obvious from the absence of light. But still, you never know.

"Oh Doc'….right when I needed your nonsense conversation." I complained to the dark empty room.

Having no one here, I turned around to go to the kitchen.

A sudden clatter made me jump. I turned around.

"Doc'?" I asked again, a bit nervous.

No one answered me.

"Oh come on, I just want to enjoy your conversation! You don't have to hide from me!" I said while moving toward the noise.

My knee hurt something hard.

"Ouch! Fuck that hurts!" I said while grabbing my knee.

"Oh come on, get out!" I said a bit upset now.

"Isn't it your job to take care of the injured people? Well I am now!" I exaggerated, trying to get him away.

I suddenly felt a presence behind me.

"Doc'….. WAH!" I screamed while realizing it was not him.

"Fuck Franck you scared the death out of me!" I complained before standing up again and hitting him on the shoulder.

I was not expecting to find the runner behind me, and took deep breath to calm my jumpy heart.

"…..". Only silence again.

"Hum….are you ok?" I asked, surprised that he was ignoring me.

"….."

Worried, I look closer in the semi darkness, the visage of the Runner.

"Holy …. Are you ok?!" I shouted while watching him.

He was all white, his pupils were so dilated that his eyes looked all black.

"I'll look for Doc'. Stay here!" I said before turning to the door.

A strong hand grabbed my forearm, stopping me in my tracks.

"Hey….Franck, I need to go find Doc'. I'll be right back ok?" I tried to free myself.

His grip was really strong and he was keeping tightening on my wrist.

"Frank….it hurts…..stop buddy….it's ok now!" I tried to reassure him. He clearly was out of it.

I was starting to get worried. If he was that panicked, not to hear my voice, I will not be able to handle him.

Suddenly he pulled me toward him so hard that I lost balance. I felt against him.

"Franck….fuck….you're hurting me….." I tried to free myself with more energy.

I was starting to get scared. What the Hell was going on? Why Frank was so…strange?

"Cold…..so …..cold…" Frank moaned in a deep voice.

"Let me go. I'll get Doc'." I tried to reason him one more time while still trying to make him lose his grip.

"Need…warm…flesh." He suddenly said.

Speechless, I looked at him. He was acting weirder than if he was only scared. The way he looked at me was …. Hungry.

 _Stop making yourself films!_ I ordered myself, trying to convince me that I had misunderstand what he just said.

"Stop it!" I said while pushing Frank hard.

He didn't let go and suddenly get his face close to my neck. Without thinking I blocked his face with my hand. I was scared. I pushed him as hard as I could but he was stronger than me. I could feel his breath on my skin.

I kicked him as hard as I could.

His grip loosened a bit, I pushed him hard and was able to free myself. Without thinking I stepped back and run toward the door. I could hear that he was running after me. But the door was only few steps away. I didn't know what he wanted, but my guts were telling to get out of here.

"Kyaaaaaaaah!" I screamed when he felt on me, grabbing me.

"No, No!" I fought back and was able to turn and to be on my back.

He was on top of me. I blocked his face but I couldn't stop him for long. I could see all his tooth, his mouth was wide open. I could read in his eyes that there was no one behind them. It was just an animal trying to eat me. He seriously was trying to eat me.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!" I screamed from the top of my lunges, fighting with all my strength.

I suddenly felt his hands on my throat, crushing my trachea.

I couldn't breath anymore.

I sank my nails in his face. He didn't look like he realized it. A primitive instinct made me try to attack his eyes. But I couldn't move an inch. If I lost the position, he would bite me. And I really didn't want that.

My throat was burning. I could hear my head ringing.

I was losing my strength. My vision was becoming blurry.

"He…lp….some…body" I was able to say.

Was it it? Was I going to get killed on the cold floor of an infirmary, not knowing who I was, hiding what I was? Killed by some fucking freak who wanted to eat me?

 _No way!_

I pushed him with all my strength and was able to breath for a second. No way I was going to die like this!

"NEEEEEEEEEEEEWT!" I shouted on top of my lungs; using the second I had before Franck, or whatever it was, crushed my trachea again.

My vision got blurry again. Darkness was surroundings me. I was going to be eaten. I couldn't stop this thing anymore.

That was it.

Suddenly I didn't felt pressure on my trachea or on my body again. Death was taking away all the sensation. Thanks Gods. I don't think dying with feeling your body getting eaten was a pleasant sensation.

"Midget! Midget! Come on! Bloody breath for blood sake!" was ordering a disturbing voice.

Newt….his voice with the delicious English accent. Was I gone? Or my mind was trying to give me some comfort before the end? No matter what it was, I was thankful to it.

"Please, breath! Stop bloody playing dead!" I could hear the panic in his voice.

I wanted to tell him it was ok, that it didn't hurt, but I couldn't move. My body was not responding. I was growing colder and colder.

"Doc'….please."

"Her body is not reacting. Move aside." Answered Doc'.

A sudden oppression on my chest.

 _Ouch…._ they were going to break my ribs. A sensation of warm started on my lips, making me realize how cold I was. I could feel air being forced in my mouth.

"Fuck I need to take her bandage off." Cursed Doc'.

For a second, no more oppression. Right after, I was feeling deliciously free. Until the annoying oppression on my chest started against.

"No time for that Newt! Do it!" ordered Doc'.

A warm feeling against my lips and air being pushed inside me. This time, it went right through my lungs. It hurts. I didn't want that. I tried to move my head, to make it stop. It didn't and air was forced into me one more time.

I started to feel the pain in my trachea again. I needed more air. I needed to break free.

"Ahhhhhh…." I inspired air.

"Stop now." Ordered Doc' again.

I roll on the side, grapping my throat. It was so hard to breath. But I had to, I knew that.

My survival instinct made me breath again and again, stopping only to cough.

"There, there…. Good girl." I realized Doc' was encouraging me with his hand on my back, talking to me in his comforting voice.

"….Fr….Franck….." I said, looking around with panic.

"It's ok now, you're safe Lad." Assured me Doc'.

I looked at him and started to feel my racing heart get a natural rhythm. Still confused, I looked around. There were only Doc' and Newt. He was standing and I couldn't see his face. His position was a bit….awkward.

"Newt?" I asked.

"…." He didn't answer me. He just turn away and left.

"Ne…." a new cough stop me from calling after him.

"Here here, stop talking. You're just going to hurt yourself." Said Doc'.

"Wh…what….?" I tried to ask him. Why did Newt leave? What had happened with Frank?

"I'll tell you everything later Lad. For now, come with me." He ordered, reading my questions on my face.

He helped me to stand. Supporting me, he leaded me toward the bed. He didn't have to insist for me to lie down. I started coughing again.

"You need to rest. I can't do much for your throat." Apologized Doc'.

"What…..happened?" I asked in a strangled voice.

"You won't rest until I tell you, do you?" He said in a tired voice.

I shook my head energetically.

He sighed and sat next to me. I could read his exhaustion on his face; He passed an hand on it, trying to get back to life.

"Today" Doc' started "Frank was on running duty with Minho. It seems like they got separated."

I listened with attention, remembering that Minho was looking for Frank when I met him earlier.

"Franck probably ran into a griever. I don't know how, especially during daytime, when they are not supposed to be out in the maze. But he met one and got infected."

Seeing my puzzled look, he kept talking.

"They have kind of darts. They are venomous. The venin transform you into a man hunter. You look only for flesh and blood. You can't be stopped, you can't turn back, you don't exist anymore. You become a sort of zombie. You look the same or almost, excepted for the white skin and pupil dilated." Doc' explained in a sad voice.

I shivered, remembering the eyes of Frank when he was trying to kill me.

"Frank got infected. It looks like it was a few minutes before entering the village because nobody remarked anything. He probably came into the infirmary to look for a remedy….that I don't have.

He sighed again, his eyes lost in the past and probably in the memory of all the previous infected that he tried to save without results.

"Anyway, I met Minho and Newt who were looking for him. And we heard your scream with some other guys nearby. The time we got into the infirmary, you were almost dead. Minho and the others were able to get him out and I stayed with Newt to…well…make you come back to life."

He looked away, as if he was ashamed. I grabbed his hand and hugged him gently.

"Th…ank you." I said with difficulty.

"Oh Lad, don't thank me. The thing is, you were not responding to the cardiac massage Newt and I were doing. I had to take away….your ….chest protection." He said a bit desperate.

Not understanding I looked at him, puzzled.

"Your bandages." He added, turning slightly pink.

It took me moment to realize he was talking about the bandage hiding my chest. Small chest but still bigger than what a guy would have. I turned red.

He did that to save my life, I was not angry. Just a bit awkward thinking he had saw my bare chest.

I felt all the air leaving my lungs.

"Wait…Newt…saw?" I asked, starting to realize.

He paused for an eternity. I couldn't breath anymore.

 _Please say no, say that he didn't._

"He saw." Doc' confirmed my worst fear.

Oh no. Oh Gods no. That couldn't have happened.

"He….saw…" I repeated, trying to wake up from a bad, a very bad dream.

He was not an imbecile. He had to know what he saw.

 _no….He must be so angry. I have to go and find him. I have to explain._

I tried to stand up. Doc' stopped me.

"No, you need some rest. And he needs some time too." He said.

"But…..I have to…..please." I begged him.

He looked at me. He saw in my eyes that even if he sat on me, I would go and find Newt. He sighed.

"Why can't you, at least, be the only person of the camp who listened to me?" He complained.

"Ok, I will find him and make him come. You, you don' move. That is the only compromise I can do. Do we have a deal Lad?" He sighted.

I energetically shook my head.

He sighed and went away, looking for Newt.

 _Oh Gods…..how could I explain to him? What could I tell him?_

I was so stressed by that, scared of Newt reaction, scared that he will never talk to me again; that it took me quite a long time before realizing where I was.

Anxious, I looked around. Doc' did tell me the others were taking care of Franck. However he didn't precise where or how. And I was alone in the infirmary where he just tried to kill me. The only light was coming from some candle next to me. It was making the rest of the room ever darker.

What if Franck was coming back to finish what he started?

What if Newt refused to talk to me again?

What if I hurt him even deeper than I thought?

I was scared of being killed but terrorized of what Newt may think of me now. I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. I wanted to run away and to apologize to him. I wanted to sleep and realize it was all a dream and getting hugged by him one more time.

Confused about my own feelings, I lied down and tried to close my eyes and tried to slowly count in my head to get some calm.

 _one…..two…..three…_

What if he never talked to me again?

 _four…five…six…_

I nearly got killed tonight.

 _seven….eight…nine…_

What the Hell was this day?

 _….ten…..eleven….twelve_

I open my eyes again, I was not getting calmer.

A sudden move near the entrance made me do a strangle scream. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone coming in. Was Franck back to kill me? I looked for a weapon, panic.

"It's me." Said a voice filled of English accent.

"Newt?" I asked, already knowing the answer, feeling my panic run away.

It ran away to leave me with a stronger scary thoughts. What was I supposed to do now? I sat on the bed.

"Doc' told me to come or that he will drag me here." Newt filled the silence, without coming closer.

I could only see his silhouette but couldn't read his face at all. His voice was so neutral that I felt an empty feeling grow inside me.

"I'm…so sorry." I apologized in a small voice.

"I should have….tell you. I shouldn't have….let you think….that I was a man. You trusted…me and ….I was not honest." I said between 2 coughs.

I put my hand to my throat that was burning.

"We'll talk another time." Newt stopped me, taking care of my well-being as usual.

"No….Please….I'm sorry….I didn't want to hurt….you. I'm so sorry." I repeated before having to stop, trying to catch air.

He came closer, getting next to my bed.

"Newt….I'm sorry….I lied to you….Please,….I'm sorry." I begged him again.

I didn't even know what for I was begging him. To forgive me? To forget? To come back to normal? All of that was impossible.

"I didn't lie…about anything…else." I said, hopping it would make a difference.

I wanted him to know. To know that at least, everything I said to him was the truth.

"Stop it!" He said louder.

I stopped immediately. It was the first time he scream at me, that he was angry at me.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't stop myself.

"Stop it!" he ordered again.

"Please….."

"I said to bloody stop it!" He shouted on the top of his lung, grabbing my shoulders.

"You are just hurting yourself to talk now. We will talk later. I bloody swear so bloody shut up for now!" he was so fill of concern.

He was worried for me. He was thinking of my welfare, I could read anxiety in his eyes.

The realization made me cry. I felt the warm water running on my cheeks, I couldn't see his face anymore.

"Gah don't cry…..I don't know what to do…." He said awkwardly.

I couldn't stop myself. Too many things happened today. Too many things however, Newt was still thinking on my welfare.

"I'm … sorry." I sobbed.

He pulled me in his arms. Hugging me, he was caressing my head.

"You apologize bloody too much." He murmured in my ear.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed while grapping his shirt.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked rhetorically, rocking me softly to calm me down.

"You know…..I was more confused about my own feelings." Newt added.

I stopped and looked at him, throwing myself in his blue slightly red eyes.

"I knew that you were different. I always did." He kept talking, softly.

I couldn't get my eyes away from his.

"I…..Now I know for sure that you are different." He shook his head, like if he was wondering why he hadn't understand before.

"You….what do you mean?" I asked, sure he was not talking about the gender here.

"Look at you….big eyes, soft skin…."he started caressing my nude arms.

"Soft, so soft little midget." He said in an hypnotized voice, not stopping to caress me.

"Newt?" I asked, a bit confused but unable to move away from his caress, or to let my eyes get away from his now so red eyes.

"I am pretty sure your delicate skin, you tender bones…..all of that make you unique." He whispered.

I was able to get away from his eyes to watch his hand on my skin. He had so long black nails…. They were tracing long red furrows on my pale skin.

"Newt….?" I was starting to get scared.

What was happening?

"Chuuuut…..I am sure you are the tastiest of all." He bend down and let his tongue run on my skin. It could have been the most erotic act ever, only it wasn't.

I tried to move away but he didn't even flinch. He sat up straight again and looked at me, smiling.

Now he has exactly the same face than Frank. Big empty eyes, hungry for flesh and blood. His nails started to dig in my skin.

"Noooooo Newt!" I shouted.

Not him! No him! Please Gods! Not him!

"Newt please! Come back! Newt!" I screamed again, trying to make him wake up.

I could only scream while he was bending toward my arm. Unable to move or to resist him, I watched him open his mouth, full of sharp teeth.

"Noooooo NEWT!" I screamed again, my heart piercing my chest with agony.

"Midget!" shouted a voice.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Newt!" Screaming I opened my eyes.

I was able to move, I started to resist the strong grip on my arms.

"Midget, stop!" ordered a voice.

"Newt! No, no no please!" I fought back.

"Midget!" shouted the voice again.

A sharp pain on my cheek made me stop.

Hardly breathing, I looked around me to find Spider looking at me, his hand still in the air.

"Where is Newt?" I asked him violently.

"Don't know….outside." answered a Spider, out of breath.

"What….."I started to ask.

A strong cough made me shut up. I grabbed the water next to me and slowly drank it.

It was a dream. Just a dream. Newt was fine.

 _Well, I guess so….since he didn't come back to me._

"Hum….I guess you were expecting someone else but you could look a bit happier to see your visitor." Spider said a bit offended.

"I'm sorry! Of course I'm happy you're here…..just….why?" I asked.

Spider couldn't refrain a big laugh.

"Just visiting the survivors I guess." Spider laughed.

"Ah….." I sighed, unable to think of another thing to say.

"What? Would there be any other reasons?" Spider asked, surprised.

"No! Of course not! Thank you for coming!" I said.

"You really have a strange voice. I guess this is the result of when someone try to strangle you to kill you and eat you. Or to eat you and then kill you. I'm not really sure yet, do the infected prefer eating their prey alive, all screaming and fighting back, or do they prefer to avoid the pain and the bloody mess by killing the prey first?" he asked, a bit too passionate about the subject.

I pulled a face in front of his words. It was quite pushing me back to remember and try to imagine what would have happen without Newt and Doc.

"Sorry, sorry. I guess my imagination went ahead of my tongue. Forget it! I'm happy you're ok! You're too funny to die when I just show up!" He said grinning.

I forced myself to smile and to forget the topic –way too much detailed topic- he brought.

"Yeah, I'm hard to kill." I tried to joke.

"I see that!" He said in a sudden serious voice.

"Anyway, since when was I …hummm…sleeping alone?" I asked, trying to look innocent.

I tried to ask him in a neutral voice.

"I guess Doc' left you few hours ago. He came back but looked like you were sleeping." Spider answered me.

"He came back? Was he with….I mean was he alone?" I asked, trying to not put all the importance I was putting in his answer, in my question.

"Hein? Hum, yeah he was." Answered Spider, surprised.

"Ah." I couldn't stop the pain from getting in my voice.

So Newt refused to come and to see me at the end.

"Hum Midget? I think you … well it's not my place to say that. I mean I just arrived and….well I don't really understand the dynamics here. Seriously from outside, there are too many people, everyone is having different roles, then crazy ones try to come and eat others, I don't get it. It is like an …" he rumbled.

"Spider!" I stopped him before coughing.

He was making me dizzy and almost made me lost his main point.

"It's ok. I'm also a newbie. I just have few couple of days in more than you. I don't really understand it neither." I tried to reassure him.

 _Yeah, just few days. It's not like I could say I know Newt or anything. I'm being ridiculous!*_ I tried to put some reason in me.

"So whatever you want to say, just feel free to do so." I finished.

Spider looked a bit confused. He tend a hand to me and pressed my hands thankfully for a couple of seconds before letting go. I would have been happier if it was not the hand with the tattoo that I was trying my best to not look at.

"Well….Ok I'll say it. I….saw Newt, few hours ago, after your aggression." Spider started.

"Oh." I said.

Did he tell him I was a girl? I tensed and waited for the rest.

"He was…hum how can I say…upset? Yeah he definitely looked upset. He was quite loud about you. He was saying a bunch of stuff to some other guys about how you were not someone we can trust, that you shouldn't be here. That you were not one of us." He finished, looking at my face.

It hurts. It hurts like hell. Made me forgot my physical pains. He was not on my side anymore. Newt was not going to help me out anymore and according to what Snake saw, he was already trying to get me out.

It's not like he owed me anything. However, I would have hope that he would come talk to me first. He always was pragmatic with me. Oh how I was hoping it was just another dream! But the pain in my body, the feeling my guts were ripped out was far too real for a dream.

I dug all of that into me, deep, deep into me. I couldn't let it get me. I couldn't lose it.

 _It's ok, you will start again. And if it is not possible, then you will try the maze. Must not be that terrible._

My mind was already making plan to run away when I stopped them. No way! I was not a loser! I was not a weak and fragile little thing that will run away when she was scared.

Remembering that Spider was still here, I took a breath and tried to answer calmly.

"I see. Thank you for letting me know. It's ok, we had a misunderstand, nothing to think about." I told him. It looked like my neutral voice was maybe too perfect because he was watching me doubtfully.

"I'm sorry Midget. I don't want you to get hurt. After all that, all that happened today, you don't deserve it." Spider said.

I shook my head.

"It's ok, don't worry." I tried to reassure him.

"Are you sure? If you want, I can go find him so you guys can talk." Spider proposed.

"No, we both need some rest." I answered.

My mind was blank.

Spider was talking about something else, I had no idea what. I couldn't focus. I was just making some agreement noise time to time so he will keep going. After what I estimated an enough time I stopped him.

"I'm tired, I guess it's time to sleep." I interrupted him.

Spider stopped talking. According to his face my timing had been wrong and I didn't let enough time pass.

Well I didn't care, I couldn't stay straight anymore.

"Yeah, I bet you must be tired. I'll let you sleep then." He said while standing up.

"Thank you for coming Spider, I really appreciate it."

"No worries, I am glad you're safe." He said before leaving.

I waited for few seconds, making sure he left. Then a big sighed escaped my lips.

That had been a hell of a day. I had plenty of things to think of. First of all Newt discovered I was a girl. Was he going to tell everyone? If so what was going to happen? Obviously he already figured out which way he wanted to see me. Then, there is Franck. Where was he now? Will he try to kill me again? I knew the answer and I didn't like it. I started to get tired of feeling defenceless and just waiting, expecting the next catastrophe.

I don't know what was going to happen next, but I could at least control myself. I will learn to fight and to run. And I will get the Hell out of there.

I felt relieved. It was maybe not going to help me facing the biggest issues, however, it will allow me to get some control on the things. And that, I liked.

After that thought, I was able to get some sleep, even if nightmares woke me up few times.

The next morning, I didn't really feel refresh. My body was making me feel awful and I couldn't touch my throat without a burning sensation that stopped my breath. However, I still had my determination. That was a nice plus.

"Mo'ning Doc'" I murmured.

I discovered the night before that it was hurting less to murmur and to avoid the "r".

"Good morning Midget. How are you today?" Doc' asked in a fake joyful voice.

"Couldn't do bette'." I lied.

"Glad to hear that obvious lie." Doc' commented in a sharp voice.

He applied some cream to my throat and made me drink hot potion. From the smell probably tea.

"About yesterday…" he started, embarrassed.

Ah, Newt.

"No p'ob Doc'. Thank you." I avoided.

He looked at me for a few seconds. I feigned nonchalance, drinking the burning tea.

"He just needs some time." I tried to comfort me.

According to what Spider reported, it would take more than just time. Things will never be the same. I felt pinch in my heart but I ignored it. I ruminated enough on that. I needed to move on.

"Doc', who would be the best fighter here?" I asked.

"Fighter? Why?" he clearly was taken aback by my question.

"I wanna learn." I said, seeing no reason to lie.

I could read all his emotions on his face. He opened his mouth to dissuade me but it looked like he then thought again. It was not hard, seeing my throat that must be blue right now. I needed some self defense.

"Hum, I would say…Gal. But I don't think he would like to teach you anything Lad." he said.

I agreed. Gal wanted me out of there, not to become my private teacher.

"Let me ask again. Which good fighter would accept to teach me?" I asked.

"I only see 3 goods ones: Alvi, Newt and Minho. They are the best after Gal. Maybe Caleb would be better than Minho but he is following Gal." Doc' answered.

"Caleb?"

"Yes. He usually go with the name of Cal'." Doc' tried to help me figure out who he was.

"Ah…..yeah, he is a runner." A sudden memory of a guy I met at my start here. Not really friendly was an euphemism.

"I will ask Alvi and Minho then." I decided.

Alvi would be too busy, maybe 2 or three times a week. Minho will have more time to spare.

"You should also … ah no, maybe not indeed." He said embarrassed.

Yeap, asking Newt was not the good idea right now.

As soon as I was able to get away from Doc' –who is adorable but had a tendency of turning more and more of a mother hen- I looked for them both.

I was a bit scared that Newt may have talked or that I would meet him. I was scared for nothing. He didn't say anything about my gender to the other and was running today.

Alvi accepted to train me with a big grin. It will be once every week. My scars must have been more impressive than what I was thinking for him to give me so much of his time. Minho jumped on the occasion. He told me he will teach me every day after the official duties and that it was starting in 3 days –order from the Doc'-. I thanked him and went to help in the kitchen until the end of the working day. I passed the next 3 days helping in the kitchen and trying to avoid Doc's deep attention. Sometimes, I was looking at Newt from afar, but he never looked at me back. I decided, I was better either in the infirmary either deep in the kitchen. Nobody to see there.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It finally was the end of the 3 resting days. After work, I joined Minho on the sands next to the lac, to begin my first lesson.

"Ok Midget, I'm going to train you. What do you know about fighting?" he said very seriously.

"Well….to be honest….not the first thing I guess." I answered honestly.

He just shook his head.

"Ok so we'll start by the beginning. You are small, thin and not really muscular." While talking he grabbed my arm to prove his point.

His forearm was 3 size mine.

"The good point is that it makes you fast and agile. I see the way you're moving. You will be able to avoid the hit if you are ready for it." Minho analysed.

"Hum, the prob is that I am not always ready." I said showing my face.

"One thing at the time. You have to increase your strengths and stamina. You will still be weaker than me. But if you know how to move you can compensate. Newt is not as strong as I am but he already kicked my ass a few times." Minho reassured me.

It was not hard to imagine. I got the feeling since the first time I saw Newt. He is able to read in everyone soul, movements. He can anticipate and use the strength of his opponents against themselves.

Suddenly, Minho hit my solar plexus. I felt, not graciously at all, my ass on the hard sand.

"The fuck?" I shouted, surprised.

"You have no balance. No attention. Focus!" Minho said, changing tone.

Shocked, I looked at him, still on the sand.

"I can teach you, but you have to focus." Said a new Minho, severly.

I got back my mind and start to stand up.

Suddenly Minho pushed me again, making me lose balance again.

"Hey! Let me stand…." I complained.

"You are not focusing. I am teaching you."

I stopped myself to answer in a not so nice way. Minho was not a mean person but he was acting strangely here. I had the feeling he would push me again as soon as I would try to stand up. Like a shark, waiting for the moment my attention would be focus on something else and I won't watch him. I thought. It made sense in a way. Franck didn't let me stand up nicely before attacking me again.

I roll on the side a few time to get further away from Minho before standing up in a hurry.

He watched me doing it with a content smile.

"You're starting to catch it." Commented Minho with pleasure.

"….Guess so." I said, watching him with suspicion.

"You need more strength in your arm and legs to be able to stand up by jumping, without having to use your hands. That put you unbalanced and undefended for a couple of seconds. Like that." He got on the grounds, and with one powerful jump, he was standing again. He didn't use his hand, got up way faster than I did and he was in perfect control of his body.

"For that, you need to run. Every morning, every night. Do push up. Train your muscles." Minho explained.

I shacked my head. He was right. I was burning of jealousy and wanted to be able to do that too. I will be able to do that too.

"Ok, let's see your balance now." Minho asked.

"OK." I will do everything to become stronger. And so, a more difficult prey.

Steadily on my two legs I watched him coming closer. He was almost at an attacking range when he plunge forward. With a side kick he send me away.

Once again, I landed heavily on the sands. This time, on my side. Waouh, it hurt.

"Actually, learning how to fall may be the first step for you." He said amused.

"Hey….you look like you're enjoying that too much." I protested before rolling a bit further away and standing up.

"Ahahah guilty I guess." He laughed.

"Hey!" I was outraged.

"When you fall because someone is pushing you, don't resist. Use the power of his attack to fall and roll away." Minho explained.

I didn't caught what he meant. Instead I just stay standing there, looking at him, doubtful.

"Push me." He said changing his position.

"What?" I repeated.

"Just do it Midget!" ordered Minho severly.

I went to him. With all my strengths, I pushed hard against him, pushing his pectoral.

He didn't flinch an inch.

"The…Hell?!" I said, trying to push harder.

"In your case, a direct attack won't do a thing. The strength difference is too obvious." He said, not even breathing louder.

"You're hurting my pride here." I complained before stopping pushing him.

"However, if your opponent is not that stronger and not expecting you, it may work." He said ignoring me.

"Push me!" He ordered again.

I pushed him. This time my hands didn't meet any resistance. I almost lost balance when he let himself being pushed. He rolled back while hitting the floor and using the impulsion to stand up, facing me. He was perfectly steady when I still was trying to get back my balance. With one push, he made me fall, face against the sand.

"You got it now? Use your opponent strength against him." Minho said again, making more sense now.

"Yeap." I said, spitting sands

"Stand up. Let's try again." Ordered Minho.

I tried for a while. At the end, I had the feeling that my ass smashed the sands so much, it would turn into diamond.

"Again!" I said, out of breath.

I had the feeling I was starting to see what I should do. I just had issues doing it.

"Stop thinking, just act!" He screamed for the thousands time.

I couldn't. I was trying to analyse every moves even if it wasn't a good idea.

Sure enough, he attacked me and I flew for a couple of inch before falling again. I was starting to see stars. But I didn't want to give up.

I stood up and sure enough got pushed again, pretty hard. I forgot to roll on the side to get away. Rolling right after being pushed was easier than rolling without any impulsion. I tried to stand up a couple of time, being firmly pushed back by Minho every time. My legs and arms were shaking under the effort.

Out of breath, I tried again. Sure enough, Minho hard push made me fall again.

I couldn't get enough energy together, being pushed again and again. I felt on the ground with a hard hmpf. At the same time, Minho who I was keeping an eye on, flew away from my sight.

 _What…?_

I raised my head to see a strong back facing me. Tee shirt glued to the body by transpiration, shaking fit tightly closed, blond hair….

The bloody fuck you think you're doing?" Newt growled at the body of Minho who was already standing up again.

I really loved this strong English accent. Especially containing this manly furriness, few step away from craziness. I wouldn't have expected Newt to have it.

In a daze, too surprised to find words, I just stayed there, on my ass, mouth wide open.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Answered Minho, facing him and looking quite upset.

"It's you my bloody problem! Why do you turn to be an ass?" shouted an angry Newt.

"What?!" asked Minho, clearly shocked.

"...This one is not an opponent for you." Shouted Newt, pointing his finger at me.

Ohhhhhhhhhh….. He was thinking we were fighting for real. Well, that Minho was seriously trying to kick my ass.

I snapped back to my sense and stand up.

"Wait Newt….Minho was teaching me." I interrupted.

"What?" repeated Newt, learly not understanding what I was talking about.

"He wants to know how to fight!" Answered Minho.

"Who?" Asked doubtful Newt.

"Me!"

"He!" Answered Minho and I at the same time.

"…That is the most stupid thing I ever heard!" commented Newt.

"Dude! Look at his neck! If it weren't for you he would have been killed few days ago. I won't let it happen!" Screamed Minho.

Surprised by the vehemence of his tone, I stopped and watched him. Since I saw him today, he didn't act concerned at all. Like if I just went for a usual guys fight and not almost got killed. I didn't think he mattered about me that much.

"Minho…."

He avoided my gaze and just stand there, staring at Newt.

"I have no fucking idea what happened, but calm down, idiot!" Minho shouted at Newt.

For once, Newt seems taken aback. He was at loss for words.

Silence between all of us kept up before he found his tongue back.

"Sorry man." Apologized Newt.

Minho seemed to relax. He shakes his shoulders.

"Nah, it's ok. I need to cool off." Minho commented.

He got in motion.

"See yah later Midget." Minho said while leaving.

"….yeah." I simply answered, still surprise by hi vehemence towards me.

I watched him walk back to the village.

I was happy and awkward of seeing Newt –or his back- again. But I was scared of facing him.

I stayed where I was. Standing straight, fixing his back, waiting for him to say something.

He didn't.

But he didn't get away.

He was so close I could have touch him if I raised my hand. But he seemed far away.

Silence got longer. I could hear my blood hitting my temps hard. I didn't know what to do with my hands. I wanted to sit but I was afraid of moving and making him disappear. So I didn't move.

He didn't move neither. I could see that his back was tensed. But he didn't move or relax himself.

This heavy silence was turning me crazy. The Hell?!

I opened my mouth to say something….but the words of Spider came back on my mind.

 _"He was saying a bunch of stuff to some other guys about how you were not someone we can trust, that you shouldn't be here. That you were not one of us."_

It hurt to remember. It hurt to think of Newt saying this kind of things. But I couldn't get upset at him. He didn't lie.

I clenched my fists.

"Are you ignoring me?" I asked dryly.

 _Yeah, go for it girl! Just say the thing that is on your mind without trying to think twice and state the facts…. Worst way ever_

He didn't answer. But I saw his shoulders jerked a bit. He heard me. He was ignoring me.

Fine by me.

"Suit yourself!" I shouted.

I turned away and left him there. I was so pissed off. I trusted him. And now he was playing kid's game and ignoring me? He was thinking he was the victim here? I didn't lie for fun, I was protecting myself and here he was acting like I did it on purpose just to him.

A few steps away from him, I turned back and scream at him.

"You know what? I didn't know you were such a dick! We could talk about it but no. No! Mister is too important to talk to someone like me. So let's ignore the parasite, should we?"

I was infuriated, I just kept screaming. The anger in my voice went to my body. I walked toward him and poked him with my index, highlighting my speech by hurting his back with my index.

"You …. You act sooo important and you even refuse to face me. You refuse to answer me. You refuse to talk. You're an ass, Newt! An ass! And I don't, care if you're ignoring me. I don't give a damn. I don't care about you! Don't ever come to me! Ever again! You are an idiot! Don't' come to me again or I …. waaaah…..!"

I suddenly lost balance, falling forward because of his sudden movement. I didn't have the time to understand that suddenly he was facing me, his eyes burning of fierce anger.

"I am an idiot? I am an idiot?! If one of us is a fucking bloody hell of an idiot, it can only be you!" He stormed.

I just looked at him. He was walking against me, forcing me to walk back or he would push me with his body.

"You…what the Hell got into you?! You shouldn't have done this! What is wrong with you? Are you a sadistic of some sort or something?!" Newt asked, looking dumbfounded.

I suddenly realized my back was against a tree and I couldn't get away. His face was distorted, he was furious. Just a few centimetres away from me. But I didn't feel in danger. Just the rage and something else in the deep of my stomach.

Being that close however, didn't stop him to shout at me like hell.

"Who is the sadistic?! Are you insane? I…." I tried to reply.

"Who is bloody insane?! You just got kicked out by a zombie of some sort and you run to Minho to kick your ass again? The Hell is wrong with you?!" Newt shouted, not listening to me.

It took me few sentences to get that he was screaming about Minho.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was? How upset? How lost?! And you just run to the next danger like some …some insane fetishist!" Newt had an accusing tone now.

"Hey! You're…."

"Shut up bloody idiot! " he cut me off again.

""Bloody idiot"? Bloody id…..!" I repeated.

Suddenly his lips were on mine, cutting me of.

His warm, welcoming lips, were crashing against mine with desperation. No tenderness, just hungry anger, taking control of me.

And I could _taste_ him. His tongue was running on my lips. My body shivered and reacted instinctively, letting him in. Victorious, his tongue came teasing mine, pushing it in a slow dance, caressing and welcoming.

My hands were on his torso. To push him away or bring him closer, I'm not sure. Probably both.

My mind was blank. There were only our kiss, his arms wrapped around me, keeping me close. His embrace was so strong and reassuring. I just stopped thinking, here in his arms, safe. I could feel his body trembling under my fingers. I grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. I wanted to feel his warmth against me.

A growl escaped his mouth and he obeyed my fingers direction, crushing against me. His hands were caressing my skin, going from my elbow to my shoulders, making me feel like it was burning lava under his touched.

I didn't know I could feel like this. My being just stopped, just stayed the feeling.

His kiss –our kiss- deepened and become hungrier. He put his caress up to my throat, touching by inadvertence a hurting spot. A pained moan escaped my lips.

As sudden as he started, the kiss stopped. I could feel his body all stiff again.

Surprised I opened my eyes.

Newt was facing me, looking at me in a way that make me feel more woman than ever. His eyes were burning of anger, hunger for something, maybe for me? However there was something else. Something I couldn't identify. He looked away from me, and stood back, away from me for a few steps.

"I'm … sorry." Newt said hoarsely.

My lips were hurting me, feeling so alone now. I had issues understanding what he meant. Did he just apologize?

Confused I tried to catch his gaze but he was avoiding mine.

"W….what for?" I asked after a few attempts to find my voice again.

Awkwardly Newt looked at me again;

"Well…for that. I shouldn't have jumped at you like this." He looked at me, a bit awkward. But I could also read that he was not regretting it.

"Ah….. hum….it didn't really bothered me." I answered honestly, feeling my cheeks grew hot.

"…..bloody hell." He sighted, like empty from all of his strengths.

Our eyes met and we both laughed, awkwardly.

I didn't really know what had just happened, but I was feeling at peace, laughing with him again. I have missed him.

"We should go back." He said.

"Hum." I approved.

We left, in direction of the camp. It was a bit awkward and neither of us were looking at the other. I didn't regret this kiss but it made me even more confused. So I could easily guess that Newt was not really clear neither on what was happening.

I shouted my mind off, just enjoying that he was back next to me. That was enough.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The following days were quite peaceful compared to all of what happened recently. I was running every morning and evening, fighting with Minho and sometimes Alvi, working in the garden or helping in the kitchen. I was avoiding the infirmary for understandable reasons. And as Doc' said, I came too often.

Newt was back to being his old self with me. None of us talked about the kiss, but it seemed like all the infirmary nightmare had been forgotten.

There was only 1 person I didn't feel comfortable around –except Gal' and his friend, who I was totally avoiding-. Spider.

He kept joining our little group for diner. He was funny and got along well with everyone. It had no reasons, but the discussion we had in the infirmary about Newt was strange. I didn't think he was lying, but I didn't want to think he said the truth neither. I could have asked Newt but I didn't want to re open this past. I was not sure how he would react.

Spider hadn't made any more comments about that but I could feel his eyes on Newt and I sometimes and it made me feel uncomfortable.

This feeling got back to me for the 100th times and I suddenly turn my eyes on him.

 _I am becoming paranoid in this small space._

He was in the middle of a conversation with Doc' and not paying any attention to me.

"Say, how did you guys became runners?" I asked Newt and Minho at dinner.

"Hum I don't really know. I am a fast runner and Gal' and Alvi decided to put me in I guess." Answered Minho.

"That's it? No test or competition?" I asked, surprised by how easy it was.

"Nope! But if they had put some in place, I would still have won." Minho said while clapping his torso like a gorilla, making me laugh.

"It also depends on your stamina and memory." Added Newt.

"What do you mean?" I asked

For the stamina part it was obvious. How would the Runner make it further in the labyrinth if they needed to take a break every 5 minutes? It was the memory part that was making me wonder.

"This is a maze outside, Midget. It means that we don't know where the bloody exit is. The Runners are trying to figure out a way to escape. But we have to come back and to try all of the possibilities. So the memory …" Newt explained.

"…is the only thing who brings you back to us or to the exit." I completed, finally getting it.

It made sense. Especially in a maze.

"What does it look like?" I asked, curious.

Newt and Minho exchanged a glance and I grew tense. It seemed like it was not an appropriate conversation to have at dinner.

"Sorry," I apologized without really understanding why. It seemed the best thing to do.

"Ooooooye! What are you guys doing?" Interrupted Spider.

Even if I was paranoid towards him, right now, I was thankful for his interruption.

He let himself fall to the floor, sitting between Newt and I.

"Nothing much. What's up?" Asked Newt.

He also looked relieved by the arrival of the Newbie.

"Not much. But I heard that Midget is letting his ass get kicked by Minho every day, without getting tired of it. I had to see if that was true." Said Spider, a bit too enthusiast.

"Hey I am starting to be able to defend myself!" I clamed outraged.

"Ahahah, in your dreams Midget!" Laughed Minho, before I throw my elbow in his stomach.

"Aaah! It hurts!" He said while rolling on the floor, holding his stomach and laughing without stop. Obviously my attacks didn't even hurt him.

"Oh come on!" I sighed with a smile. I couldn't resist Minho's tomfoolery.

"Oh guys, I had a question!" Said Spider when we all had calmed down.

"With the …I mean with what happened, I heard that you might need a new runner. After all you always run by two and, well, Minho needs a partner right?" He asked lightly.

The atmosphere grew tense immediately. That's true, Frank, who tried to kill me, was actually Minho's partner. Which means one spot just open.

Obvious to his surroundings, Spider kept going.

"By the way, what happened to this guy now? Do we have some remedy or do we have to wait for him get better?" asked Spider.

"I'm going." Interrupted Minho and suddenly taking off.

Frank was his partner. I knew he was feeling guilty even if there were no reasons for that.

I watched Newt who was leaving after him, ignoring Spider and I. He knew how to talk to Minho. I didn't think I should follow them so I just stayed next to Spider.

"No seriously, what's going to happen to him? I don't want to be insensitive, but he tried to kill you after all. If we keep him, who knows what he will do next? I don't know for you, but I don't really want to wake up to find him eating me alive." Asked Spider again.

I shivered, remembering the black and hungry eyes staring at me, the wide open mouth, the teeth ….

"Spider! They will fix it!" I shut him up.

It was a bit too loud to be polite but I couldn't let him remind me of what could have happened.

"Sorry, I just don't think that it is a good topic to discuss right now." I said while standing.

I didn't feel like being alone but couldn't stand to stay next to Spider who didn't know how and when to stop.

Not knowing where to go, my steps naturally took me back to my hut. There were some ligths on so I entered. I cowardly felt reassured by someone's presence.

I discovered it was Nigel.

"Hey." I greet him while entering.

He throw a glance at me before going back to his book.

"You have a book?" I said too surprise to get the message that he wanted to have some silence.

"…..obviously." answered Nigel, laconically.

"How…where…?" I asked.

"It was here when I arrived. There are a few of them all around the camp." He answered without getting his eyes away of his book.

"Oh…." I just said.

I climbed in my hammock. There were something comforting at the smell of the candle and the sound of pages being turned. Fast enough, the discomfort that was in my stomach since Spider's question started to calm down.

"Nigel…" I asked.

"Hum?" He mumbled.

"What happened to Frank?" I asked fixing the roof above me.

Only the silence answered me for a while.

"He got outcast." Nigel answered softly, understanding I was not asking how he turned like this but what happened since then.

"Outcast?" I repeated, not sure what he meant.

"There is no remedy. Once you have the venom in you, you slowly change into a killing machine, only walking for human flesh. There is no way to get them back. We tried." He said, pained, remembering old memories.

"When you were at the infirmary, they throw him into the Maze, before the door closed." Nigel explained again.

"Wh…. You mean he is out there? Alone and in the middle of this grievers?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"He is not Frank anymore. He is not human. He will kill anyone coming close to him. The only thing we can do is to leave him a chance to find the exit and find help out there. That is all we can. This is mercy." Nigel said, his face emotionless.

But at the same time, there were so much pain in his voice that I couldn't even protest. We both knew that he will never find the exit in his state, only the grievers. Maybe it would be mercy, but that will be the end of him.

Strangely enough, I couldn't get a lot of sleep that night.

Tired of turning in my hammock, I stood up. The sun was starting to rise anyway. I grabbed my shoes and went for my usual run. It was unusually hot outside and soon enough I got all sweaty. The effort was taking all of my attention and emptying my mind, which was the best I could hope for after that night of thinking of Franck. My body was protesting but I didn't listen and start running. My stamina was better than before but I needed more than building my body right now. I didn't want to stop running for a while.

I didn't react when a familiar presence got next to me.

"You're quite early today." Greeted Newt, running next to me.

"Yay, didn't get a lot of sleep." I said without slowing down

"Hm."

We kept running in silence.

"How is Minho?" I asked.

"He is ok. It was just not a good memory." He answered evasively, summing up last night pretty well.

"Yay, tell me about it." I said while slowing down.

We slew down until we were walking. My body hurt everywhere, but it was a good pain, it made me feel in control of all the muscles in my body and satisfied. Now I would kill for a shower to finish the process.

"Want to go to the lake?" I asked.

"What?" Newt jumped off surprise and his cheeks grew red.

"Ha? What sort of reaction is that?" I laughed. "I will keep these clothes and change in new ones after you perv'! "

"I'm not a bloody p…." he grew red.

"Come on, let's go!" I said, grabbing the clothes I left on the grass when I started running.

It was hot and we still had a good hour before anyone started to wake up anyway. I needed this. Without waiting for him, I rushed to the lake.

I threw my clean clothes on the rocks next to the water, took off my shoes and socks and hesitated. I said I will keep my clothes but who will go in water with a pant and tee shirt? Come on, underwear will be a perfect swim suit and anyway, I had bandages all over my torso. Not that there were much to see anyway. Without thinking more, I took off my pant and tee shirt and threw myself in the water.

The cold water slapped my body all over. It was delicious, making me feel all refreshed and brand new. I stayed under the water for few seconds before getting back to the surface to gap some air. I laughed, just happy of that moment of relaxation.

I observed Newt arriving between the trees. He was not red anymore.

"I can't believe you are doing this." He sighted again.

"Oh come on, I did it a hundred times since I'm here. I need to have fun too!" I protested.

"What if someone come?" Newt asked, worried.

"Nobody come at that time." I explained. I knew that for a fact since it was the only time I could enjoy the lake since my arrival here.

"Yay except us." He smirked, showing he found my reasoning totally stupid.

"Even if someone come up, I will go hide behind the trees and wait until they leave." I explained, trying to reassure him.

"What a bloody excuse is that?" He clearly didn't bite my excuse.

"Come on! Let me just relax ok? It had been a long time since I last come here." I said without mentioning it was since Frank. He got it anyway.

"Can't believe you." He sighed.

Newt started to take his shoes off.

"Yay!" I said victorious, clapping my hands.

"Turn around." He said.

"Excuse me?"

"Turn around!" Newt repeated.

"What? Come on Newt, I am living in the middle of men. And they are not really bashful. I saw more than I wanted." I said, surprised that he was prude.

"Never mind, turn the bloody heel around!" He shouted at me.

"Ok ok mylady!" I joked before turning my back to him

I heard him taking off his clothes. Even if I was pushing him, I felt my cheeks burning. I let my body go to the water until it reached the top of my cheeks. A splash noise echoed.

"Can I turn now?" I asked with sarcasms, hiding my real feeling.

"Yay. And just so it's clear, I still have my underpants!" He exclaim before I could say anything.

I just laughed and turn back before splashing some water to him.

"Wha…you're looking for a fight?" he shouted.

I just threw more water at him.

"Bloody Hell, no way you're winning that one!" he shouted, laughing.

We started to fight each other, throwing water in every direction. I couldn't stop laughing. It had been an eternity I didn't had fun like this. Out of breath we finally stopped and just chill out, swimming and splashing.

"Newt…." I started.

"Hum?" he asked, totally relaxed now.

"I want to be in." I said.

"In what?" He asked, looking at me puzzled.

I took a deep breath, it was not going to be easy.

"I want to be a Runner." I said.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Sure enough, his reaction didn't took long.

"You want what?" He asked coldly.

"I want to run with Minho and you and everyone, and find the exit." I explained calmly.

"Are you bloody insane?" Newt shouted.

"I am fast and you know it! For the stamina, it's true it is not that high yet but I am building it and I already can compete. And for my memory, well, nothing that I have forgot from these past weeks." I answered.

"That is not a problem of stamina. There is no bloody way in Hell that you are becoming a Runner." He said.

"Excuse me?!" I protested, not having expected this type of extreme answer from him.

"You can't be one that's it, end of the conversation." He said, bluntless.

"Excuse me?!" I shouted, loosing my calm at his "final". "And who do you think you are to say that? The conversation is not over. I run almost as fast as you. I don't see where your bloody problem is!"

"You will not go running outside, it is too dangerous!" he said, honest.

"Because it is not dangerous inside maybe? Sorry I might have forgotten the infirmary incident." I sarcastically answered.

"It's not what I meant!" he said.

"It's exactly what you meant and you know it!" I pushed him back.

"Fine! Yes it's what I bloody mean. Outside, there are the things that did that to Frank, there are a lot of them. I won't let you put yourself in danger!" he said, his cheeks turning a slight pink.

"I don't remember asking you your authorisation! And Minho and you are doing this all the time. So it is fine to put you in danger but not me?" I said, shocked.

"You're a bloody girl! You have to be protected." He lost patience.

"Oooooh! So now you're my knight in shiny armor? Funny, I don't remember seeing your white horse in the camp!" I said coldly.

"Middget…." Newt tried to calm me down, feeling he went overboard.

"No! I don't remember asking for a different treatment since I am here. I never asked you for that so stop thinking you have right to decide for me. I am in the same shit than everyone else here. My gender didn't change anything to the story. I have the weapons to fight back with my legs and you're trying to push me away." I was furious.

"I don't want you to be hurt." He shouted, grabbing my shoulders.

I could read real worry in his eyes. That is the only reason I didn't shout back at him. He seriously was worried about me. Even if he was not using the right excuses, how could I be angry at him?

"Newt….If we stay here, I will be hurt. We will all be and die eventually. Let me fight with you. Let me stay on your side." I said, introducing the situation in a softer way.

"I bloody hate you." He said with a voice that was confessing the opposite.

"Me neither." I smiled at him.

We both calmed down.

"If it can reassure you, I swear I won't try anything reckless. You know me." I promised.

"That is why I am bloody worried." He sighed before letting go of my shoulders.

"Hey! That's not nice! I am not looking for troubles!" I claimed.

"Nah, they find you on their own. You're like a flashlight for mosquitoes." He analysed.

"Hey again!" I exclaimed before hitting him lightly in his shoulders.

The only answer I got was a laugh.

We both relaxed and just enjoyed the water. It was strange to think that few weeks earlier …. Well, all my life disappeared. Now, my life was all about the maze, Newt, Minho, Doc', Alvi and the rest of the boys. I had no idea what as outside. I had no idea where I was coming from and from as far as my memory was concerned, I was only few weeks old. However all the relations I had with these people were so deep. Maybe because they were all I had.

Floating in the water, I turned my head to observe Newt who was doing the same few meters away.

It was more than that, I decided. What I felt inside when I was with him wasn't only because I didn't have a past. It was more. It _had_ to be more.

"We should head back." Newt said.

I sighed. He was right. As usual.

After that, the day ran as always. The only exception was Spider. He stayed with me all day. But he was not his usual cheerful and talkative self. No. He kept silent and I had the feeling he was glaring at my back. Not really into his drama, I decided for silent myself.

Well I tried.

But after few hours of silence work, I just couldn't stand the idea of him glaring at my back with a spade in his hands. I did pretty well all day at ignoring him but as the sky was turning more reddish as the end of the day was approaching, the more my patience was consumed.

I suddenly turned to him and decided to break the ice nicely.

"What's your problem?" I asked aggressively.

 _Awesome….that is just the right approach to someone. Even if he hadn't any issues right now, I just gave him the perfect opportunity to get a grudge against me. You did it again…_

"… Excuse me?" Spider asked surprised.

"I mean, you don't seem like usual." I tried to reword in a more neutral tone.

 _God, of course Newt had to be running today when his verb would have been more than useful_ I cursed the Gods.

"I guess….I mean…It is not easy everyday so…well…if you wanna talk…" I tried.

Yay….which sane person would want to talk to a clumsy dumb idiot?

"Well….it is a bit strange." Spider commented.

I started to wonder about his sanity but he kept talking.

"I'm having… these strange dreams….but I know they are more than dreams…But …." He sighed, like if it as difficult to keep going.

"But you _know_ that they happened?" I offered my help.

He nodded.

"We all have these …"dreams". They are not easy." I sympathised.

"Hum….but … they don't concern me." Spider said.

"What do you mean?" I asked sincerely curious.

Since the nightmares, I had no new memories. Every time it started, I was just waking up. My mind had put in place its own alarm system. Either that, either something was wrong with me.

 _Nah, I have an awesome mind with the best alarm clock ever, that is IT!_

Obvious to my own delirious monologue, Spider kept going.

"It is still confused. I remember a room. A cold room. All white. And his used padded leather chair and a …" he started in a dry voice.

"Piercing light." I finished in a breath, feeling the blood leaving my face.

That was my _dream_. The one with the spider pushing its venom inside me.

"Yay…. And the pain….the icy burned in my blood, running through my veins, going to my heart. No hope or escape possible. No ending. You can never escape. Never." He added quietly.

I didn't realize his cold voice tone, I was feeling sick. That was my memory. I didn't want to remember it. Never.

"Do you …know…what I mean?" He asked.

Lost in my memory, trying to contain them, I just nodded.

"Do you … remember?" Spider asked in an insinuating voice.

"No." I lied, shaking my head weakly.

"Do you feel it? The cold of the room running on your skin like ice cube. The smell of the used leather and the sour one of terror, floating in the air and getting mixed together…" Spider described with a weird voice.

"…no…" I shaked my head stronger.

"Do you see the light, so piercing that it passes through your closed eyelids, burning your retina…" he added with an excited voice.

"No!" I covered my ears, closing my eyes, fighting the flashback from my memory, focusing so much that I could feel the sweat on my forehead.

"Do you feel ….the pinch of the needle going through your perfect skin, looking for your vein…the product starting to burn…the scream that can't escape your lips, trapped in your throat, blocking your breathe…" Commented Spider, like if he was describing the most beautiful painting on earth.

"Stop it!" I begged, incapable to move, paralyzed by fear.

"…is what you wish, your mind is screaming, running insane, throwing itself desperately to the walls of your brain. Trying to control your body. But…nothing is responding." He smiled.

* _Make it stop!_

"Deep inside you know….you will always be on this chair." He whispered in my ear, like a promise.

"NOOO!" I screamed.

My fits crashed into his noise in a disturbing sound. The pain in my hand made me realize my body was responding. Not like in this memory. I could move. And run.

Without thinking twice, I ran away from Spider and his memory and his voice, his so disturbing voice. I ran through the other boy of gardening duties. They looked at me like I had run insane. After all; I just lost it and broke the noise of another of us without any reasons. But I didn't pay any attention to them. Only the desire to run farther and farther away from that and from myself and my own memory was important. It was all that mattered. I run and run but arrived to the wall way too early. No way I was stopping. I did the only thing I could think of and flew to the door. Nothing could scare me as much as what happened in the past.

I fasten, sprinting toward the door. These so tall doors that made me compare myself one day at an insect. I didn't even slow down while I passed the group of guy next to the door, lost in their conversation. Not even at their screams when they realized where I was heading to.

I didn't care about them. I didn't care about anything. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to think of the room, of the terror building up inside me when I remembered that. At the even darkest one when I remembered how they used to call me.

 _Subject 13_

I fastened up, as to lose the memory in my trail. It didn't left.

I fastened up again.

The doors were only few meters away.

The blurry idea that if I was passing the door, every memories will leave me, was strong in my mind. I will pass the door and everything else will disappear. The white room, the used chair, the needles, the spider…

Only few meters to come back to what I was before the nightmares. Before Spider talked to me. Before my mind turned its back on me and show me even more.

No way, I didn't want to know anything more. I know I didn't!

I realized that the group of chatty guys were not screaming anymore but running after me. They were faster but I was desperate.

These doors were my salvation.

I accelerated.

The seconds were eternity, turning in my head with evil laughs, distracting me of my surroundings…I didn't realized I passed the doors and that I was in the Maze but that memory were still turning in flash, waiting for one second of distraction to pass my mental barricade and draw me under them.

 _Fight the memories, fight, fight, turn right, fight, fight, left, fight, straight, right, fight, fight, right, fight, straight, fight….stop for the wall._

Then it hit me.

I was facing a wall.

There were only walls all around me. Huge walls. Walls for Giants.

No more trees, garden, huts or guys running behind me. No more scream.

I was alone.

And I was in the maze.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Walls. All around me. Huge walls. Covered of ivy. I turned my gaze toward the sky, unscrewing my head to see it through this Giants walls.

They made me feel so mall. And so alone.

I was entirely alone.

The idea hit me. I like it. I was in fond of it!

No more screams or silent threats, no more guys, no more pressure of finding answers nobody had. Just me.

A laugh exploded in me. It was shaking my body. I was roaring with laughter. I couldn't stop laughing and I didn't want to. Tears were welling from my eyes, running on my cheeks. I fall on my knees, my body shaking too hard to stay standing.

I made it. I resisted the fear, the memories, I escaped them. I did.

I was euphoric. And exhausted. And confused. And alone.

Sitting against the wall, I closed my eyes for a few seconds.

The dreams started same as last time.

 _Sitting on a cold chair. A white room, nude of anything. Nothing inside, no windows, no hope. There was only me sitting on this used padded leather chair, the clinical table, the plates full of different needles and icy products. Nothing else except the cold within the room. Or was it inside my veins? Even deeper, inside my bones. But even through this cold, I could feel the sweat on my forehead, some drops on my upper lips._

It was the same dream than last time, but I knew it was a different memory.

 _I couldn't move, immobile under the piercing light. The only thing I could observe with my blurry vision was a black spider. It was going to devour me. It was going to put its venom in my blood. Again. And again. And again. It will ignore my quiet tears….no actually….it would enjoy it like a kid eating a lollipops right before dinner. When he shouldn't and this idea makes it even better._

 _"I don't want to do that neither you know." Lied the spider._

 _I could see the smile on its lips, ear the pleasure in its voice, see the anticipation in its accelerated gesture while it was carefully picking up one needle among the others._

 _I wanted to throw up but I couldn't even do that._

 _"You will see, it won't be that difficult."_

 _I could hear the satisfaction in the spider voice. It was taking pleasure of seeing me scared, unable to defend myself. I could feel its excitation to hurt me again, to see me scared but unable to defend myself and to resist it._

 _*No, don't look scared, don't make it happy* I tried to push myself, to resist._

 _But I knew what was coming. I couldn't control it._

 _The spider came closer, feeling my terror like a shark smells blood._

 _"It will be over soon."_

 _A lie again._

 _The spider's needle get under my skin, pushing the icy product in my veins…_

The dream didn't stop there. It got dark and I saw something new.

 _The spider again…but this time, it had the body of a male adult. I couldn't see his face, just the spider on his arm. This black thick spider that grossed me out._

 _I was on the chair, in the same nude and cold white room, waiting for him to start. Today, he was taking even longer. I already realized he liked waiting until the limits of the drug I was under, when I almost had the feeling I was going to be able to control my body. The others were not like this. They didn't pay any attention to me. Just putting the products in my blood, not looking at me as a human, just as a guinea pig._

 _This one…he was a pure sadistic and I was his toy. The diffuse pain in my stomach make me understand the drugs that were immobilizing me will start to stop working little by little. I usually had this feeling once I was on the way back to my room or already inside this nude cell they were calling my room. I knew that after the pain in my stomach, the World will be all blurry, my head fuzzy and I will be sick. But after that, I will be able to move and to regain control of my body._

 _I looked around me again. He was nowhere to be seen and we hadn't even started the injections yet._

 _*It might be my chance…*_

 _Just when this crazy idea pop up in my head, he entered the room with a big smile. He was able to read the deception in my eyes and it made him even happier._

 _"Sorry for the wait."_

 _A part of me was sure he could read in me. He did it on purpose. To see the hope flourish in me and to be able to destroy him._

 _Tears of frustration and anger welled up in my eyes._

 _"Oh Subject 13, don't be like this." He said in an awfully sweet voice._

 _"After all, you have nowhere to run to." He said before laughing._

 _Will it ever end?_

 _He was starting to pick up a needle when an alarm exploded in the room._

 _"What the…"_

 _In the same time he jumped of surprise, a woman appeared in the door. Tall, wearing all white uniform like everyone working here. The strict bum holding her blond hair was making her look older than she probably was._

 _"We have a Code 3. Go to the station." She ordered him._

 _"But… " he turned his attention back to me._

 _"What? This subject in under drugs, she won't move."_

 _Perceiving the hesitation of Spider, the woman asked him, threatening._

 _"She IS under drugs, isn't she Paul?"_

 _"Yes, of course Madame O'Hara." Answered the Spider, aka Paul._

 _"You haven't messed up again, have you?" asked the woman with disdain._

 _"No, Madame O'Hara." He said his voice softly muffled by his hatred towards her._

 _"You know what will happen if you do." She said, posing her sharp and icy eyes on him, sensing the lie._

 _"I know." He answered._

 _She looked at him with piercing eyes. I could almost feel the temperature of the room drastically dropping._

 _"…Madame O'Hara." He added quickly, as aware as I was of the danger he had in front of him. I could see his hands shaking of anger for being humiliated and feeling like this._

 _"Then go to the station immediately." She turned back._

 _"And Paul, don't ever make me repeat myself." She said haughty at him_

 _"Yes Madame O'Hara." He said to the emptiness. She already had left._

 _If I could have, I would have smirk. She scared the hell out me. But many things did these past years. But seeing my executioner being threatened was a first. And I loved it._

 _No matter what will happen today, it was worth to see the humiliation on his face. He turned his gaze on me and read it in my eyes. With the frustration he just got, he didn't even repress his desire of murdering me from his face. His fist met my cheek with all of his power, sending me flying from the chair to the tiles. My other cheek and forehead hit the floor with an echoing sound. I heard the blood running through my ears. My head was feeling funny, probably a commotion._

 _"I'll be back to play with you Subject 13." He promised before running out of the room, after the so-called Madame O'Hara._

 _I stayed on the floor, filling the pain on my cheek and welcoming it. I had realized long ago that the physical pain made me faster to regain control of my body. And indeed, few minutes after his departure, I was able to move a bit. That definitely was my chance._

 _Without thinking twice, I went for the door. Unable to walk or stay on my feet for the moment, I crawled to the door. Fortunately my torso was protected by bandages that I got the day before after "falling" thought the kicks of my executioner. It had been a few weeks that my attitude was pissing him more and more. I was done with the fear and now he could read the disdain and hatred. I don't think it was bothering him as much as not seeing fear anymore._

 _There were nobody in the corridor. I knew where to go. The place I was always passing in front of in the wheelchair he was pushing. The place that they sometimes brought boys though. With real clothes, not the white hospital blouse I was wearing. Clothes that you will wear outside._

 _Fighting against the urge to throw up and the blurriness I knelt down. I had to use my legs or I will still be here when he will come back. And no way it happened._

 _I fought the sudden dizziness and the urge to throw up. I hit the floor pretty hard back then. My head took all the chock. If I was listening to my body, I will probably just passed out._

 _*No way! You're gonna' take the best out of this.*_

 _My fighting instinct pushed back. I made a deal with my body to let it be as sick as it wanted after all of this._

 _Hesitantly, holding into the wall, I stood up. Weakly first, I started walking towards what could be my exit. I got very lucky there. Being so arrogant and sure of themselves, there were absolutely no watchers. Guarding against what? The subjects like me were either in their cell, either under strong drugs. Not really the possibility to fight._

 _I finally pushed the heavy door on the room I was targeting, my blouse drenched in sweat. Here was my only hope and I had no idea how long it will take before they realized I was not where I was supposed to. I knew that after that, I will probably be under drugs all the time. Or killed. With a shiver, I rejected both ideas. I wanted to live._

 _The room had no other door. Just an elevator. More of a cage looking like than an elevator but still. And on top of it, a long and dark tunnel going up toward the sky. Or so I guessed, almost blind in this darkness._

 _I realized that I had one issues. It was that it was full of boxes. Really full. Even if I was not fat, I will never be able to get in. With painful groans, I climbed on the top of the cage and open the heavy grill that was blocking the only way in. On my knees, I pulled some of the boxes out._

 _It cost me everything I had. And it took me so long. I could feel the second passing, I was still so slow… But now there were enough room for me to get in the elevator._

 _Now, how to command the cage?_

 _There were no command control in the cage. The only thing that look like one was on the wall, opposed to the door._

 _With another groan, I slide down to the floor and went to the wall. Without waiting, I pushed the control button with an arrow toward the sky. I then painfully sprinted toward the cage. Fortunately, it as an old system and the security were putting themselves in place before the cage go. Fortunately because if not, I would have been blocked down here. I jumped back on the cage, closing its roof behind me. With a loud and tired "humpf" the cage starts to lift itself, the boxes and me. I could see through the grillage. I realized that I was lucky enough to have with me an old tee-shirt and a worn out jean. Without hesitation, I took off my blouse and put the clothes on me, adjusting the jeans with a hasty done belt done from my blouse._

 _Then, with nothing else to do, I started to wonder where this elevator was going, if it was going anywhere…how long would it take? Will I die in this? But the panic calmed down, replaced by a huge headache._

 _*Shit, I really hit the floor hard*_

 _I kneeled down and push my forehead against the grillage. I couldn't see the floor anymore. Only darkness. I had no idea where I was going but I had done everything I could. With a sight, I closed my eyes._

 _Rocked by the sway of the elevator, I was fast to pass out._

 _*Cold._

 _The icy kiss of metal against my cheek makes it feel numb. Or was it the diffuse sensation waking up my skin and pushing me on the edge of conscience that made me feel this way?_

 _After all, the cold against my face was the only thing I could feel._

 _Was I dead? They say that you grow colder and colder when life is leaving you. And that you are losing all the sensation, all the pain of your charnel envelope. I send my conscience do a check on my body._

 _According to the furious pain under my skull, I guess that was not the end for me._

 _"Ughhh…" a moan escaped my lips_

 _The pain was unbearable, giving me the feeling someone was trying to explode my head with a hammer. From within. I shut my eyes tighter, trying unsuccessfully to control the pain and the nauseous feeling._

 _I could hear my blood bumping at my temps._

 _Boum Boum Boum rrrr Boum Boum rrrrr Boum._

 _Wait, that is a strange sound, even for the worst headache ever. I thought._

 _Slowly, I realized that my blood was not the only one screaming in my ears. A more mechanical sounds was echoing it. With the best courage I could gathered, I opened an eye and got a glimpse of my immediate surroundings…._

 _Few minutes after I will make my entrance to my new World, having forgotten anything from the previous nightmare I was living in._

 _I found myself back on the used padded leather chair. A little kid, maybe around 8 years old, was watching me with her huge green eyes, tearstains on her face with a reddish noise. She was terrorized. I could see the attachments on her wrists, attaching her to the chair. It was hurting my wrists. With a jump I realized I was watching myself through the tinted windows in front of me. I_ was _this scared little blond kid._

 _I was terrorized, I shouldn't have been here. It was a mistake. It_ had to be _a mistake. Some grown up person will enter the room and they will take away these attachments and I will be able to go back home. Tears started to run again on my cheeks while sobs where escaping my lips. I wanted to go home._

 _"Mum …." I sobbed even more._

 _"She left already." Answered a man's voice._

 _I jumped at the sudden voice. A man just entered the room and was watching me, limping against the wall. He looked like a man to my child's eyes, but he probably was just a teenager._

 _I forgot to keep crying while I was watching his tall silhouette._

 _"Mum? I wanna see my mum!" I sobbed._

 _A smile stretched his lips._

 _"Your mum left. She left you here with us. You see, you were too much of trouble for her. But no worries, I will take good care of you." Promised the man._

 _"Wh…no….that's not true! Mum will not…you're lying! You liar!" I shouted and sobbed together._

 _I didn't know what was happening but I wanted my mum to come and hug me and to bring me home, far from this strange and scary man._

 _"Oh it is the true sweetheart. You'll never see her again." Promised the man._

 _I cried even more, becoming hysteric._

 _"Stop playing Paul." Reprimanded a woman with an Hispanic accent entering the room._

 _"…Mum?" I couldn't really see through my tears, but the sonority of a woman voice reassured me._

 _"Who is she?" She asked, ignoring me._

 _"Her name is Alex, she has…" started the man._

 _"I don't care about that small details". She said in a severe voice, cutting him off._

 _"I apologize Leader Martinez. She is Subject 13." Repeated the man._

 _"Good. Let's start the process immediately." Ordered the woman._

 _"Yes Leader Martinez."_

 _The man got closer to me. He now had a needle in his hand, scaring the death out of me._

 _"It won't hurt." He lied with a sadistic smile._

 _My eyes kept going between his face and his needle, not sure of which one I was the more scared of. The needle suddenly pierced my skin, making me yelling on top of my lunges._

I suddenly woke up with a cold sweat. Heavily breathing, I looked around me, feeling in danger. The panic overrun me. It was dark, I couldn't see a thing. I could hear a lot of strange and worrying noises all around me. Where was I? What happened? Where was the needle and the strange guy? Feeling nauseous, I passed my hands on my arms, making the memory of a piercing ghost needle disappear.

With a gasp, I started to remember. I was in the maze. I was not in this little room anymore.

I realized I had run away from Spider twice now. From the camp and from the small nude and cold room. I clearly could see the face of Paul when I was closing my eyes.

Paul was Spider.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Spider was Paul, my previous executioner.

But it didn't make sense. Why would he be in the maze? Why would have been send here?

 _He came on his own choice._ A shiver run down my spine.

This idea made sense. He remembered me, I felt it from the beginning. Then why…

A gasp escaped my lips. He wanted me back. He said so himself many times in the past. In his creepy mind, I was his toy, his property. And a toy don't get away from its master. He came to get me back.

No way I was ever going down there again! My mind rejected this idea with nausea. The only way to escape was to run far, very far from him. This had to be the solution! It was so simple!

I stood up with the determination to run out of here and far from Spider, in a place he will never be able to find me. A place far from this insane camp or maze or anybody. A place there will be only me, nothing else and nobody.

 _CRRRRRR…._

My heart missed a beat when I heard this strident sound. I had no idea what it was, but it was big…

 _CRRRRR…..CRRRRR…._

….and coming this way!

I looked around me, desperately looking for an exit, but I was in a dead end. No exit, no more path except the one facing me, where the sound was coming from, where I arrived from. I looked up, but nowhere to climb. The ivy was too weak to support my weight and anyway, I would have to climb to the top to escape the sight of anyone, or anything coming. I would never make it.

Was I going to die here?

 _No bloody way!_

I turned my gaze to the floor and my eyes catch an empty spot. With panic, I knelt down, rushing to escape the thing doing this sound which should be here at any moment. My hands realized before my eyes that the ivy was hiding a sort of small recess in the wall. Without waiting any longer, I lied down and slide in it. It was running all along the wall but I just had the room to put myself in. In a mind light and with strong writhing I pushed back the ivy that I moved while sliding in, back in place. Then I covered my mouth with my hands, hiding my erratic and heavy breath.

 _CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…._

The thing was here. I stopped breathing, opening my eyes in wide, trying to see through the ivy. Unfortunately for my suicidal curiosity –or rather fortunately for my survival- the ivy hiding me was heavy enough to hide me and also to hide the outside from me.

The screech suddenly stops.

 _Oh my Goood._ I screamed in my head.

Sweat was running down my neck. The seconds felt like hours. The creature or whatever it was didn't move. I _had_ to see if it was still here. With being as careful as possible, I turned my head towards the ivy, trying to see between its thicknesses.

I saw _something_. It was like a …. Maybe a pole, in metal. It was not moving. I could see that it was long but not to what it was attached. I got the idea that it was a leg, a metal leg.

My eyes confirmed what my mind already guessed. I had in front of me, one of these famous grievers.

According my previous experience with someone who met one of them, I had no desire to meet one in person.

But this one was not moving at all. Maybe it was dead? Or sleeping? Or just waiting for me to get out to eat me.

 _Wait, do they eat people?_

My mind tried to remember the poor amount of information I had on these things. Unfortunately, nobody in the camp liked to talk about these creatures, except to say that no one could survive or be himself again after meeting one. And there was the story I experienced with Franck…

 _not really reassuring…_

In order to get those memories out of my system, I decided to get a maximum of information. I grew bolder and moved my head of few centimetres to see more. Like to answer me, a second pole suddenly appear in my view, making me regret my movement, thinking _it_ reacted to my movement and had seen me. In a second or so, it will grab me and drag me out of my hide out before slowly eating me or killing me or whatever they were doing to people. After few horribly long seconds without any other moves, I opened my eyes again.

Surprisingly enough, _it_ had not started to eat me alive. It seems that _it_ didn't even realized I was there, only a few centimetres away.

With my new position, I realized that the 2 poles, were actually a type of iron or metal legs, and that they were 6 in total. I could see that they were coming from a form that I couldn't really identify. Except that it was not from metal. I could see it moving, breathing in and out in deep gasps. A sudden drip felt on the floor next to my head, on the other side of the heavy, making me freeze.

I realized it was slobber.

 _Oh my God, its face is toward me. It knows I am here…_ I panicked again.

I wanted to try my chance and run for it. I couldn't wait anymore, I had to get away of these thing.

Just when I was going to make, probably my last mistake, the thing moved away from where it came from.

Still too scared to move, I didn't get away of my hideout. I could feel tears of terror and relief running on my cheeks. But I let them rolled freely, to scare to move.

Hours passed without seeing another of these creatures and finally the sun was back. It was taking aback my night terrors like a bad dream, giving me the courage to move away. Carefully avoiding the slobber, I got away of my hideout with difficulty, my body screaming, full of lumbago.

I carefully checked that nothing was around before stretching with a groan. Then I turned to examine the floor. There were few slobber around here, enough to fill my hands joined together. This thing was huge. I shivered, realizing again how lucky I got during the night.

But what should I do now?

Staying in this Maze and just waiting for the time when I will not be lucky anymore? Going back to the camp where Spider was?

 _and Newt!_

This idea flashed my mind. I felt guilty to have left him behind. And to have forgot about him for a couple of hours.

 _But it's not like I had planned all of this_

Yeah, I definitely hadn't plan nothing, having no food or water or even information about grievers or the maze.

With a sight, I let myself slide down to sit on the cold floor. I couldn't stay in the maze or I will die. I only had the camp. With Spider. This sneaky little asshole who was just waiting to get me back. This dirty piece of…

"Wait! This is it!" I screamed before watching carefully around me, scared to have attracted back one of these creatures.

A brilliant and crazy idea just flashed my mind.

Spider was my answer. He was the answer for all of us. I couldn't believe how dumb I was to have not see that before. Filled with excitation, I stood up. To realize my idea, my first objective was to go back to the camp.

I started walking, remembering the path I walked the day before. It wouldn't have been so complicated if I hadn't done it in such a rush and panicked state before. With deep frustration, I lost precious amount of time turning in circle and getting the wrong way.

Fortunately, my memory or animal instinct was strong enough, and soon enough I found myself at the entrance of the camp. Well, at the corner of the alley of the maze bringing me back to the camp. But how to come back in? How to explain all of this? What should I do? How to explain everything?

Worst, will they trust me? And what if I was wrong, if Spider didn't remember anything or if he was actually dumber than I thought?

I sighed. One thing was sure, if I kept staying here and thinking, I will definitely fail.

 _*Whatever, let's do it!*_

With a determined steps, I advanced in the alley, toward the camp. Having lost myself in the maze before, it was now around lunch time. All the camp as awake and already working. I would have preferred if the huge doors just opened and only a few to be up but that would have been too easy.

I finally was at the door. They were so thick that I still had 20 meters before being in the camp. I kept walking towards it.

"Stop!" shouted one of the guy.

Great, one of the watcher of the door today was my favourite fan, Gal. And looking the way he pointed his pick toward me, his feelings for me hadn't change a bit.

"What's up Gal?" I said, still walking.

"I said stop!" His attitude that were unfriendly clearly became threatening.

I safely obeyed and stop right there, holding my two hands to the air.

"You forgot to say "Simon says"." I said less carefully.

Oh me and my big mouth…

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" shouted Gal, not having any room for jokes in his mind.

"Right now? Waiting for my breakfast and coffee before going to the pool. An usual day in paradise. And you?" I asked politely with a less polite smirk at him.

"You son of a …" Gal started, becoming red of anger.

"…mother?" I nicely proposed to him.

According his red face, he was trying to contain his explosion. But I was too tired and mentally exhausted after the night I had to calm him down.

"Once we will have finish our discussion on our respective mom's job, do you think you will be able to bring me to Alvi?" I asked.

"I don't think so." Said Gal.

"It's ok, he lives in the big hut over there, I can show you if you need." I said, still impulsive.

"…."

"You're ok? It looks like you're going to have a stroke. You should bring him some water." I said to the other watcher who was looking at me with a big open mouth.

I sighed. I had no time for this.

"Listen Gal, it's very important that I see Alvi right now." I tried more honestly, muzzling my tongue.

"So you can kill him?" asked Gal.

"So I can what? Are you insane? I mean more than usual?" I was absolutely not expecting that.

"You're infected and you're coming back! Get back to the Maze!" shouted Gal.

"I am NOT infected you idiot! If I was I doubt I will go for Alvi when you are in front of me!" I shouted, forgetting diplomatie.

He stepped back. Ah … maybe not a good idea to scare him when he already was so pissed off at my existence. Something told me he wouldn't even ask before piercing my stomach with his pick.

The look on his face and on how he hold his pick gave me reason.

"Gal…please…can you ask Alvi or Newt to come here? I will nicely wait here. Or you can send him and stay with me if you prefer." I said.

"So you can kill me?" Gal asked.

"Oh man…" I sighted.

I lost patience and scream at him

"Then ask someone else to go look for Alvi! There ae other people around us! Showing the "workers" coming closer because of the noises we were doing, to satisfy their curiosity."

"Don't order me around, you piece of s…!" shouted Gal.

"Hey what's happening?" interrupted a voice.

I recognized this voice. Without even thinking, my body jerked towards it and I throw myself to the owner of this voice. Fortunately, Gal had been distracted by the newcomer and didn't get the chance to stop me or to pierce my stomach.

He gave me enough time to jump at the neck of the new comer. Under my weight, he felt on the ground. I used my impulsion to get on top of him when we stopped rolling.

Without waiting, I started to strangle Spider.

I could use the element of surprise and the force of my attack to strangle him for few delicious seconds. He was so not ready for it that his head made a wonderful " _bump_ " while smacking the floor and he lost consciousness. It didn't stop me to keep strangling him. But soon enough, they came back to their sense and realized what I was doing. They were way stronger than I was. Gal and the other guy get me off easily.

"You son of a bitch!" I shouted at him, desperately trying to jump at his face again but strongly hold by Gal and the other.

"I will kill you, you hear me? I'll kill you!" I shouted at Spider.

"What the Hell is happening here?!" Shouted a loud and grumpy voice.

I stopped fighting against Gal and the other and just turned my gaze towards Alvi and the small group of guys that came to us. Without realizing, my eyes wandered but couldn't find the usual blond head I got so fond of.

Oups, throwing myself like an hysteric to Spider didn't and wouldn't really help my story.

 _But it was worth it!_ I thought while smiling at the scratching and bloody marks on Spider's neck, who was still knocked out.

"Midget?" asked a voice, clearly dumbfounded.

"Minho!" I greet him.

By reflex, I tried to go towards him but Gal was holding me strongly.

"He is infected!" Gal shouted.

"It's not true!" I shouted back.

"It is true!" reply an obstinate Gal.

"No it's not!" I replied, not less obstinate.

"You tried to kill Spider in front of everyone!" claimed a triumphant Gal.

"Yay….but he deserved it! If you let me go I can explain!" I said.

"We have to throw him back in the Maze before he infects us!" shouted Gal.

"You fucking retarded, are you going to listen to me one time in your life?! I AM NOT INFECTED!" I shouted at Gal.

"ENOUGH!" Shouted Alvi, loud enough to ceover both Gal and I.

Gal and I stopped arguing but kept looking daggers at each other.

"Did you check if he was infected?" Asked Alvi.

Gal looked at him and I grinned feeling that I had win a little here.

"No, he just arrived and started attacking me before throwing himself at Spider." Explained Gal.

"It is not attacking you that to comment on your intelligence, you idiot!" I shouted.

"You son of…." Gal was losing it again.

"So you haven't check, have you?" Confirmed Alvi.

"…no." answered Gal, a bit guilty this time.

"Doc' will check." Said Alvi.

"We can check right now!" offered Gal with anger.

"I said, Doc' will. Don't make me repeat myself again Gal." said Alvi in a threatening tone.

This time, even I shut up and tried, unsuccessfully I admit, not to smirk.

"And bring Spider back to his sense." Ordered Alvi.

Without a word, I followed after Alvi before Gal stopped me or that he changed his mind.

"I am not infected!" I said to Alvi once we were a bit further away, just followed by Minho.

"We'll talk after Doc' checked that." Answered Alvi.

"Fine…" I sighed. "But when he will have confirmed, we have to talk."

"… after." Commented Alvi.

"Ok, ok."

"…"

"Where is Newt?" I asked, surprised to haven't seen him next to the door and having to ask.

"Not here." Answered eloquently Alvi.

"Yeah, I saw that, thanks." I humoured.

"He is in the cage. Alvi had to make him throw there after…" answered Minho.

"The cage?" I repeated, referring to the hole that served of jailed, barely big enough to stand.

A deadly look of Alvi made Minho shut up.

"Don't you have work to do?" Threatened Alvi.

Minho just throw an apologetic look at me before running away.

"Newt…is he ok? I know, no conversations, just…please?" I asked Alvi, a bit too desperately.

"…he is safe." Answered simply Alvi, taking pity of me –or getting sick of me and knowing I wouldn't shut up until he answered me-.

I just shut up after that, following him to the infirmary.

"Lad!" Doc' welcomed me by hugging me under the careful watch of Alvi.

"Are you ok? What happened to you?!" Doc' asked.

"Doc', I'm fine!" I said with a smile, suddenly feeling tired by just standing.

"Oh no you don't look like you are." Commented Doc'.

"I am just thirsty and tired." I said.

And it was true. I felt better than I was since a long time.

"For the thirstiness I can help you." Doc' said with a smile.

He gave me some water that I gulped with greed.

"Doc' you should…" started Alvi.

"I am doing my job! And now you're on my way!" He turned Alvi to silence.

Even in my state, I always was impressed by the power he had over all of us.

I put my water on the bed.

"Doc', please examine me and confirm to him that I am not infected." I asked.

I said while starting to take off my clothes. It was a bit disturbing, but necessary. And I had no more time to lose anyway. I kept my underwear and even Alvi didn't ask me to stop covering my breast once I had taken off my bandage.

Embarrassed, they both turned their back to me while I put my clothes back on me.

"So maybe you can explain what happened last night?" Asked Alvi.

"More than that. I can give you the way to get out of here. I have the key." I answered.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The shocked gasps from both Doc' and Alvi assured me of my effect.

"The key?" Repeated Alvi.

I nodded.

"Actually, he is at the camp." I said.

 _"He_?" Asked a lost Alvi.

"I will explain everything. But first, there are something that has to be done." I announced.

"What do you mean?" Asked Alvi with suspicion.

"You have to make sure that Spider doesn't run away, he is the main card. Throw him into the cage or tie him to a tree or make Gal sit on him." I said vehemently.

"I can't really do that." Answered Alvi, doubtful.

I could read on his face that he fought I was turning nuts.

"Listen, he is not what he said he is. I remembered. I remembered everything! I exaggerated a bit, getting over excited about the realization that we had the solution to the maze and that we could run away from this nightmare." I announced.

"Lad, this is not really making sense." Interrupted the Doc'.

"But…"

"Maybe if you could start from the beginning?" Doc' offered.

I sighed. He was right, I had to calm down. But the feeling that we had to move immediately, before everything –Spider especially- disappeared into smoke couldn't get away from me.

I forced myself to calm down.

"Ok…I started to remember few nights ago about some memories. But nothing detailed. I was in a laboratory and someone was making various tests of injected products. The only thing I remembered was a spider. I thought I was using it in my mind because I don't like spiders so it did make sense. You see?" I asked.

To the look on their face, obviously, they didn't.

"Let me rephrase, I was the guinea pig of some laboratory, and I knew ….well I know, that it was like this since a long time. That I was in this lab since a long time." I tried to explain.

I ignored the look on their face and kept talking, refusing to feel ashamed or scared anymore.

"Yesterday, Spider pushed me back, using too many detailed about this memory to be a coincidence. It pulled a trigger that I was not ready for and I turned momentarily crazy" I insisted on the _momentarily_ , "and I got away from him and so from the camp. I shouldn't have reacted this way, that's true. But…I couldn't control myself." I explained.

"Wait…which type of detailed?" Asked Doc'.

"I don't know…" I lied before pushing myself to open up. I needed them to trust me and it was not with half-truth that I was gonna do that.

"The environment, the atmosphere, the needle, the…incapacity to escape or even control your body. Things he shouldn't have knew. Things that were …. Difficult to remember. Things he said with…pleasure." I completed with a disgusted shiver _._

I breathed out and continued my story.

"After running to the Maze, I was kind of hysteric and exhausted, I…don't know, I just remembered. I remembered escaping the laboratory, I remembered throwing myself in the sort of cage/elevator, losing conscience and waking up without any memory. I hit my head to the floor very hard when Spider hit me." I added.

"Wait….when what?" Interrupted Alvi.

"The Spider I was seeing in my first dreams was actually not an image or a representation. It was the memory of his arm's tattoo. Spider was the executioner of the lab below us." I answered.

"The…what? What is below us?" asked Alvi.

"The lab!" I shouted. "Yes there is a lab at the bottom of the elevator and we all came from there. I was not supposed to come here but was able to escape. You guys were send here. We are all some guinea pigs of different experience I guess!" I lost patience and control of my mouth, saying everything that was turning in my mind.

"Wait….what?" asked Doc'.

"Spider has the answers! He didn't lost his memory, he remembered the torture. I _know_ he remembers. And knowing him, he knows how to get out. He wouldn't put himself in a cage without the key!" I finished, just a little hysterically.

"Lad….let him go." Asked the Doc'.

"Hein? " I repeated.

At the voice of the Doc' I realized I was grabbing into the collar of Alvi and shaking him. Well trying…fortunately –or not- he was way bigger and stronger than me. He was patiently waiting for me to calm down.

I felt the blood rushing to my face and I let him go.

"I'm…sorry." I apologized, trying to calm down.

He ignored me and smiled. Which, with the predatory look he was having, didn't reassure me one bit.

"If what you said is the truth then we have our exit." Said calmly Alvi.

"What do you mean by "if"?!" I answered back, a bit vehemently.

He just ignored me again and went outside.

"Lad?" asked Doc'.

"Hum?" I turned back to Doc', stopped in my track to follow Alvi, restless.

"Don't worry, Alvi is going to put someone on the back of Spider." Explained Doc'.

"Yeah, I know." I said without putting much effort to hide the lie in my voice.

I _had_ this nauseous feeling that if I get my eyes out of Spider, he will disappear, and so our chance to exit. I had to be the one watching him. After all I knew what he was able of. Nobody else did. I had to find him!

"Eat!" Ordered Doc'. He put the rest of a sandwich that he might have got for breakfast, into my hands, breaking my trails of thoughts.

A bit confused, I looked at him. Crossing his arms on his chest, he was looking at me attentively in the motherly expectation of a ratoon. I could read in his eyes the silent promise that he would not hesitate before pushing all of the sandwich in my mouth if I didn't obey in the next 2 seconds.

"Ok, ok!" I said before taking a bit of the sandwich.

With the explosion of savours I had in my mouth, though for the same usual sandwiches I had before, I discovered I was starving. Without waiting, I took another bit and another and finished the sandwich in a couple of seconds.

"Are you ready for what is coming next Lad?" asked the Doc' carefully.

"Hun?" I asked him, not very elegantly, the mouth still full of bread.

"If what you said is….well…according to what you say, this Spider know much more about you than anybody in this camp." Doc' added.

My mouth empty but my mind not following what he was talking about; I reiterated my inelegant _Hun_.

"He knows that you are a girl." Explained Doc'.

In front of my inexpressive face, he sighed with despair.

"I don't think he will keep your secret." Explained again Doc'.

"Oh….OH! I got it!" I exclaimed a bit too enthusiast.

"Young lady!" Reprimanded Doc' with an irritated frown.

"I know, I know! I mean, I don't think it will matter to anybody if we can have the path to the exit." I said, discovering that I was feeling at peace with the idea.

"Seriously?" Asked Doc', surprised by my sudden access of wisdom.

"Well, I don't want Spider to have any way of pressuring me. Also…I don't wanna hide anything anymore now that I found back who I am…No matter where I came from or how I got here, I am me. I don't wanna play someone else game anymore." I tried to explain, clumsily.

Doc' sighted before ruffling my hair.

"Your decision Lad." he decided.

I smiled,

"Thanks Doc'! For everything!" I was so grateful for everything he did, not only today but since I arrived here.

"Don't mention it," he answered embarrassed." Let's go look for the others."

"Yeah!"

We left the infirmary, looking for Alvi and Spider.

It was not difficult to spot Alvi, talking to Minho in front of Spider hut. From their relaxed look, I got that he was still out from my hit earlier. I smirked, proud of it.

"Doc'….since everything is under control, I am going to …. I have something to do first." I said awkwardly.

"Oh? Sure. But be sure to be here when he'll wake up." Said Doc'.

I nodded to him before leaving.

Once I was out of view from him, I sped up towards the cage, where Minho said Newt was put.

I trotted towards it, ignoring the looks on people face when they were seeing me. Quite as seeing a ghost.

I finally arrived to the cage. The cage was defining a rough hole in the ground, closed by solid bamboos bars. The camp had two of them, a bit further from the huts. You could hardly stand inside, just had to stay sitting or squatting, until you could get out by Alvi order.

Sometimes they had to put infected inside these cages, until the night arise and the doors of the maze were going to close. At that time, they freed them and put them in the maze. Like Franck. Before putting him back to the Maze. To die or survive, without hurting any of us.

I pulled a face, imagining Newt inside these.

I saw him before he saw me. Sitting, facing the wall of the cage, he looked restless.

"Funny, I would have choose another place for holiday." I broke the silence.

He tensed and slowly turned his face towards me, haggard. Blinded by the lights, he blinked a few times.

"Maybe a place with more sun. And definitely bigger." I kept talking.

"Midget?" He asked, confused.

"Hey Newt." I greeted him.

"What….what are you doing here?" he asked, confused.

"Well, the beach was packed so I only had this option left." I joked.

"You came back?" He asked, ignoring my bad joke.

"Yeah." I answered.

"What bloody happened? Why? Why did you left like this? How did you….how did you make it?!" he asked, restless.

I left my hands to stop him.

"I will explain. I'll tell you everything ok?" I said to calm him down.

He got silent. I sat down and started my story. I explained like I did before, the reason I left the camp the way I did, the memories that came back to me during the night and the idea that came from it.

I had been able to tell the story to Alvi and Doc' in a detached way. I knew I couldn't do it with Newt. In a bizarre way, I was ashamed of having been this powerless and I didn't want him to know.

So, I avoided the guinea pig story and just explained we were in the same lab. Spider for his work and me, as one of the patient. I didn't want to give him too much details about it. I felt awkward telling him about this side on me, the defenceless one. I had more complex feelings towards him than with Alvi and the Doc'. Since that kiss, I didn't want him to see any bad side of me. Any weak points. I still didn't know what that kiss really meant to Newt. I knew he cared about me and I didn't question this. But I also was the only girl he saw since he was here. It is not really a lot of choices on his side.

Anyway, my pride forbid me to tell him too much details. I just gave him a really simple sum up of the memories and avoid the encounter with the Griever. I drew him under a lot of details for our escape from the maze. I knew that like Alvi and Doc' he will focus on that point. At least for the moment.

"Midget, Midget, stop for one second!" Newt interrupted me.

I obey, realizing I got over excited with this idea of escaping and hadn't catch my breath.

"So…Spider is our bloody way out?" Newt asked.

"Yes!" I nodded enthusiast.

"But…I doubt he will just accept to lead us toward this bloody exit." He analysed coldly.

"We'll make him talk." I answered in an icy tone.

I had no issues with helping him to answer us. To persuade him. Worst, I realized, I was waiting for that. To pay him back, to torture him slowly.

"Hey…. I'm glad you made it back." Newt said softly.

A sudden warm on my hands stop me from my wild imagination. I lowered my eyes on his hand on mine, across the bars.

"Yeah….me too." I answered honestly.

We stayed silent for a moment, a bit awkwardly.

"By the way, how did you make it inside the cage?" I asked, sincerely surprised to find him inside this.

"Hum….long story." He said, embarrassed.

"Hey! I just told you my long story!" I pushed him.

He just ignored me.

Before I was able to push him, Minho arrived, running.

"Hey Midget! Alvi is calling for you. Spider woke up." Said Minho.

I immediately forgot about Newt story. I stood up and turned to face Minho.

This was the moment I was expecting. And it was making my blood freeze in my veins. What if I was wrong, what if he didn't know? Worst, what if I was right? What would happen? Will we get away of here, of the Maze? Then what was waiting for us outside?

These ideas made me dizzy and I took a moment to remember to breath.

 _Right or not, we will be fixed_

I came back to my sense.

Newt was trying to convince Minho to let him come, that he had to be there. In which Minho was just repeating that without Alvi's order he wouldn't do a thing.

I _knew_ Newt was right but I felt glad that Minho didn't. I didn't want him in there. I didn't know what would happen, what would been said….I haven't got all of my memories back. I didn't know what Spider would know that I didn't, and how it would change me.

I acted cowardly and let them there, discussing and promising to each other a lot of horrible things.

I left them and went for Spider. I was going to get the truth out of him. The truth and our way out.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

I had no idea how I was going to do this. No idea of what I was going to do. Newt, or Alvi, would have elaborated a strategy, make a plan, and got the result they wanted.

But I was none of them.

Walking toward the hut, I wiped my hands against my pants. I could still feel the sweat running down my spine, scared as I was to mess up, of what will come next. They will probably banned my from the camp, throw me back in the Maze with all of the infected and the grievers. I would be all alone without any refuge. How long would it take for one of the monsters to find me and to eat me or infect me? Worst, what if I got infected and made it back in the village? What if I hurt Newt, or Minho, or Doc, or anybody?

I realized my legs were shaking and my hands were sweaty again.

I stopped and forced a deep breath. I couldn't allow that. I couldn't lose. He will talk. I will make him talk I promised to myself.

With a new determination and after wiping my hands again, I finished the few meters between me and my future.

With a decided steps, I walked in ignoring the look of curiosity on the people that observed my strange outburst.

Getting in, I nearly collapsed against Alvi's back. Avoiding him at the last minute, I went next to him to face Spider.

He was standing, his back to us, talking with Doc' like nothing happened. He even looked relax, his shoulders weren't tensed. He was acting like if he was innocent, like he had nothing to be afraid of. Like he shouldn't be scared of me.

It infuriated me.

My nails dug deep in my palms' skins. I could taste blood in my mouth because I was biting the inside of my cheeks too hard. All of that to stop me from punching him again. I wanted to make him scream, to make him cry, to beg me for mercy and to laugh at him. I wanted him to be scared of me, to understand I was free now. That I will not be his toy anymore and that I never ever allowed him this control over me. I wanted to hurt him so bad and so deeply that he will cease to be.

God, I wanted to _kill_ him.

It shouldn't be so hard, right? I just had to strangle him until he couldn't breathe anymore and that his face turned blue, until his eyes popped out…

A discreet nudge on my side brought me back to reality.

With crazy eyes, I looked at the origin of the contact and realized it was Alvi. He wasn't watching me but hadn't been obvious to my "internal" crisis.

I forced myself to exhale and to stop thinking. If I did anything of what my body was ordering me, Spider will have no issues to get away from me. He was stronger than me. No, if I wanted to make him play in my hand, I had to think of a better way.

A different way…

Helpful for once, my mind brought me back the image of a lady with a strict blond bum. He got so pissed when she ordered him round.

There I had my flash.

I will become her. I will be this _Madame O'Hara_.

With nonchalance, I leant on the wood wall. I forced my body to relax and to express all the assurance that I was far to feel. I built my voice on my memory. And with a cold and haughty tone, I said.

"Did you mess up again, Paul?"

I saw his shoulders tensed. He jerked and turned to face me, his face reflecting fear.

I allowed my body to express its real feeling, and felt my lips stretching in a satisfied smile. Like a shark smelling blood into water, it excited the predator in me to see him like this, even for 1 second.

I let the silence answered me. From what I remembered, she was far too important to push him to answer. She was in control and knew it. I made sure my face was the perfect copy of hers.

With an awkward tempo, he smiled at me.

"Hey…Midget." Spider said in a dry voice

I ignored him and just waited. I could observe him, all tensed. His eyes quickly ran to the doors and Alvi, which was the most dangerous of us all. Alvi saw it too, and he unperceptively tensed, ready to stop Spider if he tried anything funny. Spider didn't see it, too focus on me. I had destabilized him.

"Did you?" I asked again with a sight.

"Did I what?" Spider answered abruptly.

He was showing a defensive attitude.

"Did you seriously believe that bringing me back will erase the mess that you did? That you won't be punished?" I asked with a smile

"What…what are you talking about?" asked Spider, awkwardly.

"I am curious of what _she_ is going to do to you." I said.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He lied.

I smiled and came closer to him.

"I can help you remember…" I murmured before watching him with icy eyes.

"Are you just incompetent or totally stupid?" I murmured to his hear, in my best imitation of this Madame O'Hara memory.

"…"

"Did you forget the drugs or waited more than necessary for the tests, again?" I added, not sure if my performance was good enough. But I had to give my everything to it. It was our only chance.

"What….." Spider started.

I didn't let him time to talk. Grabbing his collar, I shook him and kept yelling at him. Thinking of it, it was probably less O'Hara-like than me-like.

"You have messed up again, haven't you?" I shouted.

"No, I…" answered a confused Spider.

"You have messed up and lie to _her_ , you are as useless as usual." I commented.

"..stop it." He shouted.

"You know what will happen to you, you know what is going to happen to you, Paul." I smirked.

"STOP IT!" He yelled

"Paul _she_ told you, don't ever make _her_ repeat _herself_." I put all of the disdain that I had felt coming from this woman, in my words, making him feel useless and powerless.

"Shut up you stupid bitch!" Spider shouted before pushing me back.

He was stronger than me and easily swept me off my feet, making me fall on the ground. The chock took my breath away but I managed to protect my neck from his hands. He was stuck to just shake my collar. His eyes were crazy, burning with hatred and rage.

"You fucking bitch! I will bring you back and _she_ will have nothing to say back. I will show her and make _her_ fucking shut up. I will drag you to _her_ face and _she_ will have to recognize _she_ was wrong and that this idea was great. That _I_ am great."

"Ohhhh and how could _she_ do that, now that you are trapped here with us? You are even more stupid than _she_ thought. You proved _her_ wrong, congrats!" I said sarcastically, trying my best to ignore the violent shakes he was doing to my collar.

He stopped and just laughed, totally losing it.

"Stupid, me? Stupid me? I am not like you, piece of trash! Of course I know how to get back. This is my plan. All of it is my plan." Spider bragged.

He kept going on while Alvi and Gal just took him away from me. He was still trying to throw himself at me. Not able to resist, I punched him again right in his noise. I wanted to throw myself at him again and kick his ass.

Only the strong hands of Doc' stopped me.

"It was not necessary." Doc' reproached me, looking at Spider, knocked over from my last punch.

"Maybe not" I admitted. "But damn, I loved it."

I had a mental high five with myself in front of the knocked out Spider on the floor, for the second time of the day. I was getting used to it.

I started to realize that there was a small group of people at the hut, including Gal, following our discussion. I ignored them and turned to Alvi.

"I think it is enough, isn't it?" I asked Alvi.

"What the Hell is going on?" Shouted Gal.

Still feeling the adrenaline in my blood I turned to him and point my finger at Spider, lying on the floor.

"He chose to come here. He knows the way out. He _is_ our way out." I shouted at Gal, still under adrenaline.

Gal looked at me, his face reflecting his confusion.

"What …?" was the only thing he asked.

I didn't know what it was, probably a mixed between my excitation to know I was going to get out of there, the relief to have been right, the anger I had against Spider, the worried of having him so close. All of these mixing were running in my veins, and under the rush of adrenaline from before, I just wanted to shake Gal to make him understand.

Doc' probably read the air before I understood and he intercepted me, putting his hands on my forearm.

"Let's explain everything." Doc' said, his focus on Avi, looking for his approval.

"…"

"They all have to know what is going on. And then, we have to choose together." Said Doc'.

"Chose what?" I interrupted.

He didn't answered me, still waiting for Alvi answer. This one slowly nodded.

"Gal bring everyone to the main Hut." Ordered Alvi in as deep voice.

"What is going on?" Asked Gal, starting to lose patience.

"Chose what?!" I shouted at the same time, clearly not happy of being ignored.

"Just do it!" Shouted back Alvi.

Both Gal and I shut up, taken aback from the vehemence in Alvi's voice. Ignoring us, this last one ordered a couple of guys to take Spider to the main hut and to tie him there. Still without a look at Gal or I, he just followed them outside the hut. Gal sighed and threw me a bed look before following him.

"What the Hell is his problem now?" I cursed at Gal's back.

"He is just confused, and he doesn't like it. Like none of us." Sighed Doc'.

"You should go get Newt and take him to the main Hut." He finished before leaving.

Getting Newt out of the cage was the only thing that make me come back to earth. I was still burning with too any feelings to really understand what was going on, and even worst, what I should do next. Newt will help. He always knew what to do.

I ran out toward the cage where Minho was still in discussion with Newt. Seeing me rush to them, Minho smiled.

"That was fast! Did you missed me that much?" Minho joked.

I ignored him and opened the lock of the bamboo cage.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Asked Minho, surprised.

"It's ok, Alvi said to do so himself." I answered before stretching my hands inside the hole of the cage to help Newt out.

This last one stood up and looked at me.

"What's going on?" Newt asked to me concerned, without taking my hand.

"I'll explain to you. But first, come out of this cage. Alvi is asking for all of us. And we have our way out, Spider blew his cover up." I said.

"What?" Shouted Minho.

Ignoring him, I finally grabbed the hand of Newt and helped him out of the cage.

"What happened?" Asked Newt, echoing a shocked Minho.

I could read concern in his eyes. He _knew_ I hadn't tell him everything before. I was pretty sure he could also feel that what was going to follow will be key.

"It's a long story…I'll tell you everything inside the hut. I'll tell everyone." I concluded.

"Midget…" Newt said, without letting go of my hands.

I looked at him with a smile.

"It is time." I said simply, putting a brave face.

Without a word, he tighten his grip on my hand. He knew. He knew that I had to say all the story and all the truth inside the hut. I will not be easy. And it will not be welcomed. But it was necessary.

Newt returned my smile.

"It will be ok. I'm bloody with you." He smiled at me.

A warm feeling grew inside my stomach. I was not nervous or scared or anxious anymore. I was not alone. Newt, the man I had chosen, the man I trusted, the man I loved was with me. And even if I was unsure of what was going on with him about me, I knew he will have my back.

"Hey…..can any of you explain what is going on?" Asked Minho, feeling something important was happening.

I interrupted my exchange with myself to look at Minho.

"I will explain to you everything in details too." I said, suddenly scared I was going to lose his trust.

Minho had been one of my first friend, one of my most strong allies, always there when I needed him, always friendly and nice to me. I had no intention to hurt him. But I lied to him for a couple of week. I lied to him about who I was. Who would do that to a friend?

"Minho… No matter what happen inside the hut….I always considered you as my friend and trusted you. It just that some … some things….are very difficult to say. And not matter what, please be sure that I am truly sorry I haven't tell you before." I said.

"Heu…said what before?" Asked Minho, disturbed by my sudden gravity.

"…I will say everything. I'll tell you everything inside the hut. I would have like to tell you alone beforehand, but I am running out of time. Alvi is waiting for us. And then, the outside World is waiting for us." I answered.

"You're weird Midget." Minho answered, unsettled.

"What do you mean by the outside World?" He kept asking.

"Midget…will explain everything inside the Hut." Interrupted Newt.

He pushed Minho and I toward the Hut where Alvi and the majority of the camp was waiting for us.

I threw a last glance at the doors leading to the outside.

 _Soon!_ I promised myself. And this time, I won't be alone.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Inside the Hut, that was very messy. I could see everyone shouting to know what was going on. On the stage, Alvi was sitting, ignoring Gal who was trying to get information out of him. I couldn't see Doc' but I was pretty sure that he wasn't far away.

Behind Alvi, 2 runners were standing with stick, keeping an eye on Spider. I wasn't sure if he was still out of it, but he was on the floor, limping against a chair, his face facing the other direction.

Suddenly not sure of what to do, I just stood there, in the entrance, looking around me at the faces of the people I had grew to know and appreciate. From my spot, I could see the red hair of Damien, agitated and in deep conversation with Nigel, my quiet roommate. This last one, as usual, was just listening, patiently waiting to know what was happening.

The guys who usually hang with Gal and that I rather avoid since my relation with Gal haven't gone in the good way, were next to the stage, trying to get out what was going on.

Frypan, the cook, was not paying any attention to anyone, sleeping on a chair. I could almost distinguish his peaceful snoring.

I suddenly felt the weight of Alvi's stare on me. I looked at him and realized he was actually staring at someone behind me.

"Come on, let's go." Murmured Newt in my ears.

I hadn't realized that Minho and him were still standing close to me.

With a gentle push, Newt pushed me through the group of guys toward the stage. Without any hesitation, he joined Alvi. Extending his hand to me, he pulled me to the stage to, regardless of my hesitation.

Alvi stood up, attracting everyone attention.

"Thank you for coming here. I know we are all busy. I asked you to come for a good reason." Alvi started with his stentor's voice.

The people started to get silent, I saw Frypan waking up. Everyone paid attention to Alvi. They all knew he wouldn't ask them to come over for no reason.

"Alvi, what's going on?" Asked a voice.

Alvi raised his hands to calm the person who just talked, and more generally, all of the agitated people.

"We are all trapped here since way too long, for God know what reasons. Since the start, the Runners are trying to figure out the exit. Until now, unsuccessfully." Alvi said.

I saw the face of the Runners next to me showing a mix of various emotion, anger, shame, dejection. The same emotion was playing on Gal's, Minho's and Newt face.

"It has been so long that some of us are here, without knowing what is outside. Is it better than here? Is it worth the trouble? Don't we have anything we need here?" Asked Alvi.

"These thoughts came across many of us. They come to me every time the doors open. Every time the Runners go. Every time one of us don't make it." The anger and sadness in Alvi voice pierced through my heart.

Was it the meaning of today? Did he have doubts about leaving? Does he just want to stay here? Keep being the guinea pig of some crazy mind? I clenched my fists.

I got ready to talk back to him. Of course it was scary outside, but we would be free.

Before I could answer him back, he kept talking.

"These thoughts come to me all the time. But all the time, the door open and close, the runners go to find the exit. We keep hoping to get out of here. To go anywhere. To not be trapped anymore." He said.

I could feel my arm airs getting all electrified by his words and by the vibrant atmosphere within the hut. I understood where he was going to. And I was not the only one. Not a single noise was heard, nobody wanted to disturb his words. All of us, we were all hooked to his every words.

"One of us,…no actually….one that we thought was one of us, has the answer." Alvi added.

I felt the stare of Gal on me. Raised my eyes to the sky….seriously this guy was really dumb.

"This guy knows the way out." Finished Alvi, pointing at Spider.

A big brouhaha answered his declaration.

"What do you mean?"

"Explain!"

"We have our way out?"

"He is not one of us?"

"We can go home?!"

Everyone was shouting and standing at the same time, trying to understand what was going on.

"Silence!" Alvi shouted louder than anybody else.

Reluctantly, they stopped shouting and paid him attention.

"This man, Spider, he is not one of us. He is one of them, one of the people who send us there." Alvi explained.

"How do you know that?" Interrupted Gal, dumbfounded.

"I…" started Alvi.

"I remembered it." I interrupted Alvi.

"You…what?" Repeated Frypan.

Alvi was looking at me, letting me explain the messed I created. I tensed, feeling all of the attention on me. Taking a breath, I advanced towards Gal, talking loud enough for everyone to here.

"I remembered. I remembered him, I remembered the lab and the experiences." I said.

Arriving in front of Gal, I turned to look at everyone's face.

"We are all coming from a lab, below our camp. A lab where a group of scientist experience on us like if we were guinea pigs. I don't know what they are looking for, but it has been going on since a long time. Everything that happened is planned by them. They have full control of everything." I kept talking, ignoring the ball of fear in my stomach.

"What…what do you mean, a lab?" Asked Nigel.

"I…" I took a breath, I had no idea where to start _._

"What do you remember?" Asked Newt.

I looked at him. He was trying to guide me. As helpful as always. I took more confidence in me and started a smile towards him before focusing on everyone again.

"Since I am small, I was locked inside the labs, below the camp. Every day, they were practicing various tests on me. Usually drugs, observing my body's reaction. Sometimes physical test or mental ones. I was also receiving trainings about randoms topics, mathematics, science… " I passed under silence the feeling that they were doing this to have good conscience and give back some of what they stole from me.

"I was in a different part of the labs than you. But I saw some of you when you were brought to the cage. I had no idea to where. I started to get some information with the months. They are called WICKED. There are two types of scientists down there. The one doing the experimentation directly on humans, like Spider." I said with disgust.

"You mean Spider was one of the scientist?" Asked Damien.

"He _is_ one of the scientist. HE came here on his own decision." I added.

"Wait. Why would he do that?" Asked Damien again.

"I am not….well…I escaped. I was not supposed to come here. I was under his responsibility. He is here to bring me back." I said simply.

I could feel the heavy stare of Newt, but I refused to look at him. I was already focusing on not losing myself in my explanations.

"Are you sure of that?" Asked Gal'.

I looked at him with anger.

"We spend years together. So yes. And if you need more proof, he totally lost it in front of Alvi and Doc. If I recall correctly, you also were in the room." I said with sarcasm.

"You mentioned a second group of scientists?" Interrupted Doc' before I started to pissed of Gal' even more.

"Yay…the second group of scientist were observing and analysing. I was not in contact with them a lot." I added.

I remembered Spider making fun of them, calling them the administrators, saying they had no idea what it was like on the field, what real tests were like.

"Now, I understand, they were checking on all of you, observing all of your behaviours here." I said, more for myself.

"…why?" Asked Minho, looking at me with lost eyes.

I had nothing to answer him. Silence felt on his question. Everyone was wondering the same thing.

A weird noise pierced the silence. Looking for its origin, I realized that Spider was awake and that he was laughing.

"What is so funny asshole?" Asked Gal.

Slowly, Spider turned his face towards us.

"Why, why….maybe for no reason? Maybe it is just fun to watch you struggle everyday?" He said in a weird voice.

His crazy eyes lost in his thoughts made me shiver.

"Because, God it's so funny…. A game that you start one day and become addicted. You are in control of everything, you are a God. You can see everything without being seen. You can do anything you want without any limits. No one can resist you. You, in the other hand, are just toys who can't defend themselves. You can just cry, beg and scream, running in circle….or tied up on a chair. It is so nice….isn't it Subject 13?" His eyes suddenly focusing on me.

"Tell them, tell your friend how nice I was with you…you never resisted me, not even once. You knew I was your God." He said in a crazy voice.

I knew he was insane, I always knew it. But he made me so feel so disgusted and dirty, just by looking at me. I wanted to punch him in his face again, punching him until there were nothing but bloody pulp. At the same time, I was disgusted at the idea of touching him ever again.

"Shut up, you bloody piece of shit!" Shouted Newt, jumping in front of Spider and grabbing him by his collar.

I could read a real anger on his face. Strangely enough, it made me content. Newt was defending me.

"Oh you're protecting your girlfriend little boy?" Asked Spider, laughing even harder.

"Shut up." Growled Newt.

"I could teach you a lot about her, after all, she was my toy for years." said Spider with an insinuating voice.

"I said shut up!" Screamed Newt before throwing him against the wall.

Being still tied up, Spider crashed against the wall before sliding to the floor, laughing like crazy.

"….why did he say girl?" Asked Minho behind me.

I turned to face him slowly. He was looking at me with disbelief.

"Minho…." I started before stopping, unsure of what to say exactly.

"What….you mean…you are a girl?" Asked Minho again, stepping back of a few steps like if I was having a contagious disease.

These steps backs hurt more than I was expecting.

"I didn't mean to hide it…it just… it was…" I started, at loss of words.

"It was my idea." Added Alvi, interrupting me.

Surprised, Minho and the other looked at him.

"It was already difficult enough for you to accept a newbie at a time that was not planned. I didn't want to cause more uproar and distractions." Added Alvi simply.

"And it's not such a big deal." Added Newt.

"She has done her part of the work since she came, and now found us our way out!" He kept going.

"You knew?" Asked Minho, looking at him.

I could read betrayal in his eyes.

"That was stupid to hide it, seriously man!" Criticized Gal'.

Gal' looked at me at kept talking.

"I seriously don't care if you have something between your legs or not. How do we get out of here?" He said crudely.

Only a bunch of guys seemed shocked by the news of my gender, the rest were like Gal', looking for the exit too desperately to care about the rest. In a way, and for the first time, Gal' was being very helpful to me.

"Spider, he came in to follow me and brought me back. He know how to get out of here." I explained.

"That's all?" Asked Gal' with anger.

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Isn't it more that you ever get?" I asked with sarcasm

"This guy…he is insane…how can we entrust our live to him in the maze? You are stupid to think that you have all of the solution!" commented Gal.

"What the hell is wrong with you? We finally have one of them with us. He care too much about his life to risk it." I argued back.

"Didn't he just do it by coming into the maze?" Asked one of Gal's pal.

"This is not the maze, just the camp, he thought it was safe!" I fought back.

"This is too dangerous! It is safer to just find another way." Screamed Gal'.

"Being here is dangerous! We never found any other way!" Shouted Newt at Gal'.

From that point, everyone started screaming again. I sighed. How could they be like this? I guessed Gal' had a point. But it is not by putting our hands to the sands or avoiding anything risky that we will live again.

With a sight, Doc' came to me.

"This is going to take time." Doc' sighted.

"You knew it will?" I asked him, surprised.

"Understand them Lad'. Living here is all that we have, all that we all know. Accepting changes takes time." He said.

"But…" I started before stopping in front of him shaking his head.

God, that was so frustrating! I just wanted to jump and shout at everybody, to make them listen to me. But I had say everything, however, knowing that didn't help me feel better.

A sudden panic scream brought everyone attention to the entrance of the main hut, where a guy was rushing in.

"They're here! In the camp! Run! They're here !" he shouted, in panic.

"…."

"The grievers!" he shouted again.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Only the silence answered him for a couple of seconds.

People were looking at each other in disbelief. After all grievers never ever attacked the camp, they never came out of the Maze and rarely out in broad daylight.

As to mock our thoughts, a very recognizable and strident scream of griever, way too close to be from the Maze, echoed in the hut.

The disbelief let place to the terror on everyone's face.

And there, it was the chaos.

Everyone was rushing, running towards the exits, in panic.

I felt the terror of my memories of the night in the maze, rushing back to me.

This time, I had nowhere to hide. We had nothing to fight them, nowhere to run to.

 _No, not nowhere…_

After all, if they were here, they weren't in the maze. And we could make it out this time.

I turned against the crowd that was pushing me out of the way, trying to get back to the centre of the hut. Going to the opposite direction, I got pushed back hard.

"Ah …" I felt down on my knee, couldn't resist the mass of people pushing me away.

A sudden strong grip pulled me back on my feet and to the middle of the hut.

"You're ok?" Asked Minho after letting go of my arm.

"Thank you." I said, happy that he helped me and hadn't just ignored me.

I felt guilty to even think that he could do that. Minho was not the type of person to let me get hurt just to get back on me.

"We need to go!" He said at me.

We could hear the scream from outside the hut of the guys who escaped first.

"We need him!" I shouted to cover the noise, pointing at Spider.

This one, was not laughing anymore and was looking awfully pale. Newt was already next to him, pushing him back to his feet. We reunited and went towards the exit, the hut was already empty except us.

Looking through the open door, we could see the grievers invading our camp, in broad daylight. They were everywhere. And they were massive. I hadn't realized that in the Maze.

We didn't stand a chance against them. I felt so cold suddenly, surprised that I escaped one of them…and that I was so close to one of them, not long ago, and survived it!

The other guys who were already outside, were all running in every direction, some towards the forest, others towards the habitations or the other side of the camp…but grievers were running after them.

I pointed at the entrance of the Maze.

"This is our only escape!" I said.

Newt and Minho nodded. Spider was just whining and shaking.

"First time of my life I see a God going to do on himself." I said with sarcasm to him.

He totally ignored me.

"On our way, just grab anything that can help but don't stop!" Ordered Newt.

"We don't stop and we don't slow down or we are dead. If you don't run, you are dead." He added, more for Spider than for us.

"Ready?" Newt asked again.

I took a deep breath, and nodded.

"Run!" he ordered.

And with that, we took off. The 4 of us were running as fast as possible, straight to the exit. I could see 3 grievers in my immediate sight. One was in the middle of the garden that Newt and I took so care of, destroying everything in his heavy but fast run after some of us.

I saw on the left side, against the wall of a hut, a sharpened stick. I dodged towards it without slowing down and grabbed it. When I turned to go back to the group, the wall suddenly collapsed, made weaker by the griever that had just jumped on top of the roof.

With a scream, I jumped backward to avoid one of its legs, rolling on the ground. Without stopping, my survival instinct guiding my body, I jumped back to my feet and sped up toward the entrance of the maze. Fortunately, the griever was still unsteady on the wooden logs that used to form the wall. Without waiting for it, I kept running. The adrenaline was making me fly. I could hear my breath echoed in my mind, the pulse of my crazy heart beat against my temps.

I was running for my life, even if my heart was threatening me to explode any moments because of the efforts and the terror.

I suddenly saw someone on my left side. I could distinguish his face, he was of Gal' friend, Marc. And he was going to the wrong direction.

"No….this way!" I shouted.

He ignored me and ran towards the forest.

"No! There is one there!" I shouted again at him in pure vain.

The Grievers that nearly got me was back on its legs. Without hesitation, it threw itself toward the guy who was now closer to it than I was. With shock, I watched the Marc understand that the danger was actually closed than he calculated, and trying to change direction in despair. Powerless, I watched him lose his race against the griever, and this last one closing its huge jaws on the Marc's arm and throwing him to the air.

"Oh my God…." I said, stopping myself to throw up at the view of this poor guy flying in the air like a doll. I never got close to him or really talked to him, but nobody deserved this type of ending.

I stopped watching and focused on my run. I had no desire to finish like him.

I raced toward the entrance of the maze, avoiding the damage caused by the grievers and not turning back. The doors were so closed but seemed so far away at the same time. I was running, paranoid, sure that one of them was running after me. But if I stopped to check, I knew it will close on me and kill me.

I had no idea where were the others, I didn't saw them anymore. Selfishly, at this point, I was too scared to think and slow down.

I suddenly heard a strident scream behind me.

 _Oh My Goooood….._

There really was one behind me. And it was so close that my ears were painful. Or maybe they were hurt by the screams that were escaping my mouth without me realizing it.

I was watching this freaking door and didn't feel like it was any closer. I also grew cold when I realized that making it to the door didn't mean anything since this one was following me. It will not stupidly stopped at the door and say "game over".

 _I don't wanna die! God no! I beg you!_

"Midget, dodge!" Ordered a powerful voice.

At this point, I was not even understanding the meanings of the words. I instinctively recognized the voice and the surprise made me tripped on myself., letting go of the spar I had took.

I felt on myself. Took my impulse, I rolled on myself for a few seconds before stopping, face against the dust.

 _No…not so close to the exit!_

Without paying attention to the pain, I jumped on my feet, ready to keep running. Without stopping I kept running to the maze entrance, few meters ahead.

Just seeing the entrance, I didn't realize fast enough I was running into someone. For the second time in few seconds, I collapsed on the floor. But this time, with something else. In panic, I screamed and tried to stand up to keep running. But this time, a strong grip stopped me.

"Midget!" Ordered a voice. I recognized it.

It was a voice I could trust. This voice meant I was safe. The panic decreased in me, and I finally realized that Newt was blocking me with his body.

"….Newt…?"

He released me, hesitantly. Standing up, he helped me to do the same. Then he hold me again, a second. It felt so good that I lost it, grabbing him and hugging him tighter. I had to feel that he was safe and alive next to me, uninjured.

"You're ok?" He asked, checking on me with an inquisitive look.

"…Yeah…I think so."

I took a deep breathe, starting to clear my mind. With surprised, I realized that I had made it into the maze. I could still see the entrance, but I made it in! Newt, in front of me, looked really pale.

 _Had he been hurt?!*_

"Are you ok?" I asked him, sliding my hands on his torso, checking for possible injuries.

He grabbed my hands and nicely tighten his grips on them, giving me a small smile.

"I am ok." He reassured me.

"We all are." Interrupted a voice.

Jumping around, I realized that Minho was next to us. Without hesitation, I hugged him.

"Thanks God!" I said before freeing him.

Spider was on the floor, looking like he was trying to get his breath back. IT seemed like they were able to grab bags with bottle of water inside and some vegetables from the garden, that must have been waiting next to the kitchen.

"That is a good thing you tripped or this spear would have gone through you!" Added a voice.

I turned to see Doc', arriving with Nigel and Alvi who was supporting Damien with the help of Gal.

"You let that on the floor." Said Doc', giving me the speak I left in my first fall.

"You're lucky that Gal' is such a good shot. He got the eye of the griever, which allowed you to escape. And us to follow you." Added Alvi.

Surprised, I looked at Gal'. I was not expecting him to risk his own skin to save mine.

"Don't look at me like that. This griever was on our way too." Said Gal' while looking at me like I was the stupidest thing on earth.

 _Yeah, it would have been surprising._ I thought to myself while Doc' went to Damien.

"What happened to him?" Asked Minho, looking at Damien.

His red hairs were now drenched in blood.

"A hut felt on him." Answered Doc', who was tearing pieces of his sweater apart, to bandage Damien's head.

"That is the best I can do at this point." Doc' added, apologetic.

"We have to move now." Said Gal'.

"To go where?" Asked Doc'. "Our camp…there is nothing left." He added, shock filling his voice.

We all felt silence, feeling the weight of his words. The camp that we all lived in, our refuge, our home…nothing was left.

I looked at Alvi, Gal, Doc', Newt, Minho, Nigel… they had worked so hard to build it, to survive. And now it was taken from them. That was just not fair. I was pretty upset, even thought I had lived here only a few weeks. But for them, it had been months, years… I couldn't even imagine how hard it should be for them.

"If we stay here, the Grievers are going to find us." Commented Gal'.

"Why would they?" Asked Minho.

"You seriously think that they will just stay at the camp?" Asked Gal'.

"Obviously not." Answered Newt.

"So let's get out of here." I added.

"We still have the map with us." I said, looking at Spider.

Gal' sighed.

"You're back at that again? How the hell are we supposed to trust him? Or even you? For all I know, you are working together." He shouted.

Dumbfounded by that, I stared at Gal'.

"What does that mean?" I asked him, feeling anger building inside me.

"Everything went wrong since you joined us after all." Added Nigel.

Surprised by that attack from Nigel, I lost my words. I hadn't seen that one coming from my quiet roommate.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" Interrupted Newt.

The air got suddenly tensed and threatening. We all were still feeling the adrenaline of the attack running into our blood.

"Now is not the time for that!" Stopped Alvi with a groan.

"We have nowhere to return. Even if they are leading us towards a trap, we already are in one, so what difference does it make?" Concluded Alvi.

"They…?" I repeated, angry.

"You got my point, shut up Midget." Shouted Alvi at me.

Too surprised to even think of answer hi, I just obeyed and turned silent.

"Now, if you want to leave, you are going to take us out of here." Added Alvi with a threatening voice towards Spider.

I wasn't under his glare, but couldn't refrain a quiver. I was seeing his body tensed, his clenched fists and jaw. I could read on his body language that he was ready to throw himself at the throat of Spider if he dared to say anything.

Alvi was scaring me like never. I never doubted his qualities as a leader, but I always thought that it was because he was the first one to arrive in the Maze. Now, I was suspecting that he also defended his role as a Leader with the power of his body.

According the pallor of Spider, he felt it too. He just croaked in a tiny voice.

"I…will." He obeyed.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

We moved immediately after the decision of Spider to survive. Minho and Doc' were supporting Damien, while Alvi and Gal were opening the walk, walking next to Spider.

Newt, Nigel and I were at the end of our small group, watching behind us to make sure we were not attacked by any grievers. We were moving as fast as possible, following the guidance of Spider.

When we arrived in front of a dead end for the third time in one hour, Gal' gabbed Spider by his neck, pushing him against the wall.

"Which fucking little game are you playing?" He shouted at Spider.

Alvi rushed to him to push him back. Gal' was resisting Alvi, still holding Spider against the wall.

"Open your eyes! He doesn't know where he is leading us!" Gal' shouted at Alvi.

"I am not! It is dark here and it's difficult to remember every little way." Spider defended himself.

"Shut up!" Screamed Gal', focusing on Spider.

Alvi used this opportunity to punch Gal in the arm, making him lose grip on Spider.

"What the …" shouted Gal.

"Calm down!" Ordered Alvi, protecting Spider.

"Alvi!" Shouted Gal'.

"No! If you kill him, then we have absolutely nothing!" Shouted Alvi back, losing his temper.

A long scream stopped Gal' to shout back and froze all of us. Grievers had hear their shouting.

"Fuck! They are back to the maze!" Swore Minho.

"Or they are new ones." Added Newt.

"Ouh, you always know how to reassure people." Stated Minho, bitter.

"So…what do we do now?" I asked.

We all looked around. The grievers that we heard didn't seem that closed. But here, out in the open, we were an easy prey.

"How did you survive your night in the Maze?" Asked me Doc'.

Everyone's attention focused on me.

"It was different. There were only me. I was able to find a small hiding spot under the ivy, at the bottom of a wall. But I just had enough place for me." I explained.

A large group of 9 that we were, especially with the big bodies they had and an unconscious, it was out of the question. They all arrived at the same conclusion than me.

"If we can't go down, let's go up!" Suggested Newt.

"Up where?" I asked stupidly.

He caught my chin, and gently forced me to look up, at the ivy covering the walls. Some were not going all the way up, stopping at 10 meters higher from us.

"Up there." Newt added.

"…you've got to be kidding me…" I grumbled.

Unfortunately, it was the best, and only option we had.

After few attempts, we were able to make a rope strong enough to bring the unconscious Damien up there, by tying him to Alvi's back.

We all started to climb. I was feeling the sweat of exhaustion running down my spine. I was so tired that my arms were feeling like stone, and certainly weighted like it.

"Kyah!" I screamed, surprised, when the ivy I was grabbing let go of the wall, making me slide down of few centimetres.

I stopped, pushing my face against the ivy, breathing hard, trying to calm my heart beat. I could feel tears of exhaustion running through my cheeks.

"Take deep breath. It's ok. I am here." Said the calming voice of Newt next to me.

"I can't…" I whined, exhausted.

"You have to." Newt said simply.

And he was right. A tired laugh escaped my lips.

"As always." I murmured to myself.

"Hum?" Newt looked at me, questioning.

"Nothing. I can do it, this is a piece of cake!" I lied.

Ignoring my shaking arms, I pulled myself toward the top one more time. I was pushed by the presence of Newt not too far from me. I already regretted to have whined to him like a weak little thing. No way I was giving up.

I focused on the ivy and climbed, centimetres by centimetres. I had no idea where the top was, I was only focusing on the ivy, ignoring the sweat burning my eyes.

Suddenly, the ivy got replaced by the stone of the wall. I was at the top.

With a last effort that took everything from me, I pulled my body to the top of the wall and rolled farther from the edge. I vaguely saw the others doing the same. I rolled on my back and closed my eyes, taking deep breath.

"You made it!" Complimented Newt, rolling next to me.

I didn't answered him. In the darkness of the night, I reached and grabbed his hand.

I had made it…

We were safe. We were alive. We were together. Nothing else mattered.

This was the last straight clear idea that popped up in my mind before I just fall asleep. Or passed out.

When I woke up, I realized that the night was not as dark as when we made it to the top. The night was finishing. I realized I was all against Newt, feeling his breath on my hair, the warmth of his body surrounding me in a comfortable blanket. Feeling my cheeks grew hot, I tried to focus on something else. That really was not the timing for this little heart attack.

Or was it?

We could die any moment, we were running toward an exit that might as well not exist. What wrong was it to just enjoy these weird and warm feeling every time I was closed to him?

"You're stupid." Interrupted a voice.

I tensed. Did I really said what I was thinking aloud?

A disgusted laugh made me realized I hadn't.

"Shut up Paul." I answered to the voice, throwing a quick glance behind my shoulder to see him sitting, tied up, in the middle of the sleeping rest of the group.

"Why? Because the truth hurts?" Spider asked.

"No because you are bothering me." I answered to him.

"I was serious here." He added.

"…" I ignored him.

"Do you really think that a guinea pig can chose anything in her life? Do you really think you will ever be free?" he asked with anger.

"Well, by example, when I escaped, when I punched you, twice if my memory is correct…hum yes, I had the freedom to make the good choice, I would say." I answered.

I don't know at which point, but thanks to everyone at the camp, thanks to Newt especially, I was no scared anymore.

The silence answered me. I had vex him. A satisfied smile stretched my lips and I squeezed even closed to Newt. After all, he was sleeping and I had the freedom to choose to get really close to him, hadn't I?

"Well said." Whispered Newt's voice next to my ear, making me froze on the spot, blood rushing though my face.

Ignoring the sudden tension in my body, Newt hugged me closer to him.

"We should do that more often." He said, clearly amused of my sudden freeze.

"Hey…don't make fun of me!" I complained, slapping him gently on his stomach.

He laughed, ignoring me.

I didn't move, wondering what he had in mind. I waited for long. Newt did nothing at all, except holding me tight against his broad chest, like to ensure himself that I would not leave him.

"Never." I murmured before falling asleep again, in his strong and warm embrace.

When I woke up, everyone else was already up.

"Time to go, sleeping beauty." Said Minho, amused.

"Oh shut up." I grimaced at him, childishly.

I was feeling refreshed from everything thanks to this welcome sleep. I looked for Newt around and found him, talking to Alvi and watching over the maze, below us.

A bit awkward, I stood up and stretched my painful body. We will have to go down to find the exit, that was sure. A moan, grabbed my attention.

"Damien!" I shouted, rushing to the red hair guy, who was painfully waking up.

Doc' followed right after me, helping Damien to sit down.

"How do you feel?" Doc' asked him.

"Hum…..where…?" asked a startled Damien.

"We are in the maze. You got hit by the roof when the hut collapsed. Take it easy." Explained Doc'.

"We had to run to the maze to escape." Added Nigel.

Damien looked at us, perplex.

"Where are the rest of us?" Damien asked.

A heavy silence answered him. We all tried to avoid to think about that.

"We…are not sure." I finally answered.

I wanted to believe that some of us made it out alive. I didn't want to think that the rest of my companions were not alive anymore.

"Oh…." Was the answer of Damien, who clearly understood what I meant.

"How is it? Do you see clearly? Is it blurry?" Asked Doc' back to work.

"Everything is ok. Except a huge headache and that I would kill for a bit of water, I am ok." Said Damien, trying to calm Doc'.

I smiled at the scene. I was not the only one thinking that Doc' was looking to much like a worried ratoon mother, a bit too invasive sometimes.

"Good!" Sighed Doc'.

Alvi passed his gourd to Damien.

"Are we far from the exit?" Alvi asked to Spider.

"…no." Spider simply answered.

"Ok, time to go everyone!" Said Alvi.

And with that, we made it back into the maze. Even if grievers didn't seem to avoid the daylight anymore, it still felt better than to run in the middle of the night in every possible direction.

Filled with expectation, we all followed after Spider, toward our exit.

We rapidly arrived in a new portion of the maze. There were less walls, more space. It felt good and terrifying at the same time. I was exhilarated to be able to feel that I could breath, not oppressed by huge walls surroundings me. At the same time, it meant that we were easier targets, not many places to hide if any grievers were to attack us.

I was walking with Newt again.

"What is wrong?" I asked Newt.

He seemed lost in his thoughts.

"What do you mean?" He asked, surprised.

"You seem like you are caring all of the weights of the World on your shoulders right now." I added.

He smiled at me.

"You can read me, huh?" he commented.

"This is justice! You could read everything from the beginning." I pouted.

"Not everything." He murmured.

"Huh?" I asked, unsure of what he said.

"Nothing." He answered.

We kept walking in silence before he added.

"I know the Maze. I know it by heart. And there is nothing that looks like an exit." He confessed.

I kept walking in silence for a few minutes.

"Maybe… only one of them can find it?" I tried to answer.

"How?" Asked Minho who was also following our conversation.

"Yes, how?" Asked Gal' with a subtle threat in his voice and looking at Spider.

"First of all, all of the doors and grievers are connected to the main system. This system is the one researcher use to test you and observe your reactions. In case things turned bad and a scientist had to come to make field research, they created a key. There is a microchip that all the researchers have in them. The doors only open to that." Spider explained, tired of being threatened by every body.

This was the reasons why they never were able to find the exit, no matter how many times they were running in the maze, or passing in front of the exit. They didn't have the key.

"How does it work?" asked Newt.

"I am not sure how exactly. They implanted mine when I join the programme 10 years ago, in my hands. It emits a sort of radio signal that is a code to the door system. The grievers have one that put them asleep or can direct them. If a researcher had to be send to the maze, of course, they would cut off the grievers." Added Spider.

"They can control the grievers?" asked Damien.

"Yes." Answered Spider.

"So…they can make them go wherever they want to?" asked Minho.

"Yes. But normally, they don't use this control. It is just in case of extreme urgence." Added Spider.

There were so many questions to ask. But at this point I only cared about one.

"And how far are they, these doors?" Asked Alvi, reading my mind.

"They are here." replied Spider, stopping in front of a dead end like any others, pointing at the opposite wall.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

As he had announced, as soon as Spider walked toward the wall, this one started to slid to the side in a huge and disturbing noise.

Unable to breath, feeling that this moment was key, I hold into Newt's hand stronger than before. What was waiting for us behind these doors? Was is the freedom or a trap? Maybe it was all a test dome by WICKED and their members were waiting for us there.

I don't know which idea was the scariest, but even the possibility of pure freedom was freaking me out. In which type of World would they build huge Maze and put children to die in their without anybody standing against it? I didn't have the answer, but I was sure that I didn't want to believe in these type of World.

All of our faces were frozen, observing the slow sliding of the door, in the middle of the cloud of dust that came out of it.

"Is it…for real?" Asked Ga'.

Slowly, hesitantly, we all advanced toward the light coming from the new exit.

Blinded by the light, I stretched my hand to protect my eyes.

When I was able to open them again, hesitantly, I saw … nothing… nothing at all, no walls anymore.

Just the emptiness of sands.

I walked hesitantly at first, and then more and more enthusiast, toward it, passing the last exit of the maze.

My breath stopped in my throat and I felt on my knee, burying my free hand into the sands. This was for real. We had made it.

We were out of the Maze.

I turned towards Newt, who was paralyzed next to me. Standing, I came closer to him.

I caressed his cheek, chasing his tears.

\- You have made it. I said softly to him.

All of us were staring at the emptiness in front of us, at our freedom.

I could see some green at the distance and some huge towers. I wasn't sure what they were but they sure did look huge. We will have to go take a look at them. But at the moment, we were all trying to understand the signification of our presence here.

We had made it. We survived the maze. We will survive anything that the future had for us.

It took us some time to get back into reality.

Hesitantly, like babies dears taking their first steps in the forest, we walked toward the green and the buildings that we could see. Green meant that there were life, at least water and food. Our survival instinct guided us.

No words were pronounced.

When we arrived next to the buildings, deserted, burned by the sands and sun, the night was starting to fall on us.

We started to establish a camp at the bottom of a building. Unable to sleep, we just stayed awake, looking all around us, too excited or worried to wake up back in the Maze and realize it had all been a dream.

Newt finally stood up slowly and went inside the building. I watched over his silhouette. He needed some time alone, I felt it.

"Thank you Midget." Said Gal, breaking the silence.

I looked at him, puzzled.

"I kept doubting you since you arrived. But…well…You did what you promised. You brought us outside of the Maze. Thank you." Gal explained, with a hesitant smile.

I smiled back at him, accepting his thanks and also apologize of his past behaviours. I understood it. And to be honest, it didn't really mattered anymore.

I looked at our little group of survivor.

Alvi was looking at the desert, I could read on his face that he was making plans to explore, how to survive here, how to make it further and discover other people.

Doc' was staying next to Damien, like a possessive mother. He was always watching over all of us with the same concerned smile.

Spider was isolated a bit further. I had no idea what will happen next with him, but he probably couldn't go back to the scientist after our breakout. I would never forgive him. But I also had to admit that he will be useful to us. He knew too much for us to let him go. There were still too many questions to be answer.

Nigel was resting, quiet as usual. I had been really surprised by his attitude in the maze. I guess I didn't know him as much as I thought I did.

My eyes turned back naturally to the building were Newt had disappeared few minutes ago.

"You should go Midget." Said Minho, following my gaze on the building.

"We will be here anyway." He added with a smile.

"Minho…"I started. Unsure on how to finish, I stopped.

I wanted to apologize for not telling him everything from the beginning, for doubting him in the hut, thinking he will turn his back at me. I wanted to thank him for staying on my side, training me and caring for me. And for being one of my dearest friends.

"I know" he whispered, reading me like an open book.

I smiled at him.

"Thank you Minho." I said before standing up.

I followed Newt in the deserted building. It was not difficult to follow him in that. The only way were stairs that still looked reliable enough to climb. I was very careful, just in case and finally made it to the roof.

And there Newt was, staring at the desert.

"Hey." I greeted him, coming next to him.

"Hey." He replied, grabbing my hand.

I rested my head against his shoulder like if it was the most natural thing on earth to do.

"We made it." I sighed.

"Yay but what happen next?" He asked.

"We will figure it out, as usual." I said, confident.

"Hum, as usual." He smiled.

"As long as we stayed together, we will figure it out." I added.

He hugged me tight against him. We had so many answers to find that it was scary.

I also felt the desire of the guys to go check on the camp again, looking for the rest of us and also weapons, food, everything that could be use. The desert will not be an easy place to survive, even if the green we saw earlier was promising water and probably food.

I looked back towards the walls of the Maze. The entrance closed after us, as soon as Spider and his microchip got away. He will still be useful.

He also knew the entrance towards WICKED.

If what I felt was the truth, and according what Spider said about being able to control the move of the Grievers, then WICKED attacked us at the camp by using the Grievers.

They also knew who we were, where we were coming from, the reasons they had locked us in the Maze and what had happened to this deserted World.

In one way or another, we will have to confront them to get our answers. And to destroy them. All of them.

I looked back toward the emptiness of the desert, and then turned my face towards Newt, observing the strange smart guy who I felt in love with. He turned back his gaze at me, smiling.

"By the way, you never mentioned what was your name?" Newt suddenly asked.

"Alex." I answered.

"Nice to meet you Alex." He murmured.

I blushed. Having the man I loved next to me, whispering my name like a treasure, meant the World to me. Well, it was all of my World.

Newt smiled at my reaction, reading me easily.

"Alex…" He whispered again with his sexy British accent, before kissing me like he did that day in the forest, taking all the rest away until it was only us.

I didn't know what was coming next. But, well, we will made it somehow.

 _The End ?_


	19. Author Note

Dear Reader,

Thank you for visiting my World and spending some time with my characters.

It was my first time publishing a story online. I certainly have enjoyed it.

Your unthinkable numbers and to see the so many countries you are from, are thrilling me. Anytime I got a review, a new follower or favorite, my heart beats faster. So thank you so much for this!

I am already working on another story & I hope to see you there again!

I will let you off with a quotation that has been helping me so many times.

"Only You Can Achieve What You Want, Nobody Will Do It For You"

I hope it can support you one day as it did to me.

With Love,

Sean MacTire


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